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In a Mood

I woke up feeling rather chipper this morning. But between locking the door of the house behind me and getting to the garage to start the scooter, everything went to crap.

I’m going to be using a word repeatedly in this post that should make Randy very happy. In an effort not to offend, I will use a term from Battlestar Gallactica: frack.

…a lot.

OK, so I go to the garage to start the fracking scooter. I unlock the bike lock that I use to secure it and put the key in. But it doesn’t start. It simply makes that wee-wee-wee sound but no vroom-vroom sounds. Now, I had other issues with this before. When I first bought the fracking thing back in March it would always start, but then I’d have issues with it stalling once I was on the street and in traffic.

I had that fracking issue fixed: they adjusted the carburator or some such fracking nonsense. When I picked the scooter up from the dealer, I rode it home with out issue. However, the next day I was running errands after work and the fracking thing wouldn’t start. I tried everything I could think of, including the kick start, but it wouldn’t work. I even called Randy to help and he did manage to get it started. Apparently, now I needed to rev the engine while starting it to get the thing to work.

Fine, I can start doing that.

But this morning…NOTHING would fracking work. I checked the fracking on/off switch, I tried the fracking auto-start, I tried the fracking auto-start with revving, I tried the fracking kick-start, I tried the fracking kick-start with revving. Nothing would fracking work. I gave it a break and tried the kick-start again (while revving) and it finally started reluctantly.

YAY – I was on my way. I rode to work with no issue. Once at the office, I rode to my usual bike rack and parked it. I placed the bike lock through the wheel and into the bike rack, insterted the key…and the fracking thing won’t lock. I sat there for fracking 20 minutes trying to get the fracking lock to lock and it wouldn’t. I have no fracking clue why it won’t; the lock was only purchased last summer when I got my bicycle. When the key is in the lock when the lock bar is not attached the metal u-shaped base, it works like a dream. But the second I put the bar on the metal u-shaped base, the fracking key won’t turn.

It’s official. I hate this fracking scooter. I hate everything it fracking represents. I want my fracking life back.


  1. Comment by Dave in Chicago (2) on April 30, 2008 11:25 am

    Sorry it’s such a fracking pain in the fracking arse! :-/ Bike?

  2. Comment by JC on April 30, 2008 11:36 am

    Yeesh. Sounds like you were better off with the T, despite its lack of proximity to your residence.

  3. Comment by Ed on April 30, 2008 12:49 pm

    That fracking stinks…Sorry for you bad morning. BTW I thought I was the only one that watched Battlestar Galactica?

  4. Comment by Zach on April 30, 2008 12:51 pm

    Sorry about the scooter. Why don’t things work as advertised? What is wrong with a little QC?!!

  5. Comment by Golden on April 30, 2008 1:13 pm

    See? You disrepected the scooter yesterday, questioning his signifigance in your life, declaring him a burden…and he got back at you!

    I hope you figure out what’s bugging him though. I think of new scooters like a new car. Nothing should go wrong with the dang thing for quite awhile.

    Show him a little love and see what it gets you. :0

  6. Comment by snarl on April 30, 2008 1:22 pm

    I think my problem is I like simplicity…and ownership of the scooter has been anything but. I agree it should be problem free for at least the first year (preferably longer) and fortunately there is a one-year warranty.

    I dropped it off at the dealership at lunch time with my list of repairs (there are other issues I didn’t bring up in the blog: sqeaking, turn signals jamming, etc…).

    Wish me luck!

  7. Comment by jeff on April 30, 2008 3:39 pm

    So, scootering isn’t for you, brilliant deduction on my part huh?
    Should have bought a Honda……..

  8. Comment by snarl on April 30, 2008 3:42 pm

    he he. Yes, Jeff, it’s ALL your fault!

    Nah, I just think I may have a lemon of a scooter (not necessarily the model/brand, just my particular scooter). Plus, after 18 years of commuting by public transit, this is an adjustment.

  9. Comment by mindy on April 30, 2008 4:45 pm

    It’s a good thing you’re pretty.

  10. Comment by jeff on April 30, 2008 11:58 pm

    I’m selling my Zuma, I need something faster. What’s it going to take to put you in this scooter today?

  11. Comment by snarl on May 1, 2008 9:16 am

    Is the Zuma the one I test-rode last fall?

  12. Comment by jeff on May 1, 2008 3:25 pm

    That’s the one, I have the need for speed, and 80 MPG….. together.

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