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My People…

My people left EngLAND on the Mayflower in 1620 and settled Massachusetts.

My people have remained in southern New EngLAND for nearly 400 years.

My people have lived off the LAND.

My people are a hearty bunch: capable of enduring everything mother nature has brought their way: hurricanes, blizzards, nor’easters….even earthquakes (yes, New EngLAND has been known to get them every hundred years or so).

My people aren’t adventurous: 400 years and we’re still within 40 miles of where the Mayflower LANDed.

And hopefully through the use of my CAPS, you’ll notice an emphasis on LAND.  That is because I’ve determined that my people should remain on LAND: 4 centuries and they must be doing something right.  I wish I’d known this before I agreed to go sailing this past weekend.

It started out as a lovely afternoon. We all boarded Pete’s sailboat in Hingham and headed out to Boston Harbor. The sun was shining, the conversation was interesting, and the vessel was moving at 5-6 (Don) Knotts per hour. We decided to turn into a bit of a cove, attach to a mooring, and grill some lunch on the back deck.

That’s when things went sour. Once the boat stopped moving forward, it just moved up and down, up and down, up….and down. Then those bastard speed demons in other boats created wakes big enough to…well, not do much of anything. To be honest, everything was pretty calm.

Except for my body’s reaction. At first I moved from sitting on the side of the deck to standing in the doorway to the living room/kitchen. From there, I could see the land (literally within swimming distance) and focus on the horizon. It didn’t help. My stomach didn’t hurt, it just felt odd.

I suddently felt the urge to use the bathroom and did so without incident. But being in the front of the boat (which goes up and down the most), in an enclosed space (the size of an airplane bathroom), with no ventilation, and temperatures hovering near 90 didnt’ create the best mix.

I returned to the front deck and sat with the gang (Peter, Randy, and Chris). We chatted, we laughed and the picked up the sausages from the grill. I was feeling fine. Like I said, my stomach didn’t hurt, but my head felt funny. Not lightheaded, more heavyheaded.

A few minutes later, I mouthed to Randy “I think i’m going to throw up.” Hell, I think I was even smiling when I said this because it all seemed so silly. But seconds later, I’m leaning over the edge of the boat spewing large quantities of green: ginger pills, ginger snaps, ginger/lemon tea. It wasn’t pretty.

It wasn’t long before we noticed some jelly fish hovering that side of the boat. I suppose if I was a jelly fish hunter, I’d have a pretty good career ahead of me.

Alas, I know I won’t hunt jelly fish because I’ve learned some things today:

1 – My ancestors big adventures were 400 years ago. That was enough for the lot of us.

2- I like land (oh give me land, lots of land, under starry skies above, don’t fence me in)

3 – I don’t like vomitting

4 – I’m never going on a cruise

5 – I will not sail again.

6 – I’ve got good friends. Once the grill was cool enough to take down, they packed up and we headed to shore. Of course, they did make me pose for a photo as I reinacted my puking incident. Thanks guys. Seriously…thanks for helping me laugh throughout that rather embarassing moment. It actually helped.


  1. Comment by Brad on August 6, 2007 1:04 pm

    I must be cruel. This struck me as somewhat amusing (especially, assuming you’re feeling ok now). That said, you’re the first person I’ve known to actually get seasick. I know that it happens, but I’ve just not known anyone to have it. Maybe if you go next time, you should take some Dramamine (sp?) or go on a cruise-type boat where they have a stabilizer. Oh well … live and learn. Sorry it wasn’t fun. And what was with all the ginger? Is it an aphrodisiac or something? 😉

  2. Comment by snarl on August 6, 2007 1:08 pm

    Oh, Brad. Feel free to mock me. I’m even mocking myself! Ginger, apparently, is supposed to be good for settling your stomach. It’s “nature’s” way of helping with seasickness.

    Well, nature lies. I did take my Ativan (which supposedly also helps like Dramimine). A few people have told me that small sailboats like this do toss more than larger vessels. I’m going to believe them…at least just to make myself feel better.

    If the ginger is supposed to act as an aphrodisiac, I guarantee you that such things were the furtherst from my mind!

  3. Comment by jeff on August 6, 2007 7:39 pm

    Well, I’m glad I missed that trip. Zach and I had a fantastic time kayaking and there was no vomiting involved. Hope you’re feeling better, I’ve never been seasick but it seems pretty unpleasant.

  4. Comment by Dave Daniels on August 31, 2007 2:12 pm

    OMG, that is a great story. I had a similar scene taking a boat from the Yucatan to Cozumel, and I’ll NEVER take a boat again, not even across to Provincetown. NO WAY!
    Glad you’re feeling better, it’s been a few weeks.

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