Adventures in Gastronomy

I had a great, albeit it haphazard weekend. One minute I’m reading literature, the next I’m playing pool with an intoxicated psuedo-parapalegic. The rest is a blur.

Friday night started off nice enough. I arrived at Mike’s an hour before the party and was sweating to death (it was oddly humid for April). I took a shower, ate some pizza, strung some paper lanterns and then the guests began arriving.

The reading of James Joyce’s Ulysses was more fun than I had expected. Mike had appropriate props (handcuffs, military uniforms, soap, rotten potato) and everybody seemed to enjoy it. Well, except for this one woman. A teacher at Mike’s school brought along his girlfriend who apparently had no idea that we would actually be reading. Aside from her, though, everybody seemed to enjoy the evening.

After everybody left, Mike and I headed off to the Ramrod (getting there at nearly 1AM after getting caught up in Big Dig construction…isn’t that supposed to be done?) We ended up not getting to sleep until nearly 3:30AM.

Just a few hours later Mike’s friend, Justin, called and we ended up going to breakfast, then shopping throughout the Back Bay/South End. By 4PM Mike and I were exhausted and headed back to his place to rest. We ended up spending the rest of the day on the sofa watching TV and DVD’s. Our plans to go out to the bars again never came to fruition as we both ended up dozing off to sleep.

Now, Sunday is where my master abilities at corruption were exhibited in spades. Mike and his Mom went to breakfast and I headed to the market. I got groceries, did two loads of laundry and planned on doing some homework before and after an afternoon party Mike and I were planning to attend in the Fenway. After the party, Mike planned on going to work for a few hours, then to church, then to the gym before going home to do some advance reading for his courses this summer at Oxford.

Well, that’s what he planned. Here’s what actually happened:

We got to the party around 3PM and struck up conversation with other attendees we didn’t know (Mike’s good at that). Two glasses of wine later, Mike and I headed out. Realizing we were only a block away from the Ramrod, we figured we’d pop in for a drink to see what it’s like in the afternoon.

Mike ordered a Jameson and soda and we headed to the back – past the 3 or 4 other customers in the entire place. I told him I wanted to play pool and he obliged. We ended up playing 5 games. While Mike was sober, I was kicking his ass – winning the first two games. However, with a few drinks in him, Mike’s pool-playing skills improved and he won the following two games.

At some point, however, I think he passed that threshold of drunkeness where his skill reverts back to its bad pool-playing sober self and I won the fifth game tie-breaker. Suddenly this “disabled” man in a wheelchair approaced the pool table and wanted to play the winner.

Unfortunately, that was me. Mike then ditched me to go to the bar and left me with this drunk stranger in a wheelchair. He wasn’t really disabled, though, because he occasionally stood up to play the game (though, he took most shots while seated). And he was quite the skilled player. At one point he said that the winner has to give the loser a blow-job. I laughed it off as a joke…until I noticed that he started inentionally hitting MY balls into the pockets. In the end, I won…but fortunately Mike returned at just the right time and I got out of it with just a handshake.

At this point, Mike and I returned to my place, had dinner, watched some hour long dramas on TV (West Wing, Law and Order) and then hit the hay.

Mike never made it to church, never made it to the gym, never made it to work and never did any reading for class. Instead, he ended up drunk at a gay bar in the late afternoon.

The irony is that I can be such a bad influence while not even drinking anything myself. I guess I’m just an enabler.

April 10th, 2006
Categories: Uncategorized . Author: snarl

4 Comments

Comments RSS

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.