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Slip Sliding Away


Warning: the next paragrpah could be classified as TMI (too much information). It could also shatter any and all misconceptions you may have about my aura of flawlessness*. However, feel free to read on.

As the winter months roll around, and as the air gets drier and drier, my feet tend to got a bit dry. There – I said it. My name is Karl – and I get dry feet.

Other people I know get dry hands or faces….for me, it’s my feet. So, after every shower, I slather on some hand lotion (or some such product) onto my feet before putting on my socks. This keeps them from getting dry (so I guess I actually don’t have dry feet since I do something to prevent it).

In addition, I’ve not been so diligent with eating my vegetables over the last week and when this happens, I always seem to get hangnails. On my way out the door this morning (before putting on my gloves) I used some stuff that I inherited from Matt before he moved to San Francisco. It’s some high-falutin’, super-duper, organic, all-natural, hand and body lotion that’s supposed to make me look and feel 10 years younger.

Well, perhaps with repeated use that could happen. But in the mean time, I just wanted to moisten the skin around the cuticles. Yet all it’s done…even an hour after putting it on….is to make my hands so slippery I can’t type, I can’t hold a pen, and I can’t eat my morning yogurt without my fingers sliding down the spoon. And let’s not even get started at how long it took me to peel off the aluminum foil lid to the yogurt container

I hope nobody wants to shake my hand this morning. Though, I suspect I’m capable of one mean hand job.


*This is obviously sarcasm


  1. Comment by Brad on December 15, 2005 11:01 am

    Still, I think slipery hands could be good for something. Hmm. Let me think about that. Oh! I know something they’d be good for . . . but on second thought, I better not post it here! People might get the wrong impression of me. 😉

  2. Comment by David on December 15, 2005 12:04 pm

    Brad, Your hands would slip right of the piano.
    And for your Karl, slipping would be good with your latex fetish. Alsthough, it might stain leather.
    How about going to Trader Joes. Their Extra Dry Moisturizing Cream is non greasy, works well, no scent , well barely, and your get an 18 ounce pump bottle for $3

  3. Comment by Ed on December 15, 2005 1:46 pm

    My goodness Karl that may be TMI. Alas I do feer your pain though. I have dry skin on my hands and shins (weird) for some reason in the winter. Try the Honey & Calendula Moisturizer from Kiss My Face. It works great and that little extra that gets stuck on your hands you can just put on your face.

  4. Comment by Karl on December 15, 2005 2:44 pm

    Um, Ed? “Try the Honey & Calendula Moisturizer from Kiss My Face”….are you sure you’re straight?

  5. Comment by JC on December 15, 2005 2:46 pm

    Hehe…you said hand job.

  6. Comment by Will on December 15, 2005 2:53 pm

    Fritz buys me a bees’ wax, lanolin and oils of olive, lavender and lemon mixture that comes from Sweet Grass Farm in New Hampshire. With all the scene painting and hand scrubbing I do, my hands get hit really badly in winter.

    For the less romantic (or more butch) there’s always Bag Balm. It isn’t fancy but it works wonders. And yes, it’s used on the “bags” of cows and is udderly effective for super-dry skin.

  7. Comment by matt on December 15, 2005 3:53 pm

    Sweeting Darling, that moisturizer was squeezed out of the Gucci of bees! Rejoice in its slippery splendor!

  8. Comment by Ed on December 15, 2005 4:34 pm

    Yeah I’m sure, just a little Metro though..

  9. Comment by Lise on December 15, 2005 5:48 pm

    The best lotion is one that is made for cow udders but you can purchase for humans (or just go to the farm store). Just like horse mane/tail conditiner is the best & you can now buy at your local CVS or supermarket.

  10. Comment by karyn on December 16, 2005 9:07 am

    Might you try FOOT lotion instead of HAND lotion? Regardless of brand or origin? I’m just saying. Or Vaseline even. Or Eucerin. You don’t have to go fancy, although it does make it nicer. (Clinique’s Body Butter. Divine.) I have wretched feet; I know of whence I speak on this.

    …when you don’t eat enough vegetables you get hangnails? See, I so thought you were going in another direction with that….

  11. Comment by Thom on December 17, 2005 1:50 am

    I completely understand your problem! I have a similar issue, in that my shins get so dry and itchy in the winter that it drives me crazy, to the point where I have trouble sleeping because of it. Now I swear by Aveeno lotion, the stuff with oatmeal in it. I use it on my legs and feet when they’re still damp from the shower, and I have no more problem at all with dryness.

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