My New Cocaine Habit – As Perceived by my Landlord
While I was home sick yesterday afternoon, my landlord’s wife and a contractor made a surprise visit to my apartment to following up on a maintenance request I had placed for my dishwasher. At the time, I was sprawled out lazily on my sofa after having devoured a cannoli* from Maria’s Bakery (the best canolli in the North End – she fills them with ricotta right in front of you, then sprinkles powdered sugar on top – MMMMMMMMMM),
Anyway, when they knocked on the door I immediately jumped up and put the cannoli’s wrapper in the brown bag it came in and went to the door to let them in. She and the plumber (or electrician?) were there for about 20 minutes or so and so I stayed with them in the kitchen chatting. My landlord’s wife seems very sweet and gave me loads of suggestions for her favorite butchers, produce stands and neighborhood restaurants. However, thoughout the conversation I noticed her sniffing and wiping her nose a lot. Being cold and flu season (and seeing as I was exhibiting some of the same symptoms), I thought nothing of it.
After they left, I returned to the sofa and rested more. A few hours later I got up to go to the bathroom. As I turned on the light and walked in, I looked in the mirror and noticed that I had powdered sugar caked onto the end of my nose, around the nostrils. Seeing as I finished he cannoli BEFORE my landlord’s wife arrived, she probably thinks I’m a raging cocaine addict. I mean, why else would I be home during the middle of the work day unless I was on a bender? Looking back, I’m guessing she didn’t have a cold after all. She was probably just hinting for me to wipe my nose.
In other local news, the Republican Party in Massachusetts has once again pissed me off. We have two more years until the next election (for Governor) and it is assumed that our Democrat Attorney General (O’Rielly) will run against the incumbent Republican, Mitt Romney. So what has the Republican Party done? They’ve bought up ALL the web domain names that O”Rielly might want, such as oriellyforgovernor.com, or orielly2006.com, etc… When the Governor was interviewed on the news about it, he couldn’t remove that shit-eating grin off his face as he proclaimed that he had nothing to do with it, but that he was proud of his party for doing it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d be equally pissed off if the Democratic Party did it – it just seems like dirty politics to me. But I find it ironic coming from the Governor who was so determined to eliminate dirty politics and wasteful spending. What a joke.
*I know cannoli probably isn’t the healthiest thing to eat when you’re sick. In my defense, it is a comfort food. Does that count? Besides, I had oatmeal, orange juice and a banana for breakfast so it all balances out.
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Karl, you may have invented something for people who want a very quick sugar high–snorting Italian pastries. I’ll be watching what goes on at South End dinner parties in the next couple of months. 🙂
Of course, if you stayed out sick, how were you well enough to travel outside to pick up these canolis.
Oh and I won’t support you as a friend if you have a coke habit…….:) A canolihead
Hey, David!
Actually, it was only one cannoli (singular). And the bakery is just around the corner from my apartment. I was actually heading out to get fruit (which is healthy)…but I had to pass Maria’s to get there and the next thing you know, I’m snorting powdered sugar.
You sound like Patsie in all the AbFab episodes where Eddie’s trying to tell her to wipe the coke off her nose…
Be one heck of a sugar high if you snorted that stuff though.
cannoli= coke straw?
is this the beginning of your nightmare descent into booze and pills? is this a subtly veiled cry for help?
it does sound like a scene from a movie though. make sure your landlord isnt snooping through your apt when your not around, looking for your “stash”!
Thank you for the info. http://www.bignews.com