The Harsh Realities of Charm
It’s Monday and I’m back at work after a very busy weekend. Since leaving work at 2PM on Thursday, I picked up the keys to my new apartment, bought a new computer, packed up the remaining items at the condo, moved, shopped for remaining necessities, unpacked, went to class, unpacked more, assembled furniture (LOTS of it), went to the Boston Gay Men’s Chorus with my friend, David, shopped for more household necessities and unpacked some more. OH, and I had lunch with my other David friend yesterday.
I’m exhausted. I was very nearly tempted to take a mental health day today, but realized I needed to access my work computer and fax machine because of a computer class assignment and some condo-related legal documents I need to fax. Maybe later this week.
Anyway, the move went well despite the torrential rain. It only took 2 hours for the movers to clear out the old place and deliver my things to the new place. Now that I’ve spent a few nights in the new place, here’s what I’ve discovered:
1 – I now recall why I opted not to live in charming buildings for the past few years. Although the unit was surface cleaned well enough (painted walls, mopped floors, cleaned sinks, etc…) – the insides of things remained untouched. One kitchen cabinet was full of electrical outlet plates (probably upwards of 30 of them). Other cabinets had cereal crumbs spilled all over them (I do see this as a good sign that there isn’t a cockroach problem since there would be no crumbs left if there were roaches). The window sills were clean, but the window tracks (I guess that’s what you call it) were quite dusty. Luxury buildings tend to do a better job at prepping a unit for new tenants (usually).
2 – I now recall why I never liked exposed brick…being able to hear the neighbors. It’s not to the point of them sounding as if they’re in the room, but any excitable talk is clearly audible. I’m thinking I’ll skip town on New Years Eve and during the Super Bowl. Also, the floors creak when my upstairs neighbors walk about. I do have left-over ear plugs from Dusty’s puppy days so I’ll be putting them to good use until I get a white noise machine.
3 – Living alone can be lonely. I was fortunate enough this weekend to have dinner plans and tickets to the Gay Men’s Chorus on Saturday night (fun, but not as fun as previous shows). And on Sunday I went shopping in the Back Bay with a friend. Those activities definitely helped me transition into living alone by not being, well, alone. But, like Matt said in his blog, there are just so many reminders: a piece of furniture, a photograph, a knick-knack, a song…even a tv show! For example, last night Dateline NBC was interviewing the entire cast of “Meet the Fockers”. Since it’s starring Barbra Streisand, it immediately made me think of Matt and I had to call him to let him know about it. I was let down when the call went into voicemail.
Anyway, the transition is a bit rougher than I had expected. In ways it feels like I’m being pulled in two directions. There is a certain level of excitement competing with a stronger sense of sorrow. Saying good bye to Matt on Saturday was very difficult. We hugged for the first time since our break up in October and I simply did not want to let go. I find myself absent-mindedly gazing at an empty wall thinking about what used to be. Most times I come back to reality to notice my eyes glassed over with tears. I was expecting to feel these emotions after the newness of living alone had worn off – but not this soon.
I also don’t think it helps that we’re in the middle of the Christmas season, the days are shorter, and it seems like we’ve not had a bright and sunny day since 1992.
HMMMM…this posting took more of a downturn than I had anticipated. But I guess that can be expected considering the circumstances. I’ll return to my normal cynical and bitter self for tomorrow’s posting.
8 Comments
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Hey Karl….give it some time, living alone can be lonely…but it can also be LOVELY! You will begin to cherish your ‘Karl’ time sequestered in your comfy surroundings (you will be comfy by then) and look forward to such quiet times. Can’t wait to see your place!
Hey, I cry a ton every time I move, and I’m *not* ever moving out of living with a long-term partner. Big changes can make reflective people sad – and it’s not a bad thing. And while I don’t think I’d like living alone, I don’t think it would have to be lonely either. If you meet and end up liking your neighbors it could make it easier not to get annoyed at the sounds overflowing from their apartment, and you could make new friends in the new building… Plus, while it takes a little extra planning, you have plenty of friends who can come keep you company :D.
babydoll, youll be more than OK when you settle into your new home and routine. put some christmas lights up in the window, decorate your tree, invite your friends over for a christmas apartment-warming evening involving cake and coffee and your fave christmas movie. invite the neighbors too, its a great way to meet them.
no hibernating
Uggh!
Turn that frown upside down!
At least you could have given Chad a shout out!!—-in your reveiw:)
<sniff>
Chad! That was no slight to you. You did an amazing piano playing job. And the chorus did a fabulous job singing! I guess I’m just a walking stereotype and enjoy when it gets camped up in the second half!
we can share some rocky road ice cream and in the morn pick ourselves up and move on
Am finally catching up on your entries. Sorry to read about what happened of late. It’s difficult times for you, especially during the holidays. Doing something good for yourself this Christmas like buy something you’ve always wanted, and then tell us all about it! 🙂 It’ll cheer you up babe.
Time heals, yet some people don’t. But I know you will cuz you shine in all your pictures. Take great care of yourself Karl…
XOXO!