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Why You Be Hatin’?

Wow. My blog posting yesterday seemed to have sparked a lot of controversy. I mentioned that I planned on staying with Matt for a week before my apartment was ready. I didn’t go into much detail, but so many people asked why I’m doing that so I figured I owed an explanation today:

Matt is moving this Thursday. I don’t move until the following Friday. Since Matt is buying me out of the existing furniture and my new furniture is being delivered to the new place after I move in, I would be stuck in our current condo with no furniture for a full week. I’m not physically moving in with Matt for the week. All of my belongings will remain in the condo until the movers pick them up a week later. I’ll just bring over a week’s worth of clothes. I just don’t see the point in sleeping on a hardwood floor with no amenities when I could stay at Matt’s place on actual furniture. Especially since we had both agreed from the beginning that we would make this transition as easy/comfortable for us as possible.

Yet I received countless comments to this blog, as well as some irate emails from people telling me to move on, start a new life, sever ties, etc… Then I got home from class last night and Matt said the two most important people in his life did the same thing when they found out I was staying at his place. Actually, they were even more livid – they were fuming and bad-mouthing me like I was Osama Bin Laden and I had killed their entire extended family…and a kitten.

I don’t get it. I mean, Matt and I don’t hate each other. I’m helping him move and he’s helping me move the following week. We’re planning on keeping in touch. There is no animosity. As for snipping the metaphoric umbilical cord that binds us together, what’s another 7 days after 10 YEARS? We’re not holding on to a glimmer of hope that things will work out by staying together for an extra week. We’re preventing me from having a sore back and a bad night’s sleep in the echo-chamber that would be our empty condo.

On the plus-side, it makes me feel good to know that so many people are concerned for my (and Matt’s) well-being that they got so worked-up over it.



  1. Comment by jeff on November 30, 2004 11:04 am

    Sounds pretty rational to me. If I slept on a hardwood floor, I wouldn’t be able to tie my shoes the next morning.

    Plus, like you said – a few days on top of 10 years isn’t going to make or break anything.

  2. Comment by John on November 30, 2004 11:20 am

    I recommend not taking advice from people who read your blog. (Oops… I won’t think about that one too hard.) But then I spend a week in P-town with my ex, so maybe I’m damaged goods.

  3. Comment by Erica on November 30, 2004 1:08 pm

    Ah, now it makes more sense. Maybe it was just a wording problem… now I get it that you’re not *moving* twice, just visiting in Matt’s new place til yours is ready rather than being in the weird, surreally deserted and comfortable-furniture-less old condo. THAT makes perfect sense.

    And for the record, a big fat PFTHBBBT to the people who think you two shouldn’t stay friends, or stay close. After all this time together, it’d be a shame if you didn’t at least try to stay friendly.

  4. Comment by Jen on November 30, 2004 1:52 pm

    I’m confused. I don’t see ‘countless’ comments on the issue, and the few (3 or 4?) that I do see are pretty mild. Must be the email that’s hateful.

    Either way, nobody has any business telling you or Matt that the one week arrangment is out of line. Like you said, what’s 7 days after 10 years?

  5. Comment by Karl on November 30, 2004 2:34 pm

    thanks, Jen! My sentiments exactly.

  6. Comment by Chad on November 30, 2004 10:39 pm

    I support you 100 percent – trust me – I know EXACTLY what it is like to be in your situation –

  7. Comment by Thom on November 30, 2004 10:47 pm

    I think that the two of you are handling the situation in a very rational and mature way. Where is the law that says that ending a relationship can’t be amicable? It just goes to show that you need to do what is right for you and ignore what other people have to say about it… and it’s also amazing how people feel so free to offer their opinions without ever being asked!

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