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When Did “The Valley” Come to Boston?

So I was riding my scooter into Boston yesterday for a doctor’s appointment. As I was approaching the end of the Longfellow Bridge I was riding in the bike lane – a perfectly legal thing to do, especially since the Registry of Motor Vehicles considers a scooter a “motorized bike” and specifically states on the registration form that you’re allowed to use bike lanes on roads (just not onย bike paths that are off-road).

Anyway, I was stopped at the light at Charles Circle behind some other bicycles when I heard what could have been Moon Unit Zappa behind me:

“You know, bike lanes aren’t meant for scooters.”

Actually, it doesn’t translate well on the screen. It’s all about the inflection. She said it as a statement versus a question, but still stressed the last word. Specifically, the last syllable of the last word: “ers.”

So, it sounded more like:

“You kno-ow, bike lanes aren’t meant for scooo-TERS?!.”

My response was simple: “Um, yes they are,”

Hers? “No they’re not.”

Mine? “Trust me. Look it up.”

Then, the classic valley response from her:

“Whatever.”

Again, it’s all about inflection. It was more:

“What – everrrrr.”

Meanwhile, my mind is thinking, “bitch, mind your own business” (spoken like a contestant on Ru Paul’s Drag Race).

The light turned green and I revved forward, secretly hoping I was spewing noxious fumes in her tight, bitter face.

Does that make me a bad person?

5 Comments

  1. Comment by Randy on July 28, 2010 10:21 am

    No it makes you lazy you never bike and prefer to use your 1800 dollar korean or taiwanese scooTER. he he

  2. Comment by Melody on July 28, 2010 10:47 am

    No you aren’t a bad person I probably would have said “Bitch, mind your own business”.

    As to Randy’s comment since you HAVE your 1800 dollar scooter you might as well use it because if you didn’t then it would just be a waste of money. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Comment by Candy on July 28, 2010 4:21 pm

    Not at all. She should have mind her own business. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Comment by jeffrey dawley on July 28, 2010 5:41 pm

    I ride my 150 in the bike lane when traffic is bad, now that is illegal. Don’t feel bad, she started it.

  5. Comment by Mark on July 30, 2010 8:32 am

    It might be a waste of money not to ride your $1800 scooter, but then you wouldn’t be wasting money on gas, you wouldn’t be polluting the environment, and you’d be doing something good for your body. So in the long run you’d SAVE money.

    Oh wait. Didn’t you tell me you don’t exercise? ๐Ÿ™‚

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