Guantanamo Hilton

Apparently, Paris Hilton can’t be kept in the county jail because it a threat to her and the other inmates, and a temptation to the jail employees. The sheriff was reduced to strip searching all guards, maintenance people, delivery guys, lawyers and visitors, looking for cell phones, given the six-figure bounty on authentic pictures of Paris in jail being offered by several celebrity web sites.

In addition, it was getting tense with the jail and courthouse under siege and surrounded by dozens of video vans, satellite uplink antennas, and hundreds of intrepid reporters, accosting anyone coming or going who may have had a hint of a sniff of a clue as to how the poor girl is doing.

The solution is simple, according to son Gabriel. Move her to Guantanamo! Let the Paparatzi try to get to her there!

Certainly Paris herself can’t complain about three weeks in the sunny Caribbean, at an exclusive government retreat, 3-squares a day and plenty of exercise (see aerobics class photo above). No distractions, do photo ops, and no danger to her or the other inmates. Plus, from what we hear the other prisoners down there could use some cheering up. She could even join an Islamic study circle or a hunger strike, if she is so inclined. Seems like a no-brainer.

For readers who just can’t get enough of Paris in Jail, we present “The Prision Life: Paris” from the GSN game site, in which you help Paris keep up with the demands of prision life. Click on the speaker icon to nix the annoying music.