Female-Only Spam

My ignorance of what is euphemistically known as the fair sex is exceeded only by the abject failure of all of the stratagems I have developed over the years to remedy that ignorance. So let me take advantage of the relative anonymity of this forum to broach a few questions to any hypothetical female readers out there.

Is there a female equivalent to the flood of penile augmentation advertising which so persistently manages to evade the concerted efforts of the legions of white-hat wizards madly designing email filters and anti-spamming software? Are spammers at least sophisticated enough to sort recipients by male-female names, or have access to “One Million Guaranteed Women’s Email Addresses” mailing lists? What kind of spam is out there directed specifically at women?

I apologize for having to ask, but I wonder about things like this. My wife only reads her email when I am out of the house or taking a shower or nap. I suspect her of being an agent of a foreign government. (Note to Terrorist Information Awareness folks and Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services: This is a joke. Can’t be too careful these days.) I would ask my female lawyer students, but worry about sexual harassment suits. They are, after all, lawyers.

One of the reasons I wonder about this is that I imagine very few of you are much interested in the penile product ads we guys get, except maybe as comic relief or confirmation of the innate superiority of your sex. If only a tiny fraction of the guys who get these ads respond, the return rate from gals must be infintesimal. Have smart(?) marketeers found a female equivalent with which to dun dames?

So what’s the story. women? Does your mailbox burst with Ads for Breast Enlargement, Breast Reduction, Breast Reshaping and Breast Stiffening products? Are you pitched 1001 varieties of female Viagra, made from everything from crushed guaranteed legitimate imported Viagra pills to time-release esters of enriched rhinoceros horn? Are you drowning in spam for the same sort of sex aids, escort services, “femininity enhancers” and guides to the Secrets of Mesmerizing the Opposite Sex which hound us guys? Or is it just me? Inquiring minds need to know….