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 Unlike the oil-fueled Frankenstein that is the modern
state of Iraq, the ancient empire of Babylonia and its capital city of
Babylon, famed for its incomparable hanging gardens and hated by right-thinking
Rastas
everywhere,
has
a long and storied history.
Babylon,
correctly called (apologies to Ricky Ricardo) Babilu, was the "holy
city" of ancient Babylonia from 2300 BC,
and then capital of the Neo-Babylonian Empire from 612 BC. It was near
the modern Iraqi city of Al Hillah, about 60 miles south of Baghdad,
and was coincidentally chosen as the 1st US Marine Division headquarters
and as a major helicopter base during the invasion and occupation of
Iraq in 2003.
Is anyone worried about the damage to the archeological
record and the world’s cultural heritage? Well, that’s why they call
them RUINS……
BABYLON, Iraq – In this ancient city, it is hard to tell
what are ruins and what’s just ruined.
Crumbling brick buildings, some 2,500 years old, look like smashed sand
castles at the beach. Famous sites, like the Tower of Babel and the Hanging
Gardens, are swallowed up by river reeds.
Signs of military occupation are everywhere, including trenches, bullet
casings, shiny coils of razor wire and blast walls stamped, "This
side Scud protection."
Babylon, the mud-brick city with the million-dollar name, has paid the
price of war. It has been ransacked, looted, torn up, paved over, neglected
and roughly occupied. Archaeologists said American soldiers even used
soil thick with priceless artifacts to stuff sandbags.
But Iraqi leaders and United Nations officials are not giving up on it.
They are working assiduously to restore Babylon, home to one of the Seven
Wonders of the World, and turn it into a cultural center and possibly
even an Iraqi theme park.
from the New York Times
This is a great example of thinking outside the
box, but fails to go nearly far enough. The Dowbrigade has for years
maintained
that the only hope to break the bloody impasse in the Middle East is
to turn the entire region, or at least the Metro Jerusalem area, into
non-denominational theme park. What could be more appropriate and promising
for the cradle
of
human
civilization
and the ancestral stomping grounds of three of the all-time greatest
religion to be converted to a magic kingdom dedicated to tolerance, godliness,
having fun and making money?
And it’s right and our right, to be able to take our kids to Bethlehem, or the Stations of the Cross, or Masada, or the Dome of the Rock, without worrying about getting blown up.
All areas, shrines and events must be open to all,
but each religion will be responsible for maintaining and administering
its
own attractions; the Christians in Manger Square (big crowds for Xmas),
the Jews at the Wailing Wall, the Muslims at the Dome of the Rock. While
the respective governments will probably want to keep the income from
admissions to the actual sites and events, there would be plenty of ancillary
income streams for ordinary citizens, like food, hotels, souvenirs,
guides, reenactment actors,translators, child care professionals and
entertainment industry workers of all kinds, according to the rules,
taboos and predilections of each religion. There would be work for those
unfortunate individuals of all religions afflicted with the infamous
"Jerusalem Complex", who could earn a living and feed their fantasies
by walking around pretending to be Moses, Jesus, Judas or Muhammad Ali.
Probably, one of the first potential conflicts could
be whether the Big Three world religions could claim exclusivity, and
freeze
out other legitimate religions, who would certainly try to turn it into
Religions of the World World Fair. Should the powers that be allow in
Buddhists, Hindu’s or even Scientologists? How about a few Earth mother
animists to work in the time honored traditon of the temple prostitutes
of old? Would this endanger the Family-friendly standard of the enterprise as a whole?
Of
course, the absolute overarching rule must be No Weapons, No Violence,
No Hatred. Non-denominational metal detectors at every entrance
to the "Holy Zone". Not only no guns, but no blades that could
cut a hot dog. Jews would have to perform the bris elsewhere. No hate speech,
signs, music or T-shirts allowed.
This is essential because once it is established that the
Holy Land is once again safe and Family-friendly, we believe it will
become the greatest tourist attraction the world has ever seen. And just
in time – if the world ever needed a living reminder that we can all
live together under the aegis of a merciful and loving God, it is now.
Hopefully, the God Zone tourists will not spend
all their time in the areas controlled by their own particular religion.
Families
will start to venture out for a little Comparative REligion tourism,
visiting shared or typical attractions pf the other religions, building
understanding and tolerance across cultural lines.
Think of it! The social calendar would be full,
fur every day of the year must be a holiday in some sect of one of
the three religions . Tourists
and pilgrims could go at any time of the year, and be sure of catching
some beautiful and important ceremonies. It would be the ultimate marketplace
of ideas and schlock – theories and postulations, tchotckeys and souvenirs.
For those who object to the crass commercial callowness
of this plan, let us just remind that the commercialization of Christ,
the Wailing Wall and the legacy of Mohammed is as old as their respective
religions themselves. Whether it be the wholesale sale of authentic
pieces of the cross, , the search for the Ark of the Covenant, or ancient
reliquaries with dung from the camel Mohammed rode in on, religion has
been big business since the beginning. Nobody know this better
than the established churches, which is the only reason this whole plan
has a prayer.
So can we all get behind this plan? A Holy Land
theme park, with well-lit, handicapped accessible Biblical attractions,
multi-lingual
signage, first-class facilities for pilgrimages of any size, length and
religious affiliation,
a fantastic assortment of restaurants in conformity with the diverse
dietary laws of all major sects, stripped of weapons and hatred, and
dedicated to worshiping, learning, scholarship, family entertainment,
having fun in the sun, and fostering cross-cultural and inter-religious
detente.
Nothing else seems to have worked, over the past 4,000
years. Maybe it’s time to think outside the Book.
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