Ersatz Rock, Mr. Bond

MOSCOW – Russia’s main intelligence agency on Monday
accused four British diplomats of spying _ using electronic equipment
hidden inside a fake rock in
a park _ as well as funneling funds to non-governmental organizations.

The announcement came a day after state television channel Rossiya broadcast
footage purportedly showing four British Embassy staff using electronic
equipment concealed in the rock in Moscow to receive intelligence from
Russian agents.Rossiya said the diplomats had downloaded information
onto handheld computers from the electronic gadget hidden in the rock,
a process that worked at a distance of up to 65 feet and took only one
or two seconds.

Among the diplomats named in the television broadcast were Marc Doe and
Paul Crompton. Both are listed in British Embassy directories provided
to the media as working in the embassy’s political section. Interfax identified
the two others as Andrew Fleming and Christopher Pirt, but they weren’t
in the directories.

Doe, Crompton, Fleming and Pirt! John LeCarre couldn’t
have come up with more perfect spy guy names. And rocks with ears! "Q"
would be proud. Or maybe not, considering the ensuing scandal. It’s
nice to see that Her Majesty’s Secret Service, like its American cousins,
is continuing the post-WWII tradition of labyrinthine bungling and lack,
not so much of intelligence, but rather of common sense. We hear the
CIA uses extremely realistic dog turds, with DuPont-developed pheromones
designed
to discourage
investigation. Inadvertent disposal, however, can be a problem.

As to the "Fake Rock", the Dowbrigade had exactly
the same model 25 years ago, except it cost $7.95 and was called "Super
Secure Stash"….

from AP