In his ever expanding drive towards global dominance, Bill Gates and Microsoft are constantly searching for new worlds to conquer. According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, Microsoft has signed an agreement to design, fund and construct a revolutionary new high school, in conjunction with the Philadelphia Public Schools, from the ground up, including everything from interactive digital textbooks and computerized tablets to electronic play diagrams for the basketball team created by those ingeneous engineers in Redmond, Washington.
Think of the branding opportunities! Not only will the students be completely anchored in the Windows world, weaned on Word, exercized on Excel and proficient in Power Point, they can also serve the Corporation as a test market for the next genreation of Microsoft products.
School uniforms will be the new fall line of “Microsoft Togs”, featuring microfibers and smart fabrics that helpfully change color during the day to remind students of which period it is. The cafeteria will serve exclusively “Microsoft Meals”, composed of recycled, enriched, genetically enhanced and thoroughly irradiated lunches prepackaged on selfheating disposable trays. After school students will be able to participate in Microsoft supported supplemental activities like the Microsoft Future Software Designers Club, the Bill Gates Self-Serving Social Services Club, and the Anything-older-than-last-year Used Computer Recycling Drive.
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