Siliceous and Delicious

Beau

Last Weeks’ Deliverables

(1) Methods chapter writeup

Finished it, sent out, Larry got back and said it was good, couldn’t be much clearer. Mike never commented on anything (no surprise), Dawn wrote insane email. Basically a complete. Beau checked email on a Sunday night, had meltdown. Emailed Larry and Mike, can’t handle this type of critique. MIT policies and procedures covers verbal harassment, under which Dawn’s behavior falls. Larry said Beau is entitled to remove her from the committee. Because Dawn is just a reader, removing her is easy (no repeat of colloquium). Options: Jim Westcott (Prof. of Islamic Architecture, but originally an engineer), knows all the people Beau works with. Met with him a week later, yesterday after no word from Mike emailed him directly — agreed to be on committee. Suggested a few changes in lit. review, but no word on areas Dawn was hypercritical of. Relief!

For Beau, this puts the nail in the coffin for academia — this sort of behavior has no consequences. Frustrating. Takes so long to resolve. Done now, though, and past caring. Only thing that matters now is graduating. Completely shut down email for a week for the first time in years. Stressful anxiety over not knowing. Relief now that it’s worked out.

(2) Finish CSU model

Next 3 weeks will be getting that done. Once all the changes are made, will need some runtime debugging (1-2 weeks). No biggie if it’s not working smoothly by the time of the meeting.

Now making good progress. Simplified a lot. Ironically, Dawn is getting what she wants in some ways — the best thing she said is to simplify things as much as possible. Now working towards early November workshop with CSU professors. Go through model bit by bit to see where he’s off / on target, esp. from the agricultural simulation side. Then start to simulate things in December, write up in Spring. Gotten into habit of not thinking more than four weeks ahead. Beau says he’s used up his “last life” on this. Spent a lot of years not seeing Gran, need to get something for it. Need to graduate. Dawn has destroyed any sense Beau had that the project was any good. Hard to remember that it has any validity. Beau still working on Reclamation consulting project. Economists elicit visceral diatribe response now… Nice distraction in any case. New coding philosophy: code as long as it takes to get to 5:30 pm, then you’re done. Whatever doesn’t get done gets deleted, and a little note made to justify the decision. Good philosophy! Indicator of Beau’s project status: was able to finish 20-minute presentation slot at group meeting in 8 minutes.

Ben

Sample collection in Australia: collected a big piece of shale. Much of it was silicified and so unlikely to be useful. Difficult to collect big samples from core. Replacement structures in sample – will work with JC to see what other fossils can be obtained. Radiolarian project: need to start getting going on this, get some samples. Zoe F project: last minute job… she ended up writing most of it. Contributed some paragraphs and a figure or two. Will be an author on it. Probably submitted to journal by now. No more contributions on this, apart from working with Zoe on revisions. Sample prep: started crushing and dissolution process, but had to go to Aus. Will pick up where he left off. Needs to process many dozens more by the spring. Needs to go through the list of papers and writing off to people and getting some samples. May still need to get to Ohio – a couple of trips, to do some more detailed work as per Andy’s request. Need to put samples in sedimentological and geological context – requires a little more attention.

Going away gave Ben some perspective. Some consolation in seeing that JC’s work is full of just as many dead-ends and challenges. Kind of inspiring to see the way she adapted. Helped Ben to not feel so stressed out about it. So much of lack of progress is tied up in feeling bad about it. Nice to get some distance and realize that it doesn’t matter if things are not “up to standards”, etc. Burden of personal history on this. Also a reminder that doing the work can be a lot of fun! Put Ben in touch with the science.

Deliverables

One major goal: get bearings, recover from jet lag and come up with a plan to carry through Christmas.

Reflections from Beau

You seem in great shape, particularly given the hellish experience you had coming home… It also seems that the time away was very productive in a non-traditional sense. There’s nothing like achieving a sense of perspective. Just as many of your comments have helped me to recognize better the value of taking time away from work, I think your wanderlust gives you space to breathe and think. It’s quite an achievement to get that paper published, regardless of how little you think you might have contributed (and I’m always suspicious when you say that, anyway, since I’m sure you put in more than your fair share). Make sure to pat yourself on the back for that! Now that you’re back and determined to make some headway – newly emboldened by the realization that no, you’re not expected to get things right first time and that everyone else is in the same boat – I look forward to tracking your progress!