Yes, Really
posted in Weighty Issues |We were discussing diets in my office the other day, as we often do, when I mentioned I’ve been doing Weight Watchers on and off for the last couple of years. One of the very nice, super-skinny secretaries gasped in a flattering manner and said, “You don’t need to lose any weight! What are you, [redacted] pounds? (citing a range ten to fifteen pounds lighter than my actual weight).”
I froze, looking like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights. Panic. Someone had blatantly asked my weight? What to do? What to do?
Swiftly thinking (not), I mumbled, “Um, actually, I weigh [redacted].”
The aforementioned secretary blinked once before blurting out, “No, really?”
“Yes.”
“Well, maybe you have heavy bones.”
Later on in the day, I recounted this conversation to JP1, complete with redactions.
JP1: So what do you really weigh?
Me: I’m not going to tell you! And stop right there, I can tell you’re going to guess. That is never a good idea.
JP1: You look about my wife’s size.
Me: Um, is this the wife you mentioned is chubby?
JP1: Yes.
Me: You realize I’m going to tell everyone in the office you’ve called me fat, right?
JP1: I’ve put my foot in my mouth again, haven’t I?
Me: Yes.