韩寒：历史上最爱放烟花的办公室主任
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韩寒：历史上最爱放烟花的办公室主任
很欣慰，北京的公安机关经过调查，央视大楼着火原因并不是神秘自燃，也不是附近居民烟花误伤或者临时工在楼里吸烟，是中央电视台自己礼花玩，把自己给点了。令人难过的是，消防员张建勇为此付出了年轻的生命，要不然这事就成了喜剧了。
后来央视出面道歉，说是因为某办公室的主任未经上级批准，违规燃放烟花所致。
于是，历史上最爱放烟花的办公室主任出现了。这将近百万元的由电脑控制的礼花，同时有数台摄像机在拍摄的一个行为，居然是一个办公室主任自己干的。未经上级批准那肯定就是他自费放的了，或者说，在央视，某办公室燃放百万元的烟花是不需要经过批准的，这CASE太小了。
很明显不是这样的，当然是更大的领导希望，责任到这个办公室主任就打住了，你就安心的坐牢去吧，兄弟，放心，你的父母我们会赡养的，你的儿女我们会抚养的，你的老婆我们会包养的。 Continue reading
No laughing matter: a hilarious investigation into the destruction of modern Chinese humor
by David Moser
Americans seeing it on Chinese TV for the first time usually have the same reaction: “Chinese stand-up comedy!” And indeed, the surface similarity is striking: two performers stand up on a stage in front of a live audience and engage in rapid-fire humorous repartee, with their interaction following the tried-and-true formula of a “straight-man” acting as an exasperated foil to the muddle-headedness of an illogical clowner. One is reminded of the classic American comedy duos like Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, George Burns and Gracie Allen, or 60s TV acts like Rowan and Martin and the Smothers Brothers. The Chinese art is called xiangsheng (literally, “face and voice”), which is usually translated into English as “crosstalk”, and for most of the twentieth century this performance form was virtually synonymous with humor in China.
新木兰辞
成冬
吧唧复吧唧,小囝抱瓶吸。不闻啼哭声,唯闻母叹息。问母何所思,问母何所忆? 母亦无所思,母亦无所忆。昨夜看银屏,奶品大排名:毒奶十亿袋,袋袋有聚氰！夫妻三旬过,独子巧乖灵,突然急病患,疑似结石生！
东市听凶险,西市把夫搬,南市良医寻,北市去借钱。连夜排长队,冻饿道路边。不闻稚儿欢笑声,但闻同病群体哭一片。煌煌医院大,累累众人头,不闻稚儿欢笑声,满目童叟医护把心揪。万里查祸首,毒情报若飞。怒气传网络,寒光照血衣。宁我百次死,换儿健康归……
归来见黄榜,黄榜有名堂。免检七八载,粉饰百千强。专家答所欲,民众不用太惊慌;日饮乳品三升半,营养又健康。
爷娘闻奶来,变色扶门框;阿姊闻奶来,浇花阳台窗;小弟闻奶来,磨刀霍霍向奸商。环球清“国祸”,“世卫”叹炎凉,“友好”不给脸,“金牌”算泡汤。李局辞官准,田董坐班房,网上众马甲,马甲亦惊忙:特供数十年,难保三聚氰胺也入肠?
国检勤谄媚,CC更痴迷,科技银奖授,更多黑幕待揭皮！
Crazy Stone (2006)
Farewell My Concubine (1993)
In the Heat of the Sun (1995)
Platform (2000)
Mahjong (1996)
Shaolin Temple (1982)
Maybe to add some cartoon movies:
Baby Tadpoles Look for Their Mother (1960);
The Monkey King (1964).
The following two are just for fun. In 2005 Chen Kaige shot Wuji, which cost a huge amount of money but turned out to be a really crappy one. A netizen used some of his movie clips to make a humorous story named A Story of Murder Originated from A Piece of Bread, and then posted it on internet. The latter, aimed at making fun of Wuji, got millions of clicking from China and abroad. Chen was mad at the netizen and even threatened him with a litigation.
Wuji (2005); and a response video
A Story of Murder Originated from A Piece of Bread (2005) (19 minutes)
These films demonstrates the power of Chinese propaganda:
The Great Decisive War I, II, and III (1991).
You can find all these movies by simply copying and googling them. Enjoy, my friends.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251160/trailers-screenplay-E15785-10-2
This is an incredible movie.
I just need to tell you a few things. You always listen to your mother. You understand? Do what she tells you to do. She’s your best friend. You tell her you love her every day.
You’re too young for girls right now, but… there’s going to come a time. When it does, you treat them like princesses. ‘Cause that’s what they are.
When you say you’re going to do something… When you say you’re going to do something, you do it. Because your word is your bond, son. It’s all you have.
And money. You make money if you get a chance, even if you got to sell out once in a while. Make as much money as you can. Don’t be stupid like your father. Everything is so much easier with money, son.
Don’t smoke.
Be kind to people. When somebody chooses you… We talked about this. You stand up. You be a man.
You stay away from the bad things, son, please. Don’t get caught up in the bad things. There’s so many great things out there for you.
I’ll never leave you. I’m always with you. Right there. I love you, son.
讲故事
我念小学的时候,参加过一个讲故事比赛.
“我的同学王小毛给我留下 印象最深.王小毛上台讲了一个故事:
‘从前有个地主,生了两个儿子,大儿子生来好吃懒做,对穷人从来又打又骂,小儿子同情穷人.小儿子爱上了穷人的女儿,地主不同意他们的婚事,就把财产全留 给了大儿子,赶走了小儿子.大儿子从此变本加厉,对穷人越发凶残.小儿子变成了穷人,也被他的哥哥欺负.后来小儿子家里实在没吃的,就去求大儿子借粮食, 大儿子说:你要是赶走你的穷人妻子,我就借给你粮食.小儿子想,没有粮食,两个人都得饿死.就把妻子赶走了.大儿子反悔,粮食也不借了.小儿子和他原来的 妻子就都饿死了.’
大家瞪着眼睛等下文,王小毛说:’故事讲完了‘.老师说:’一定是你没有看完书,故事不应该完.”王小毛肯定地说:”故事就到这里.’
老师很惋惜地说:’这个孩子真不诚实,明明没有讲完故事,还一定说讲完了.王小毛这个月的诚实小红花得不到了, 你们小组得第一也没希望了.’
我的故事讲完了.”
1. shows
The best memory of Off-Broadway show is A Stone Carver.
The son of an old stone carver, a recent local political star, has to persuade his stubborn father move out of the old house for the new free way. The old man refuses to talk to anyone about moving out from the house, which is built by him and bears the memory of his late wife. The son brought with his girlfriend back the house in the last day to have the last try.
The people in this show are amazing. The old father, especially, plays very convincingly. His love for the late wife and his family, though hard to understand by people from outside, is genuine, deep and touching.
2. movies
Besides Cars, I like a movie from free screening whose name I do not remember.
The story is about a young man commits suicide and enters into a suicide people’s world. To his disapointment, it is as dull as the world he is coming from. He works as a pizza boy during the day. At night he goes to bar, only talking to people about differnent types of suicide. Fantasying his girlfriend becomes his only comfort.
One day he feels that she is coming to the same world and then decides to venture out to find her. So he begins the journy with a friend. They meet a girl looking for “the man in charge” during the trip, and have her join them. The young man falls in love with the girl after spending so much time together and finding her virtues.
After several days of road trip, they meet an old man drunk on the road. The old man takes them to his camp, where miracles happen everyday. The young man find his girl friend during staying in the camp, when she comes with her spiritual tutor. He goes to her but she does not care. She believes in the spiritual guy, follows him jumping from a high wall, and dies.
The young man feels sad. What’s more, the girl looking for “the man in charge” left him mysteriously. He is left alone in this world. But he suddenly finds the old man is “the man in charge”, who helps the young man go back to the world.
When he wakes up in the hospital, he finds the girl looking for “the man in charge” with him in the suicide world is in the same room with him.
The movie’s style is similar to Big Fish: fascinating and fun. Obviously this one has a broader coverate of subjects such as the meaning life, love, and seeking a spiritual satisfaction, which provide it the potential to be a big hit in the future.
Andy Sachs (Anne Hathaway), a recent Northwestern University journalism grad went to a job interview millions of other girls would kill for: working at the elite fashion magazine Runway. After a few minutes sitting in the waiting area, she was surprised by finding out all employees there worked for an emperor-typed editor, Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep). Andy got this job. But she soon found out it torture for her. Miranda was never pleased, though poor Andy had tightened every muscle of hers.
With the help from a colleague, Andy realized the ultimate reason was her detached passion. As an Ivy grad, she never took the fashion industry seriously. It’s only “stuff” in her mind while all others embrace it heart and soul, though maybe only for money. Andy decided to change, turning 180 degrees to become a fashion girl.
Miranda let her perform increasingly impossible errands. She asked for the unfinished new Harry Potter manuscript for her twins, but Andy handled it easily and pleased her for the first time. She went to her role, fashionable, work-oriented and Miranda-slaved. She broke up with her boy friend, after many years of mad-love. Her friends left her.
Finally, Miranda told her she became one of them in the industry and had a promising future. Andy suddenly realized something wrong. She recalled her dream of life and left Miranda decidedly.
This movie is a delicate defense of the inequality and hierarchy, which it seems to oppose and fight back.
One scenario in the movie that makes the point evident is that a writer, who is also a suitor of Andy, questioned her why she made a 180 degree turn to defend Miranda. Andy was shocked, recalling her attitude of looking down to the fashion industry in the very beginning. What happened?
Well, Andy had changed during the long period of trying to please Miranda. Though it is true that Miranda caused her painful experience of adapting this job, she also gave her satisfaction. After all, this is a job a million girls will kill for, standing on the frontier of the fashion industry, working with a woman that ruling the whole fashion world. Andy defeated her old self, the one labeled the fashion work as “stuff”.
It is truly just “stuff”. But Andy changed her idea towards that stuff and believed it might have some value. What is the good of a 1,900$ purse or 1,000$ perfume? It is just the waste of money by people to display a higher status than others, which Thorstein Veblen coined the term “conspicuous consumption” to describe. Conspicuous consumption has become a form of addiction arising from consumerism, creating hedonic expectations among the population.
One may be disciplined to accept the status quo, or even to defend it. This is a vivid lesson.
Off-Broadway show: Room Service (Sunday, June 10)
Here is a NewYorkTime Review:
“Generally considered one of the funniest American plays of the 1930’s, Room Service centers around a slippery theatrical producer, trying to find a backer for his new show while holed up in a Times Square hotel with nineteen starving actors. Hoping to forestall eviction, he convinces the show’s gullible young playwright to fake his own death.”
Another story about greed, but way more funny than Burley Grum. Written in 1930s, a time of depression, it bears an obvious feature of satire and ambitiousness. It seems to me people back at that time were ready to laugh when they see the plots of some clever guy are hatched and turn out to be very successful.
Today’s Show: Wedding Singer
Here is a review that attracted my interest to see it.
The music in the movie was a terrific collection of 80s songs. The music for the show is original to the musical except for Somebody Kill Me and Grow Old With You (which were written by Adam Sandler and Tim Herligy for the movie). However the original music stays true to the sound of the 80s and the lyrics are fun. (At intermission I went to the lobby to buy the soundtrack, but it hasn’t been recorded yet. They are playing to record it in the next few months.)