Lead, Kindly Light

There’s a catchy song by Avalon called “The Dreams I Dream For You” (listen to it on esnips here) – it’s sung from the perspective of God, as He might speak to His children. The lyrics are below –

You taste the tears
You’re lost in sorrow
You see your yesterdays
I see tomorrow

You see the darkness
I see the spark
You know your failures
But I know your heart

The dreams I dream for you
Are deeper than the ones you’re clinging to
More precious than the finest things you knew
And truer than the treasures you pursue
Let the old dreams die
Like stars that fade from view
Then take the cup I offer
And drink deeply of
The dreams I dream for you

You see your shame
But I see your glory
You’ve read one page
I know the story

I hold a vision
That you’ll become
As you grow into the truth
As you learn to walk in love

Let the old dreams die
Like stars that fade from view
Then take the cup I offer
And drink deeply of
The dreams I dream for you

Today God gave us a very lovely day weather-wise. It was somewhere between 50 and 60 degrees (F), and especially after the near-zero temps that we’d had just last week, today’s sunshine and breeze felt like a warm and fresh hug from heaven. It looked and felt like spring, and I felt God’s compassion on all of us in this town through His grant of such a beautiful day.

My spirits were lifted, and I found that there was a new spring in my step as I wandered about town accomplishing various tasks throughout the day. In the past week I had been contemplating my deeper cynicisms that developed as a result of various events in the last year/couple of years.

I’ve noted a strange juxtaposition in my spiritual state. All at once, I believe very strongly in a loving and powerful God. I believe He is full of compassion and mercy and tenderness, and at the same time He is infinitely strong and capable of doing absolutely anything. In all of this, He is also holy – perfect and righteous, and He defines goodness, purity, justice, and love. That’s the God I believe in.

Yet at the same time, on semi-frequent occasions in the past few months, I have had trouble relating to God on a personal level. The Bible teaches that our God is a personal one, and He interacts with each human on an individual level. When we believe in Jesus, we enter into a personal relationship with Him – and in this way, any person who believes in Jesus can know Him and be personally known by Him. I get this – but sometimes it’s hard to feel like He is invested in my life.

Sometimes I have felt like my life is a futile effort. I can’t see how the puzzle pieces fit together. There have been beautiful triumphs in my life, but there have also been a significant number of deep disappointments, grave defeats, and desperate failures. There are choices that I regret, days I wish I hadn’t lived through, and wounds that still scar my spirit. It’s because of these things that I can certainly relate to the parts of the song that say, “You taste the tears / you’re lost in sorrow / you see your yesterdays… You see the darkness… you know your failures…” This is my view of life as of late – not all the time, but a lot of the time. I am less certain now than ever before that my life will, in the end, mean much at all.

Yet when I listen to this song, as I did today – and when I experience gifts of sunshine and warmth that seem to come out of nowhere (let’s be honest – since when has this city seen 60-degree weather in January?!) – I am reminded that it’s true that (as the song says) – the dawn will break sometime. Indeed, I have only read one page of my life, but God knows the story. I know my failures, but God knows my heart. I see all the hurts and pains of so many dark yesterdays, but God sees the spark in my tomorrows.

The key is to let go of the dreams that I have for myself, and let Him dream His dreams for me. His dreams must be better than mine. After all, He’s God, and I’m not!

In Jeremiah 33:3, God says, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” I’m thanking God for the reminder of that today – that when I call, He will answer. And He holds all the future, mine and everyone else’s, in His mighty hands and strength, and in His wisdom He can deliver each of His children (myself included!) to a place where they are fulfilling HIS purposes for their lives. If only we will seek His face, pursue His heart, run after Him, and obey.

So may it be.