f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

                                   Editor’s Note: “We’ve turned this post over to a celebrity

                                                         interplanetary weblogger — Marvin T. Martian.

 

orig.

 

The Alito Confirmation Hearings are over and I need to sum up quickly,

because my Flying Saucer is about to take off, and there aren’t enough 

hot spots in this part of the galaxy. 

 

The Constitution Drafting Committee of the Martian Transitional    “MarsR”

Government sent me here, to see how our Liberator, the United States,

chooses its most powerful judges.  Although I listened, typed and read 

all week, the elected Transitional Coalition back home wasn’t impressed,

and has already sent me on a new assignment.  They told me, quoting one

of my own favorite phrases: “back to the old drawing board.” 

 

Frankly, there were times during this Hearing when I wanted to use my

Acme Time-Space Gun on Senators from both sides of the aisle.  Still,

I learned a lot about the American judicial nomination process and might

as well “blog it” (such a euphonic phrase!).

  It might shock Earth Bloggers, but

their Martian colleagues — not being used to Free

Speech — merely report facts.  Commentary and

opinion are risky things, until we get a final Bill

of Rights installed.  Also, we never get snide nor

use irony.

After this hearing, I can say with some certainty,that the following factors 

are important in the Senate confirmation process for a Supreme Court

justice:

 

In the United States of America:

  even persons living in glass houses are allowed to throw

stones (and live under bridges, I think).

 

– even little girls can grow up to distort the truth as much as male

politicians do

 

                                                                                           

 

– even “very troubled” persons get to vote on Supreme Court violations 

[ed. note: Dr. Freud apparently got to Mars; Marvin meant “nominations”]

 

– even ardent people of Faith are tolerant of the little white lies used when

applying for a job

 

“specterLeahy”

 

– even really smart intellectuals say stuff like “super-duper“

 

– even friendly witnessses can be asked detailed, leading questions

all day long (and no stick-in-the-mud gets to say “ask and answered”)

 

                                                                                                 

 

– even appellate judges get to give fuzzy, circular, non-responsive answers

they would never accept from counsel in oral argument

From the Mean Stream Media and weblogs, I also learned some other

surprising things:

 It takes three to four times as many words (thousands of ’em)

to ask a question than to answer it 

 

orig.

 

Your party registration has a lot to do with your feelings

about Samuel Alito

 

Personal judicial and political philosophy are the same thing

as personal vendettas (according to one Public Intellectual).

 

Former law clerks really like it, when their judge gets to the

Supreme Court. 

Okay, I admit this list doesn’t help the Drafting Committee back home very 

much.  But is that my fault?  My weblogging career is being disintegrated as

I type — and all I did was tell it like I saw it.  As I recently said to my former Earth

foe, Bugs Bunny: “Being disintegrated makes me very angry. Very angry indeed.”

 

In an Instant Message this afternoon, the Committee Chair back in Marsilia wrote:

“This couldn’t possibly be how a Great Nation picks a member of its Highest Court. 

You might as well have gone to Uranus!” 

  That’s when he got the bright idea to actually send me to Uranus to cover their

congressional elections.  I should be back in time to see how you choose a President.

 

yours truly,

Marvin T. Martian 

 

 

 

alito [means breath]!

puffs from the right

huffs from the left

 

 

 

feminists

shudder —

alito

 

 

 

federalists

sigh —

alito

 

dagosan:  

 

 

 

 

Study windows frosted–

coffee dregs dried

in a chipped ceramic mug

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The long drive home–

stumps in the roadside forest

mounded with old snow

 

 

 

“PokerDogs”

 

 

 

 

A grey dawn–

last night’s poker cards

facedown on the table

 

 

Rebecca Lilly 

from Shadwell Hills (Birch Brook Press, 2002)  

 

                                                                                                                

                                                                                      Marvin images thanks to gargaro!       

 

 

“MarsG”

 

 

                    friday the 13th

                       the clang of the farrier’s

                            rounding hammer

 

ed markowski 

 

 

 

 

Friday evening

the chip shop counter

worn by small change 

    

     MATT MORDEN

        A New Resonance  (2001)

 

 

 

 

thirteen bagels —

we eschew
triskaidekaphobia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the panhandler

more persistent than ever —

Friday the 13th

 

dagosan 

 

 

p.s. To Honored Guest Poets:  Send in your

Friday the 13th haiku and senryu, please.

                                                                                                                 

 

I hope the unnamed Editor of Blawg Review has been following the 

discussion and debate regarding the new “Preventing Cyberstalking”

provision of the federal telecommunications act.  It was signed into law

last week and, on its face, makes it a crime for an anonymous person

to utilize

“any device or software that can be used to originate …  

communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part,

by the Internet . .  with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten,

or harass any person … who receives the communications.”

[section 113 of the new statute, amending 47 U.S.C. 223]

 

In brief, the new law appears to make anonymous, intentional annoyance 

of any person a crime, if done through the covered Internet devices. As

was predictable, there has been much squawking all around the blogiverse.

On Jan. 9, CNET’s Declan McCullagh shrieked: “Create an e-noyance, go

to jail.”  Although annoyed by the provision, Kurt at the EFF’s Deep Links

has a less stressful reaction (EFF strongly supports the right to post anony-

mously on weblogs)..  Prof. Orin Kerr at Volokh Conspiracy wants the blogi-

shpere to stop catastrophyzing; he points out that the provision cannot be

used against speech that is protected by the First Amendment.  His co-

Conspirator Eugene Volokh doesn’t think Kerr’s apporoach offers much

guidance to the public or to prosecutors, but is especially concerned over

taking a concept that was already shaky — banning annoying anonymous

communications that were one -to- one — and applying it to one -to- many

communications, such as websites. 

 

Prof. Volokh summarizes:

“The bottom line is that, even if it’s OK to punish speech that’s

likely to be annoying and offensive to its sole listener — on the

theory that such speech is unlikely to enlighten or edify, and likely

only to annoy — such restrictions shouldn’t be extended to speech

that has many listeners, many of whom might find the speech

valuable even though it’s annoying (perhaps deliberately so) to

some other listeners.”

  There are a lot of open questions presented by this poorly-worded

and poorly-thought-through statute.  McCullagh gives a much more balanced

account of the issues in his “FAQ: the new ‘annoy’ law explained.”  Many

worry that, until issues such as applicability to weblogs and to merely

irritating rather than abusive speech are settled, there will be great poten-

tial for prosecutors to use subpoenas to unmask anonymous internet

voices.  (see Deep Links) 

                                                                                          

We at f/k/a don’t think it is very mature or courageous to attack or harass

someone anonymously.  Your Editor understands Prof. Volokh’s distinction

between one-on-one and one-to-many communications, but one-to-many

communication (which is public and available to all, especially Googlers)

certainly has a far greater capacity to annoy/embarrass and, if truly intended

to “annoy” a particular person or persons, may offer very little valuable

content.

 

                                                                                                  

 

Bottomline, though, we don’t believe a court would find criminal liability

for communication that is merely annoying (even though done in a

cowardly no-name fashion).  Of course, going through a trial and

appeal to learn that result would be quite troublesome for the defen-

dant.  It is ironic that a congress filled with so many “textualists” and

“literalists” — not to mention proponents of individual freedom and liberty —

 would come up with such bad policy that is so poorly drafted.   (Doesn’t

congress have any lawyers experienced in writing a statute?)

 

 

 

no Comment posted —

she won’t stop

leaving me alone

 

 

 

something I said?

the cricket’s

gone, too

 

 

    dagosan

 

 

 

after her letter
no heart to open
    a bill

we bicker
all through the house
    … cleaning

 

 

 

to the cat:
“that’s complete and
utter nonsense”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

she’s waited up …
to have some last words
with me

 

 

 

 

all through
his temper tantrum
her calm

 

 

 

Tom Clausen

 from Homework (2000)

 

 

Thanksgiving Day

the emails come

with tunes

 

 

 

 

 

home alone

my own

silences

 

 

 

construction crew

the blackbird

relocates

 

 

 

 

 

 

party couple –

she doesn’t want me to say this,

he says

 

 

Hilary Tann  – Upstate Dim Sum 

“T-Day” & “home alone” –  (2004/I)

“construction crew” & “party couple”  – (2002/II)

 

    

 

Two days ago, we featured more than a dozen one-breath poems

from our Honored Guest George Swede, along with his five “essential”

rules for defining/writing haiku. 

 

 

 

Last night, we learned that Prof. Swede’s collection of tanka poetry,

First Light, First Shadows, is the winner of the Snapshot Press

Tanka Collection Competition 2005.  In addition to a cash prize for

the author, the collection will be published later this year as an

8″ x 5″ perfect bound book.  Congratulations, George!

Click here for our recent discussion of tanka

poetry, and for more links on the subject.

Please enjoy three tanka from the winning collection. 

 

Our clothes
where they fell
on the floor
gather first light
first shadows

 

 

Burial of a friend—
in spite of myself
I marvel at
the yellow butterfly
against the blue sky

 

 

With the promotion
a corner office—
two window reflections
now vie for
my attention

 

george swede – First Light, First Shadows (pub. pending,

Snapshot Press 2006) 

 

potluck

We miss George Wallace at his Fool in the Forest, where he

has failed to post in 2006.  But, we’re glad to see that his winning

a major Blawg Review Award has not pressured him to start posting

prolifically, as it did with us.  Wish we were so non chalant.

 

“spotlightS”  Do you mean Your Editor could have sued all those legal

employers who hired him for his looks?  (Law.com/AP, “$1.4

Billion Suit Claims Bank Hired Women as ‘Eye Candy,'”

Jan. 10, 2006).  Who knew?

 

Congratulations to Steve Bainbridge on his mighty showing

as a single-author legal webloggist.  For example, see Roger Alford’s list.

 

                                                                                            

 

                                                                                                          

“Ed” the mysterious Editor of Blawg Review and Kevin O’ Keefe, founder
of LexBlog, are having a public Blog Fight. The tiff started when Ed asked
Kev how The Law List (which O’Keefe edits) works, but Kev wanted to know
who Ed was and wrote a piece decrying anonymous lawyer webloggers and
objecting to the word “blawg.” Ed then posted about their Fight [and got
some moral support from his BR co-editor Kevin J. Heller], Kev O. wrote
again, and Ed both defended using “blawg” and announced that several
weblogging personalities [including yours truly] are not Ed.

As we enter the era of 39-cent stamps, today, I’d like to put in
my two cents on each issue. First, I should mention that Ed
and I have had a congenial correspondence over the past half-
year, and he’s never been disagreeable, even when we disagree.
It’s been quite a while since Kevin O’Keefe and I have correspon-
ded; we have often disagreed, and it was not always pleasant.

update: In an Open Letter to Giacalone, this morning, Ed
says “There was never a fight in my mind.,” and that Giacalone
got the timeline and background facts wrong. The Open Letter
left me unclear of the circumstances, facts and motives. How-
ever, I’m pretty sure that — whether there is a fight or just a debate
or a misunderstanding — the primary issues (weblog anonymity
and use of the word “blawg”) still separate Kevin and Ed and
are appropriate for my commentary. They both used the words
“Blog Fight” in their headlines but, as I conclude below, they
aren’t really all that far apart. Unless, of course, they are.
5 PM update: “Ed” has helped clarify the tone of his Open Letter,
by adding an appropriately lighthearted emoticon, with a link to
“tongue-in-cheek“. Thanks, Ednonymous One.

Let’s start with the easy point: Ed is absolutely correct: he is not
David Giacalone. I shall add for emphasis, that he is not David’s twin,
Arthur, nor any of his f/k/a alter egoes (Prof. Yabut, ethical Esq, dagosan,
haikuEsq, Joe Cliente, etc.). David Giacalone barely has the energy to
keep this site going; you would not for a moment find him taking on a
job like Editor of Blawg Review — and, certainly, not without getting the
glory that comes with it.

Next, I do agree with Kevin O’Keefe that there often are times when
knowing the identity of the human being behind a weblog is very important
for the weblog’s integrity and the value of its information and opinion (see, e.g.,
Selling the Perception of Expertise & Ghosts Will Kill the Weblog Community).

“MirrorG” However, I do not find it disconcerting that Ed wishes to stay anonymous —
especially after being reassured that he is not a cover for Evan, Mike or Kevin H.,
the Blawg Review co-editors. It’s not very difficult to imagine perfectly good
business, professional or personal reasons that the Editor of Blawg Review
might want to remain anonymous.

Each reader has every right to discount the value
of Blawg Review, or its Awards, in the content of
Ed‘s anonymity. I’m sure he’s taken that reaction
into account in choosing to remain unnamed.

On the next issue, count me among those who has no idea how to use
the “information” available at PubSub’s The Law List. I learned about The Law
List from “Ed” — who apparently recommend it to many fellow law webloggers.
Therefore, it’s ironic that an attempt by Ed to find out more information about the
service, after people such as myself told him it was confusing, annoyed Kevin so
much. Makes me wonder (as in some of our prior dealings) why Kevin is so darn
defensive.

Except for his tone of derision, Kevin and I are rather compatible on the
final topic — use of the word “blawg.” Despite its origin from the punning and
cunning mind of Denise Howell, I have long believed that we all would have been
better off without the creation and spread of this confusing, odd-sounding mutation
on the ugly little word “blog”. This is a topic that deserves its own post, but I want
to make two quick points: First, I wish I had lived up to my public promise, made
Sept. 30, 2003, in a piece for BloggerCon2003, called “Jargon Builds Walls Not
Bridges:”

“Blawg” is, as of today, purged from my dictionary,
glossary and ken.

“BoxerSignN” Second, lawyer weblog owners and editors who are using the term “weblawg”
shouldn’t take personally Kevin’s statement that it is “just plain stupid” to do so (Real
Lawyers Have Blogs, Oct. 25, 2005). You see, on January, 5, 2004, at the very start
of his Real Lawyers Have Blogs weblog, Kevin placed this description of himself in his
template, at the foot of each page:

“Kevin has now founded a company providing a turnkey
blawgs solution, by LexBlog, Inc., the leading provider of
law blogs, blawgs or weblogs for lawyers and attorneys
desiring to use a legal blog, blawg or weblog for effective
lawyer and attorney Internet Web site marketing and started
a new Real Lawyers :: Have Blogs blog.” [emphases added]

If Kevin can come this far, there’s clearly hope for all of us. The mediator in me wants
to point out that Ed and Kev aren’t really very far apart — if they truly want to end their
feudin’ and get back to respective productive lives.

 

dinner bell

the boy keeps on

shadow boxing

ed markowski

 

 

 

after hours gym –
a heavy bag sways slowly
in the window

Barry George – Haiku Harvest (Jan-Feb 2003)

p.s. Speaking of Blawg Review, this week’s version (#39) is ably
presented at Bruce MacEwan’s AdamSmithEsq, where Bruce
has given a very nice introduction to my post on judge Murtha’s
lenient sentencing. Oh, yeah, and he blurbs about a lot of other
excellent weblog pieces by lawyers, law students and the entire
“bl**g” community.

“MirrorN”

As Ann Althouse and we reported (independently) back on Halloween,

“alito” means “breath” or “puff” in Italian (per Ultralingua).  Ann’s post

garnered Comments about halitosis and Altoids, and more.

 

Dagosan offers a couple of senryu:

 

alito!

puffs from the right

huffs from the left

 

 

 

feminists

shiver —

alito

 

dagosan:   [Oct. 31, 2005]

 

After the very predictable first day of the confirmation    “alitoSA”

hearings on the nomination to the Supreme Court of Samuel A. Alito,

I predict a lot more hot air, huffing, puffing and halitosis this 

week in Washington, D.C.

 

“snowflakeS”  I suggest we all take a deep breath, and contemplate

a capital collection of one-breath poetry from Andrew Riutta:

 

 

 

quiet lake—
all these years
he has held his breath

 

 

autumn wind—

a leaf and homeless man

cross paths

 

 

 

 

in her silence

the tea kettle

announces winter

 

 

 

 

distant foghorn—
a perfect stone
skips forever 

 

 

 

 

 

new snow:

even the meaning

of our words is muffled

 

 

Andrew Riutta

“distant foghorn” & “new snow” – Haiku Harvest (Vol. 5:1, Fall/Winter 2005) 

                                                                                                                                 

 

p.s. If I were going to the Hearing, I’d bring my Airborne

[Note: This is not an endorsement of the profuct.]

 

                                                                                                      

 

As Ann Althouse and we reported (independently) back on Halloween,

“alito” means “breath” or “puff” in Italian (per Ultralingua).  Ann’s post

garnered Comments about halitosis and Altoids, and more.

 

Dagosan offers a couple of senryu:

 

alito!

puffs from the right

huffs from the left

 

 

feminists

shiver —

alito

 

dagosan:   [Oct. 31, 2005]

 

After the very predictable first day of the confirmation    “alitoSA”

hearings on the nomination to the Supreme Court of Samuel A. Alito,

I predict a lot more hot air, huffing, puffing and halitosis this 

week in Washington, D.C.

 

“snowflakeS”  I suggest we all take a deep breath, and contemplate

a capital collection of one-breath poetry from Andrew Riutta:

 

 

 

quiet lake—
all these years
he has held his breath

 

 

autumn wind—

a leaf and homeless man

cross paths

 

 

 

 

in her silence

the tea kettle

announces winter

 

 

 

 

distant foghorn—
a perfect stone
skips forever 

 

 

 

 

 

new snow:

even the meaning

of our words is muffled

 

 

Andrew Riutta

“distant foghorn” & “new snow” – Haiku Harvest (Vol. 5:1, Fall/Winter 2005) 

 

p.s. If I were going to the Hearing, I’d bring my Airborne.

[note: I am not endorsing said product]

 

                                                                                                                     

I’ve got to stop being surprised when people don’t fit into the little

pigeonholes that still inhabit the nether regions of my psyche. That’s

especially true when it comes to who does or doesn’t take a shine

to haiku poetry (or to this website).  After all, it was your humble editor

who penned “yes, lawyers & haiku”  twenty-five months ago, when

ethicalEsq was transformed into a punditry+haiku-advocacy weblog.

 

This post memorializes my most pleasant surprise over the intense 

interest in haikai (and its many controversial/conflicting rules) demon-

strated this evening by Will Wilson, the Editor of AG Watch.  AG Watch

is “the Eye on Attorneys General” of the American Enterprise Institute’s

Federalism Project.   We communicated for the first time on Jan. 5th,

when I sent Will a heads-up about our post on The State Center.  Will

thanked me for the information with a “haiku” — that he admitted was

“bad.”  Unable to resist, I suggested Will read >is it or ain’t it haiku? for

tips on writing “real” haiku.

 

stepping on

sidewalk ants     the boy

everyone bullies

 

       george swede

 

Tonight, I found out how dangerous it can be to willy-nilly turn someone

on to the mysteries and miseries of haiku, and its definition and creation.

The result was the AG Watch post Let’s Zappai the Whole Thing (Jan. 7,

2006), in which Will uses George Swede’s guidelines for writing haiku

as the framework for questioning the wisdom of having 50 state attorneys

general enforce the antitrust laws.   After pointing out the similarities

between haiku and antitrust (especially their superficial simplicity, which

makes them seem “easy to do”), Will says:

“Given the general similarities between antitrust and haiku,

perhaps George Swede’s five guidelines of haiku, read broadly,

can illuminate state antitrust oversight as well.”

No matter your perspective on antitrust or federalized antitrust, Will’s tour

de force is a great read, and is thought-provoking.  I’m pleased to have

instigated his burst of creativity (while suspicious that he might have

been avoiding some other deadline), and grateful that Will has become

a fan of haiku and this website and is exposing both to the readers of

his weblog.  And, I was just trying to be a smart-aleck.

 

update (Jan. 9, 2006): Will’s application of the rules of haiku to

antitrust, inspired Bert Foer of the American Antitrust Institute 

to reread The Spell of the Gherkin, a stirring poetic tale penned

in 2002 by former FTC Commissioner Tom Leary (with apologies

to Robert W. Service’s “The Spell of the Yukon“).  In Leary’s

“Gherkin,” heroic civil servants (armed with their equations),

struggled to keep the price of a pickle within arm’s reach of every

American.

 

Here are two sample verses (haikuEsq won’t let me show

more):

The Spell of the Gherkin (excerpts)

 

We here unveil a gentler tale,
Which still will stir the blood,
Where heroes try, in coat and tie,
To serve the public good.

 

. . .

 

I’ll say: “My lad, you’ve never had
A moment so sublime
As that shining hour when market power
Was checked in the nick of time!”

You can find some serious materials on antitrust,

consumer protection, economic analysis and more

by Com’r Leary on his FTC speeches page.

 

“tinyredcheck” What a great excuse to highlight George Swede’s

haiku and senryu!   Some may even be relevant to the great

AG debate.

 

 

 

nobody on the street

stray dog stops to bite

its wagging tail

 

 

 

 

 

 

abandoned factory

a cloud rests

on the smokestack

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

windowless office

a fly buzzes against

my glasses

 

 

 

 

in the howling wind

under the full moon

the snowman, headless

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The beetle I righted

flies straight into

a cobweb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

one button undone

in the clerk’s blouse    I let her

steal my change

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

town dump

two magpies jabber

on an old brass bed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fierce wind

street sweeper has

another coffee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

statues in the square

the raised hand of the war hero

fills with snow

 

 

“oilCanHS”

 

 

 

 

putting holes

in my argument

the woodpecker

 

 

 

 

All of the above poems

  from Almost Unseen (Brooks Books, 2000) 

 

 

 

 

High in the bare tree
with the ocean view
a nest full of leaves

 

         mainichi news (No. 679, Jan. 2, 2006) 

 

 

 

 

 

Abandoned barn

one bale of hay with twine

unraveling

 

         loose change: HSA 2006

 

george swede

 

 

“boyblackboard”

 

p.s. Here are George Swede’s Five Basic Rules

for good haiku:

1. haiku must be brief: one breath long  

2. haiku must express sense of awe or insight

3. haiku must involve some aspect of nature other than

human nature

4. haiku must possess sense images, not generalizations

5. haiku must present an event as happening presently,

not past or future

 

 

                                                                                              

 

Before 2006 gets much older, I want to look back at f/k/a‘s 2005 highlights

(if only to figure out why those Blawg Review guys gave us the “Creative Law Blog“

award).  However, our peridementia problem makes detailed recollection difficult

and — far worse — having a weblog webserver that hardly ever grants me acces

makes a thorough review impossible. 

 

                                                                                                         “OLd&NewYearS”

 

Never fear, though, one thing we learned in 2005:  When at a loss for something

to post, go to our StatCounter Keyword Activity page to see which searches

brought us visitors this week (even if inadvertently).  So, here’s a hastily-made

retrospective of f/k/a in 2005, seen through the slightly murky lens of Google

and Yahoo! search engines:

 

 

  wanita young cookies>  One visitor got here yesterday through our 4th

place finish in this Google search.   It was only eleven months ago when the nation

was in an uproar, canonizing two Durango, Colorado, teenage cookie heroines and

condemning their victim, Wanita Young, for taking them to court.  This query reminded

me that f/k/a was the first weblog to attempt to bring some common sense and balance

to the story.  Re-reading our post cookie curmudgeon (Feb. 5, 2005), I wouldn’t change

a word (except perhaps to chastise more strongly the web morons who wrote they

hoped Wanita would die).  Indeed, I’ll repeat two rather thoughtful passages that

have broader application:

  The entire Cookie Caper would make a great lesson for parents

to teach their children  —  (1) do random acts of kindness, but (2) think

through how to do them so that the recipients will be pleasantly surprised.

 

Suggesting that this episode means no one should act kindly toward

neighbors or strangers, or that doing so in a thought-full, thought-through 

manner raises unacceptable risks of being sued, is simply asinine.  Almost

any case can be made to sound like a miscarriage of justice, or a symbol

of what’s wrong with our society or legal system, if you leave out enough

facts.   I have little hope for the main-stream media, but I wish my weblawg

colleagues would try a little harder to present cases in a fair manner. 

 

 

young widow

asks for another

fortune cookie

 

     George Swede 

      from Almost Unseen

 

 

estate auction–

can’t get my hand back out

of the cookie jar

 

  Randy Brooks 

         from School’s Out

 

 

 

empty cookie tin –.

the hermit

heads to bed

 

    dagosan

   

 

 

scarecrows standing–
a house without rice cakes
can’t be found

 

 

 Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

 

 

attorney conduct>  We only showed up at #10 in this rather open-ended

Google Search, which brought a visitor to e-shaming and lawyer conduct.

But, that post, from March 7, 2005, started an interesting discussion.  We

asked: “Does online infamy, or the fear of it, cause lawyers to improve their

conduct?  Can it spur rehabilitation and deter unprofessional performance?”  

We showed that a lawyer in the news, or just in the blogisphere, for question-

able conduct or judgment would find those stories at the top of any Google

searches for her or his name.  It sure made me want to behave.

 

– click here for 15 Issa haiku on shame, including –

 

 

 

filled with shame
flat to the ground…
the thief cat

 

 

the lover cat
with a shameless face
has returned

 

 

 

ashamed
napping, hearing
the rice-planting song

 

 Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

 

 

alito finito Italian> Our post finito con “scalito” — it’s a silly sobriquet 

(Nov. 3, 2005) was the first result in this Google search.  Wearing our

Italian heritage proudly, we opined that the nickname “Scalito” “is suf-

ficiently immature, misleading and insulting (to both ends of the portman-

teau — Scalia and Alito), to be inappropriate in a serious public debate.”  

We did not believe, however, that “Scaltio”was some grave insult to Italian-

Americans.  Instead, among other rather wise (not wiseguy) thoughts, we

noted:

The immediate charges of anti-Italian bias by the National Italian

American Foundation (NIAL) and racism by unnamed Republican

operatives, followed by defensive speculations on the left about the

intentions of the complainants, suggest that raising the American

Emotional Quotient (and especially that of the media, the Web, and

“defamation professionals”) should be an important national priority.  

 

Whether hired, self-annointed or otherwise chosen, those who see their

jobs as protecting and defending the “reputation” of any group, far too

often adopt a lowest-common-threshold of offense, and an ultra-sensitive

ear for insult. 

empty bottle

a few words

I would like to take back

             John Stevenson from Quiet Enough

 

 

 

 

 

greatgrandpa’s

bocce balls —

three generations choose sides 

 

       dagosan

 

 

tripping over dogs with dementia> and dementia and dog tripping> The

first result for both of these Google queries was from May 2005 post titled

peridementia and our aging knowledge workers.  The post worries about

the abundance of Baby Boomer brainos that occur already each day, and

ponders what that means for our position in the work force.  The Google

search found the peridementia post, because it appeared at a time when

the following haiku by Issa was in our Sidebar: 

 

 

tripping over the dog

again …

night of winter rain

 

  Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

 

Happily, there was another result nearby that actually dealt with the problem. 

It’s comforting to think that Issa was having similar difficulties two centures

ago.

 

early Alzheimer’s

she says she’ll have . . .

the usual

 

  John Stevenson from Quiet Enough 

 

 

 

 

sexy threesome postures> The #1 result out of 10,700 in this Google inquiry

was our halloween tricks: pols vs. sex offenders (which probably disappointed

the searcher.  You probably don’t need to be reminded that sex-offender-scape-

goating is still on the mind of our politicians, what with all the New Year “State

of the” speeches given at every level of government.  Oh, yes, our children are

going to be so much safer now.

 

In the post, we said:

The scariest sights I’ve seen so far this trick-or-treat season are 

the stern faces and contorted postures of politicians, masquerading

as super-heroes in the fight to protect our children against a horde

of halloween sex offenders.  As the New York Times described

earlier this week (“Sex Offenders See New Limits for Halloween,”

Oct. 26, 2005):

 

“witchbrewS”

 

 

 

halloween

i only tell the priest

so much

 

   ed markowski

 

 

 

battery weakened

the low, slow laughter

of a demon

 

     John Stevenson 

          from Some of the Silence   

 

                                                                                                  

nysba + lawyer advertising> Our December post, nysba disses lawyer advertising,  

was 3rd, and our May post, born there — MCBA ad guidelines, was 4th in this Google

search.  It’s a good reminder that the lawyer’s right to advertise and the consumer’s

right to receive lawyer advertising are under attack by the profession’s Dignity Police,

who also — in our humble opinion — don’t like undue competition and seem to believe

that consumers are dunces.

update (11 AM): Again this morning, our coverage of Pape & Chandler‘s

fight to use its Pit Bull Logo and 800 Number was near the top of a

Google Search for pit bull bites>.  f/k/a has been the leading source

for breaking news on this topic for the past year, with coverage going

from the very serious to the somewhat less-serious.

 

  lawyer standard contingency fee>  An 1998 article by Your Editor was #1,

and the f/k/a April Fool’s Day post — announcing the condemnation of the standard con-

tingency fee by an organization called ATLA — was #2 in this Google query.  Sadly, #3

was a post ethicalEsq did on this same topic, from the first week of the existence of this

weblog.  Despite the real ATLA giving lip-service to adjusting contingency fees to the

risk taken by the lawyer in each case, we’ve seen no evidence of any improvement

since ethicalEsq started his campaign.  Most p/i lawyers still proffer only the local

Standard Contingency Fee rate to their clients, no matter how easy or lucrative the

case.  We were even arguing about it yesterday — and we promise to keep up the

discussion for as long as this weblog exists.

Showing up near the top of a Google search

for judge Loretta Preska> today did, however, give us a

small smile of gratitude. See clone that judge, where Judge

Preska got a tip of the hat for trimming the plaintiff lawyers’

fee request in the Bristol-Myers Squibb Securities Litigation,

and thereby helped clarify for other judges — and maybe

even for plaintiffs’ lawyers — the factors that need to be con-

sidered when counsel want to be paid a percentage of their

clients’ winnings. [how much risk, how much work, how much

expertise]

 

 

north carolina lawyer shortage>  The first result out of 1.5 million in this Google

query was our post Law School Deprivation Syndrome in NC  — which begins:

My eyes filled with tears, as I learned the plight of the Tar Heel state
— too few lawyers, due to having too few law schools, resulting in a
severe case of Law School Deprivation Syndrome [“LSD”]  for
North Carolinians.

Once you read about LSD, I’m sure you’ll be pulling for the success of Elon
University Law School, which opens its doors in autumn 2006, in Greens-
boro, NC, and promises that all students will have “executive coaches,” who —
according to Dean Leary Davis — “will help students battle against ‘dark side
traits’,” like lack of discipline, procrastination and perfectionism.  Any skeptics
should heed the warning of Drexel Law School’s Carl Oxholm, who points out
that “The Baby Boomers are getting old,” and “The legal problems they’re going
to have are going to be astounding.”” (see Inside Higher Ed, Nov. 3, 2005)

 

                                                                                               

 

lawyer nicknames> #1 and #2, of over 300,000 Google results, in this search
was our post SCotching lawyer nicknames, where we explained: 

Florida’s lawyer-advertising police can finally point to a state with
even sillier rules than their own — South Carolina.   Thanks to some
asinine legislative over-reaching by “tort reformers,” it is now unlawful
for a lawyer to advertise with “a nickname that creates an unreasonable
expectation of results.” 

After additional astute commentary, we offered some practical advice,

should the silly nickname ban be upheld in Court:

I suggest that South Carolina lawyers consider officially changing
their given or middle names — perhaps to Champion, Rock, Vindicator,
or the ever-popular Hammer.  And, please plan ahead: give your children
names they can grow into that inspire confidence in the gullible.  Native
Americans — or their admirers — could probably come up with some very
evocative and effective names (“She Who Takes Many Scalps,” “He Who
Always Gets One-Third”).  Do you think “Sue” is allowed? 

 

 

As you may know, f/k/a did not win the Best Eclectic Law Blog Award

from Blawg Review — that honor went to Prof. Steve Bainbridge.  But,

we nonetheless covered a lot of ground in 2005 outside of the legal

field [and in addition to our daily presentation of haiku and senryu] —

as was demonstrated this week on our Keyword Activity Page. 

For example:

 

gumba meaning Italian> The #1 result in this Google search was our

piece agita & attention deficit disorder (Oct. 28, 2005), which went from

who’s being mean to Harriet Miers, to the significance of lying under oath

(in re Scooter Libby), to stopping medications based on a lawyer’s tv

ads, and then to the definition and etymology of “agita,” which we helped 

explain by presenting the lyrics from the Broadway Danny Rose song of

the same name  (by Nick Apollo Forte). The line “My gumba in the banzone”

appears throughout the song.  Gumba, the Sicilian expression for the 

Italian word “compare,” means a very close family friend (such as the 

godfather of your children).   

 

 

                                                                                     

 

lawyer hair> We registered the #6 result (out of 5.4 million) in the Google 

search for this interesting phrase.  Google pointed to our hair-brained priorities 

— a much broader discussion of the dramas caused by Bad Hair Days, and

their impact on each gender.  The piece includes an admission by the

Editor that “some of my very worse bad hair days happened while I was an

antitrust lawyer.”   

 

 

           late day showers…

                   my hair gel

                      reactivates

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                       winter pines…

                             the ski instructor’s

                                  spiked hair

 

 

 

             ed markowski 

 

 

soup slurping complaints>  The #1 and 2 of 9280 Google results was our

treatment of menudo soup in cuatro de mayo – soups and sticks, which was

followed by the Issa haiku below.  Don’t give up on Google, though: the #3

result was a post from pho-king weblog complaining about loud soup slurping

— to wit, Vietnamese Pho.

 

 

 

 

his dusty cookbooks

soup can

in the sink

     

             dagonsan

  

 

plum blossom scent–

slurping it in
with the vegetable soup

 Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

 

 

                                     “toiletPaperF”

woman farting on blind date> #4 of 216, 000 results in this Google query

was a Google blind date, which is actually an astute discussion of the

amazing communication and networking tools that weblogs have become

thanks to search engines and internet access.   The post had mentioned

our #2 position in a Google Search on

thanks to a poem by Master Issa.

the farting contest

begins again —

winter seclusion

 

   Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

 

If you are really a male adolescent at heart, plus a haiku lover,

click here for 20 Issa poems that deal with farting.  A sample:

 

 

going outside the fence
to fart…
a cold night

 

 

 

the fart contest
begins at once…
winter quilt

 

 

 

 

not incense
not a fart…
the year ends

 

Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

 

 

  Frankly, we did a lot of other interesting things here at f/k/a

in 2005, which we have neither the memory nor the energy to recall right now 

(plus, we explained the difference between gerunds and participles, with

examples!).  You can indirectly discover many more on our Inadvertent Searchee

page.  And, it goes with out saying, that you can find the heart of this weblog

by checking out the links to our Honored Guest Poets.

 

                                                                                                            “NoYabutsSN”