Monthly Archives: February 2006

Keep an Eye on the Ugly Ones

"I’m too ugly to get a job." — Daniel Gallagher, a Miami bank robber, after police captured him in 2003 The hapless Mr. Gallagher may have been ugly, but he was also wise. Not only are physically unattractive teenagers likely … Continue reading

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Life is a Video Game, Sometimes

MALIBU, Calif. — Authorities are investigating the circumstances behind a spectacular crash on Pacific Coast Highway that destroyed a rare Ferrari Enzo estimated to be worth more than $1 million. The red Ferrari was going at least 100 mph when … Continue reading

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School’s Out for Summers

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. –In his five-year tenure at Harvard University, President Lawrence H. Summers frequently found himself in the spotlight because of rifts with faculty at the Ivy League institution. Tuesday, facing the second no-confidence vote by faculty members in a … Continue reading

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No One Writes to the Dowbrigade

An interesting article appeared on the front page of the New York Times today concerning the balance between utility and imposition represented by student email to college professors. We are pretty much reading the Times from cover to cover these … Continue reading

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Welcome to the Mile High Club

An Israeli pilot is offering to take couples on flights around Tel Aviv so that they can join the mile high club. For less than $250, pilot Tamir Harpas will take adventurous lovers on a 45 minute flight complete with … Continue reading

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Comic of the Day

Did we ever mention that we once had as a student a female Japanese lawyer named Sosumi?

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Thinking Outside the Box

TEL AVIV – Israel’s military has found the perfect vehicle for special operations forces – the llama. After extensive tests, the uncomplaining work-horse animals were found to easily out-perform donkeys. What’s more, they need refuelling only every other day. Military … Continue reading

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Holy War – The Ultimate Oxymoron

On February 16, 2006, the reformist Internet daily Rooz (www.roozonline.com) reported for the first time that extremist clerics from Qom had issued what the daily called "a new fatwa," which states that "the shari’a does not forbid the use of … Continue reading

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A Dozen Roses and a YoMoZaHo Coffee

TEHRAN, Iran (AP) – Iranians love Danish pastries, but when they look for the flaky dessert at the bakery they now have to ask for "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad." Bakeries across the capital were covering up their ads for … Continue reading

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Cheney Reveals He Has Secret Powers

WASHINGTON (AP) – Vice President Dick Cheney disclosed Wednesday that he has the power to declassify sensitive government information, authority that could set up a criminal defense for his former chief of staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby. Cheney’s disclosure comes … Continue reading

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Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend

  Actress Molly Sims is shown wearing a $30 million diamond bikini in this publicity photograph released February 14, 2006. The bikini, designed by Susan Rosen is made up of over 150 carats of D flawless diamonds. The bikini is … Continue reading

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Careful What You Ask For Dept.

We heard the news that the Vice President had shot his lobbyist friend in a hunting accident while we were in the ICU at a minor urban hospital, doped up but still in considerable pain. We have yet to hear or … Continue reading

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