Were You Here?
Dear God,
Did You see me when I packed up my bag
and walked twenty-one streets back home
Gazing blankly into people-filled space?
Going through the motions of an automaton
Not even trying to beat the yellow lights
Just shaking my head every once in a while —
Did you see me? Were You here?
Did You hear me when I finally got home
And I screamed into the long hall
To no one in particular —
just screamed in a voice so raw
and surprisingly loud
that I scared even myself for just a moment–
Did You hear me? Were You here?
Did You feel the couch pillows shudder
When I pitifully punched with all my might…
(the little might I have)
And did You feel the trip of metal against Your feet
When I threw that humble little office supply
to the ground over and over just to hear it clang?
It was the only thing that wouldn’t break.
Did You feel it? Were You here?
Did You hear me when I prayed
Day after day, hour after hour?
And did You hear me when I half-prayed
because I couldn’t feel Your presence anymore?
Where are You?
I know somewhere You are here…
But I wish I could see
I wish I could hear
I wish I could feel
You near.