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f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

March 23, 2006

TISK! pt. 4 –

Filed under: — David Giacalone @ 10:04 pm

TISK: The Inadvertent Searchee (and the Katydid)!

night in the hut
searching on the shelf
. . . katydid

katydid ….. by Kobayashi Issa, translated by David G. Lanoue

As either f/k/a or ethicalEsq, this weblog shows up remarkably often at or near the top of the results of search-engine queries. Here are some instances that I found interesting, odd, or otherwise worthy of comment — usually because they were so inadvertent, or because they demonstrate how a little weblog (with a few links from its friends, but without using “search engine optimization” tricks) can get its perspective, pet peeves and crusades in a position to be read by enquiring minds across the planet.

TISK! pt. 1 can be found here.

TISK! pt. 2 can be found here.

TISK! pt. 3 can be found here.

Sept.1, 2007: The f/k/a Gang has — quite inadvertently, of course — been very negligent about updating this webpage over the past year. Last week, in a strange exchange with the folk at the Antitrust Review weblog, we looked at some of our favorite TISK! blurbs and checked their current search engine status. This is our report:

Here are some of the results. An f/k/a post is the:

one glass of wine –
Google keeps asking
“Did you mean _____?”

past their peak –
boomers’ first date
…………………………… by dagosan

The beetle I righted
flies straight into
a cobweb

…………………………………. by George Swede

Editor’s note & update (Aug. 27, 2007), 8 AM: I just reGoogled <antitrust sexy> and got a very big surprise, and smile; the post you are reading right now is the:

update (11 AM, Aug. 26): Well, my campaign to move Antitrust Review to the top of the heap for matters of antitrust humor has been remarkably successful. As of 11 AM this morning, Antitrust Review holds the #1 spot in Google search results for both <antitrust lawyer jokes> and <antitrust humor>, while f/k/a is still on top for <antitrust and sexy>. David Fischer and his joint venturers may have to change their tune about sex vs. humor. The mystery of the Google Search Algorithm continues.

April 8, 2006:

Feeling our ethnic oats:

<italian word gumba> We had the #1 and #2 (out of 932) results in this

Google search. See our essay goomba goombah gumba gumbah, and —

for “gumbah” used in cultural context – sing the lyrics of Nick Appol Forte’s

song “Agita.”

<bocci grass> Thanks to our efforts at bocce advocacy, we were in the #1

spot in this Google query, out of 42,000 results.

<sychophants’ responses> We don’t have these, but the 1st of 41,200 results in

this Yahoo! search was our discussion of taxes and sycophants in athens (where

the rich were proud to pay taxes!).

Which reminds me, thanks to a little help from weblog friends,

like Prof. Bainbridge, Evan Schaeffer and Nancy Stinson, f/k/a

is also the first Google results for one of my favorite neologistic

creations: <tax-whiner>, and weblog policies: <“tax-whiner free zone“>

April 4, 2006

Some poor soul Googled <how to get out of the legal profession>.

Out of 152 million results, the first two are from us. You could do a lot

worse than reading them, if you need professional inspiration or better priorities:

Law As Daily Passion, Not Default Profession (quotes from New

Jersey Appellate Judge Jose L. Fuentes) and

is Canada’s legal profession different? (probably not)

March 24, 2006

<weblog culture> #1 and #2 of 44,500,000 Google results went to our page

on Weblog Culture & Ethics page.


As for legal profession issues dear to our heart and important

to consumers:

<lawyer client self fool> We had the #2 and #3 of 1.6 million results in this

Google query.In one, we spoke of George Fool in the Forest Wallace and

self-regulation on the same page. In the other, we quoted a NYSBA brochure

that was discouraging self-help by con-sumers. What Google should have f

eatured: our quote from Edward Day Parsons:

“He who pleads his own case may have a fool for a client; but it’s

more probable that he who employs a lawyer will have a knave for

an attorney.”

<lawyer value billing> The first two results out of 17 million in this Google search.

came from f/k/a (the internet’s lone voice of caution on this issue). For example,

see Value Billing and Legal Ethics

<What Is An Appropriate Contingency Fee> The first two of nearly 4 million results

for this crucial Google query were here and here at f/k/a – despite the insults of a

certain dignified p/i lawyer. Now, if only the good-guy tort lawyers would read

up and take it too heart.

<lawyer telling clients when they are damned fools> First two of almost half a

million Google results came from f/k/a, for this very important concept. We

were quoting Sol Sol Linowitz‘s book Betrayed Profession:

“Elihu Root . . . put the matter more simply: ‘About

half the practice of a decent lawyer,’ he once said,

‘consists in telling would-be clients that they are

damned fools and should stop.’

“Today there are too few lawyers who see it as

part of their function to tell clients (especially new

clients) that they are damned fools and should stop:

Any such statement would interfere with the marketing

program. The public pays, because the rule of law is


<fiduciary obligations of attorneys> #1 of 2.5 million Google results, on

a topic that doesn’t get enough discussion in the legal profession, was

this post.

Of course, some of the search engine results seem to be a bit more inadvertent

(or inauspicious):

<haiku perspiration> #4 of 15,000 in the Google search,

which lets me repeat the poem in question from my alter

ego dagosan:

perspiration rolls

across flat abs —

her innie

<Stop buying expensive coffee and save> #3 of 3.8 million Google results

was our commentary about law students spending far too much on luxuries

and adding needlessly to their law school debt. (Sometimes, we sound like

old fuddy-duddiesaround here.)


<how big is a F cup> #1 of almost 9 million Yahoo! search results.

As usual, old Master Issa is the culprit (along with the “f” in our name):


in a big sake cup.

moon and a flea

<owen wilson erection in speedo> – Yesterday, we were #1 out of 309 in this

Yahoo query. That’s what I get for featuring the book Taboo Haiku. Go here

to see the provoking poems. [Oddly, the same Yahoo! search today doesn’t

even show f/k/a in the top 40. Talk about inconsistent performance.]

update (5 PM, March 24): I don’t know who’s looking up <halloween sex>, but

our post on pols vs. sex offenders was the #2 result out of 5.3 million in a Yahoo!

Search today. Our own attempts to find out more about the Smith v. Peterson

“early bather” case, revealed that the f/k/a post of the subject is the #1 result when

Googling <“Sheldon Smith” lawyer> today.

one glass of wine
Google keeps asking
“Did you mean ____?”


using his nose
the dog searches
the violets

Kobayashi Issa

translated by David G. Lanoue

TISK! pt. 1 can be found here.

TISK! pt. 2 can be found here.

TISK! pt. 3 can be found here.

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