f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

How embarrassing for a so-called “creative,” curmudgeonly pundit-

haijin: I’ve been Weird-Tagged and can’t come up with any examples

of “weird habits” of mine, much less five of them.  Although I just might

end up with a plethora of examples, I think I’ll email a few friends and

family members to see if they can help fill my Weird list.

Meanwhile, a little background on getting tagged: Ellen M Johns,

of the Coffee Granules weblog, reached all the way over from the

UK, and tagged me at dagosan’s haiku diary — apparently during

her very first visit there (yes, pretty forward, indeed).  Ellen was

tagged by poet and author Pris Campbell.  At Pris’ surprise-filled

Songs To A Midnight Sky weblog, I learned that Ellen is waiting to

see whether I, and the four other males she tagged, “have risen to

the challenge!!!”  Great, more performance expectations.   

Reading about Pris Campbell, I discovered that she — like myself —

has been living with CFS/CFIDS (chronic fatigue immune dysfunction

syndrome) for many years.  On her website About page, Pris begins

her story:

“I didn’t start out as a poet. I wanted to be a novelist until a

major illness wiped out  that idea. On September 23, 1990,

I woke up with a severe case of what was later to be diag-

nosed as CFIDS. . . .

.

“When this illness hit, I felt as if I had been transported to a

place I no longer recognized.”

Although I have talked about my having CFS at this website (mostly

in the context of having to stop posting or switch formats to conform

to the illness’ limitations and frustrations), I have not said much about

the great transformation this illness has caused in my life.  Of course,  

I bet my astute readers could figure out what it might mean to lose

one’s profession and livelihood, all financial security and most social

contacts.  Nor have I discussed the dispiriting aspects of having a mere

“syndrome,” that sounds trivial, doesn’t make you “look sick,” and offers

no roadmap back to good health.

                                                                                        

Prior to CFIDS, Pris had been a ‘health nut’ and former clinical psy-

chologist, who was an aspiring author.  She biked daily, kept a garden,

and was active with friends and in the community.  If you are at all

curious about this illness, which has greatly affected the lives of hun-

dreds of thousand of people (plus their families), I recommend that you

read Pris’ story — and her tips about how to relate to us CSFers.

One thing Pris and I appear to have in common: an appreciation for

the insights and values gained living with this illness.  When I thought

I had to give up “ethicalEsq” (the prior name of this weblog) for good,

I wrote something worth repeating (if only for my own edification): 

I know that some of the new friends I’ve made out there in

Web Log Land are a little worried about me and my health,

but they shouldn’t be.  I’m not seeking sympathy by telling

personal details in this public place.  I’ve learned some very

important lessons while dealing with a serious health condition

over the past decade, and I’m glad to have learned them and

lived them.   Besides discovering my own inner strength, I found

out that there are things far more valuable to me than the typical

American symbols of “success” — power, influence, recognition,

wealth.

I still haven’t learned how to pace myself, to avoid doing my body harm

in a constant hyper-weblogging mode.  Maybe Pris can share some of

her experience with me. 

.

On the other hand, perhaps she can lend me a few “weird habits” so

I can get this darn List done.  Soon, Ellen (honest).

  Speaking of poets, here are a few

poems from Lee Gurga that fit my mood tonight:

arc of a rubberband

back and forth across the room;

winter evening

first snow —

little boy laughing

in his sleep

the sky black with stars —

coyote tracks up and down

the frozen creek

lee gurga from Fresh Scent (1998)