Category Archives: Serious News

Hachet Job

BOSTON (Reuters) – An 18-year-old man opened fire in a Massachusetts’ gay bar and attacked patrons with a hatchet, wounding three people, police said on Thursday. The attack at Puzzles Lounge in New Bedford, a city about 58 miles south … Continue reading

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Unprecedented Profits

NEW YORK (Reuters) – Exxon Mobil Corp. (XOM.N: Quote, Profile, Research), the world’s largest publicly traded oil company, reported a quarterly profit of $10.7 billion on Monday, rounding out the most profitable year in U.S. corporate history. The results pushed … Continue reading

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Reaping the Whirlwind

GAZA (Reuters) – Hamas and Fatah gunmen exchanged fire on Friday in political turmoil as the long-dominant Fatah faction was threatened with a violent backlash from within after its crushing election defeat by the Islamic militant group. Hamas, whose shock … Continue reading

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Nazi Pedophile Priest Killer Gets Life, Again

WORCESTER, Mass. (AP) The inmate who strangled child-molesting priest John Geoghan was convicted of murder Wednesday after failing to convince a jury he was delusional when he killed one of the central figures in the Boston Archdiocese sex scandal. Joseph … Continue reading

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The Pornification of America

Actors having real sex in art-house movies. Erstwhile child star Lindsay Lohan appearing barely clad on the cover of her new album. Teenage girls strolling down Main Street USA attired in ”Porn Star" T-shirts. A bikini-wearing Jessica Simpson bumping and … Continue reading

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New US Bills – More Color, US Values

Washington D.C. (AHN) – On March 2, the first of 800 million redesigned $500 bills will begin popping up at cash registers and ATM machines across the country. Government officials announced Thursday they have picked the March date to begin … Continue reading

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Hello Kitty – Old Money into New

TOKYO – Coin importer Taisei Coins Corp and Sanrio Co said Wednesday that they will jointly sell three euro coins with images of the latter’s "Hello Kitty" character on them, beginning on Dec 5. A 1-ounce gold coin with a … Continue reading

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200 ft. Argentine Erection Protected by Rubber

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina (Reuters) — Sightseers in Buenos Aires got a shock Thursday when the city’s most famous landmark, the obelisk, was covered with a giant pink condom on World AIDS Day. City officials used cranes to unfurl shiny pink … Continue reading

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Law of the Jungle Reigns in Malls

ORLANDO, Fla. — Security guards wrestled a man to the ground this morning in a Wal-Mart. Channel Nine has learned that the man cut in line to get laptop computers that were on sale. The man started arguing with people … Continue reading

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The Tragic Search for the Perfect Drug

As promised, followup on the expanding investigation into the drug lab/sex den discovered near the Children’s Museum on the downtown Boston waterfront.  Turns out that the lab was NOT the biggest methamphetemine lab ever discovered on the East Coast. It … Continue reading

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Gary Glitter Faces Firing Squad in Vietnam

Disgraced Seventies rock star Gary Glitter could face death by firing squad after he was accused of having sex with a girl aged just 12, police said. Sexual intercourse with a 12-year old regardless of whether there is consent is … Continue reading

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A World Awash in Oil

Top executives from the oil industry are expected to stand their ground when they testify on Wednesday before Congress on the politically charged issue of high energy prices. The hearing, called to investigate whether oil majors are "profiteering" at the … Continue reading

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