Herzog up in this piece
I’ve been writing letters to representatives, editors, etc.
In response to this editorial about the Sinclair Broadcast Group’s plan to force its affilates to preempt prime time programming for an hour-long anti-Kerry attack ad masquerading as a documentary, I did these 150 words or less.
Your editorial “Fairness door swings both ways” is off base. Whether it’s OK for Sinclair Broadcast Group to force its stations to air the “Stolen Honor” special is not a First Amendment issue.
Sinclair uses public airwaves to broadcast. Our airwaves are an extremely valuable property of the American people. Sinclair is allowed to use part of this property of ours for free – unlike, for instance, cell phone companies, who pay us for the portion of the airwaves they use.
This amounts to a taxpayer subsidy of Sinclair. But it’s not corporate welfare,
because we demand payback. Part of our payback is that Sinclair has an obligation to help us hold a fair election. If they broadcast propaganda right before the election, they are ripping off the American people. This “public interest” obligation has been upheld by the Supreme Court, and doesn’t conflict with the First Amendment.
I pretty much bit this off of Reed Hundt and tried to folksy it up a little. I put it up here because it seems pretty good to me, but what I want is to get wicked excellent at letter writing, and I’d welcome any advice.
October 14th, 2004 at 2:13 pm
what does this have to do with werner herzog?
October 14th, 2004 at 2:24 pm
You must have missed Klaus Kinsky’s starring role in it! He was really chewing the scenery.
Seriously though, the reference is to Saul Bellow’s novel. To be honest, it’s a silly reference, ’cause the only real common ground is that Moses Herzog and I both write letters. Basically I couldn’t think of a good title, so I put the first thing that came to mind.
October 14th, 2004 at 2:36 pm
i think herzog writes letters too, so it works across the board.
October 14th, 2004 at 5:22 pm
No no no no no. This is all wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.
Sigh. Where to begin?
First of all, any letter of complaint must include the words “shocked,” “offended,” and “dismayed.” Any one of these can be modified with a nice “deeply,” but otherwise try to conserve those adverbs.
Furthermore, you must demand some kind of action or reparation for the accused misdeed. In this case, you should ask the Santa Cruz Centinal to, in the interest of the First Ammendment, print your disertation on Why Reparations for Slavery are Actually Racist. It helps to include a check for however much a page of advertising space costs. Boy, exercising one’s First Ammendment rights sure are EXPENSIVE!
Furthermore, you should suggest that Sinclair be allowed to show the Kerry-bashing documentary (breaking news mandated weeks in advance) ONLY if it first pumps Janet Jackson’s nipple over its airwaves for 24 hours straight. They can even choose the music if they want; I suggest Lee Greenfield.
Finally, you need to remember the Angry Letter Acronym: TUFS…
Threaten,
Use a
Fake name, and
Spray with your favorite scent.
Once you tell them you’re going to come down there and tie-dye their dirty hippy intestines, a good whif of Ol’ Spice or even soy sauce proves you’re serious. As for a handle, might I suggest Moses Herzog?
October 14th, 2004 at 11:47 pm
Ha, way to ask blogger for writing advice. That’s like asking for chess help from someone who strains to keep up with checkers.
Here’s how I’d fix your letter:
ReverseVoteSwap.org!
October 16th, 2004 at 1:44 am
I think Erin pretty much covered your pro forma responsibilities in this area, so I’ll just say this: I warn’t convinced. How do we know anti-Kerry attack ads aren’t in the public interest?
Also: is broadcasting propaganda long before, or right after, the election less of a rip off?
October 16th, 2004 at 1:47 am
Um, hell-LOW—
That’s, like, “Kinski” to you stupid East Coasterners.
Sheeze.
October 17th, 2004 at 5:35 pm
don’t be a douchebag all your life.
October 18th, 2004 at 9:23 pm
Aw, did T-Diddy wun out?
I thank thee, Lord, for this thy bounty!
October 20th, 2004 at 5:04 pm
Deus nobis haec otium fecit.
October 20th, 2004 at 6:41 pm
Apt, T-Diddy! But your pagan ways can’t whup scripture – check out this gem straight from Hieronymus:
Et Deus dixit, fiat id quod bonum est!
Dixitque Deus, et habeat Desultor multum.
Dixitque Deus, sed habeat Tittyrus nullum, quia Tittyrus mentula est.
October 21st, 2004 at 7:41 pm
Sed Deus meminisset quod Desultor catamitus esse. Deus dixit: Fiat nox! Desultor peccator est! Eheu Tittyrus! Venit germanus tuus fraudulenter at accepit benedictionem tuam! Dominus tuum illum constitui et post haec fili mi ultra quid faciam? Mea culpa! Mea maxima culpa!
October 24th, 2004 at 10:58 pm
Sed Deus quicquid sentivit. “Eheu,” dixit, “quis me violat?” Circumspexit. “Tittyre,” dixit, “nunc igitur maledictus eris super terram! Desultori autem benedicam benedictionibus caeli desuper benedictionibus abyssi iacentis deorsum benedictionibus uberum et vulvae.”
October 27th, 2004 at 9:22 am
would someone mind translating for those of us who cannot speak the above, oh and btw it looks like you’ve gone off subject.
December 13th, 2010 at 2:46 am
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