{"id":313,"date":"2023-04-03T22:40:49","date_gmt":"2023-04-04T02:40:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/?p=313"},"modified":"2023-04-03T22:40:49","modified_gmt":"2023-04-04T02:40:49","slug":"am-i-in-or-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/2023\/04\/03\/am-i-in-or-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I In or Out: What it Means to Find a Place to Belong"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Rachel Zhou and Eliot Min<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Everyone likes to feel like they are a part of something bigger than themselves\u2013 a friend group, a house, a college, or even a country. These affiliations can define how others perceive us, as well as how we perceive ourselves. How and why do we wind up in these groups? Considering they make up so much of the way we identify ourselves, it is curious how we often find ourselves bought in, with only the smallest events pushing us in either direction. As we ponder the various groups in our lives \u2014 whether they are groups we are in, groups we are excluded from, or groups we find ourselves caught between \u2014 what considerations are necessary to critically analyze them not only as categorizing structures, but also as reflections \u2014 and extensions \u2014 of our identities?<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Life\u2019s Like an Activities Fair (Eliot)<\/b>
\n<\/span>College isn\u2019t <\/span>really <\/span><\/i>about school (eek! sorry Professor). While I\u2019ve thoroughly enjoyed the coursework in my four years here, my Harvard experience is defined by the various groups I\u2019ve been a part of outside the classroom. Presently, I\u2019m devoting all my out-of-class time to directing my a cappella group, the Harvard Opportunes. At other junctures, however, I\u2019ve written sports for <\/span>The Crimson<\/span><\/i>, played Club Squash, and helped found Harvard\u2019s first Product Management organization, Product Lab.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I still remember the overwhelming feeling of having hundreds of student organizations yelling at me to write my name down at Harvard\u2019s Activities Fair four years ago. There were impossibly many decisions to make that day, and even more once I entered various comp\/audition processes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As a senior, I\u2019ve had a chance to reflect on why I fretted over these choices so much. On one hand, I just knew that I wanted to do a lot of stuff \u2014 going into college, I was universally encouraged by my parents and mentors to join many clubs and try a bunch of new things. Indeed, in line with this advice, studies have shown that extracurricular involvement in college is generally associated with desirable outcomes, including developing a sense of purpose, increasing self-confidence, and forming mature interpersonal relationships (i.e., Hood, 1984; Abrahamowicz, 1988; Martin, 2000).<\/span><\/p>\n

However, this class has led me to believe I cared so much about my extracurricular selections because of the social implications of joining a group. We\u2019ve discussed how belonging and affiliation are fundamental human needs (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). As college students, it makes sense that this dependency trickles down to the student organizations we choose to engage in. One study shows that, among students participating in extracurricular activities, students with high belonging in college had lower perceived stress and more life satisfaction (Civitci 2015). Importantly, this trend was not found in individuals who did NOT participate in extracurricular activities (Civitci 2015). This is not to say that blindly participating in extracurriculars <\/span>increases<\/span><\/i> feelings of belonging \u2014 rather, the analysis shows that participating in extracurricular activities AND feeling like we belong in them uniquely positions us to live better, fuller, and less stressful lives on campus.<\/span><\/p>\n

With this in mind, I better understand why I faced the Activities Fair with apprehension in addition to excitement. I think I understood at some level that my decisions would not just determine my <\/span>membership<\/span><\/i> in a group; rather, I was choosing who I would affiliate with the next four years, and which spaces would lead me to the fullest college experience by making me feel like I belonged. If given a chance to, I would have told freshman me that groups boil down to the people in them and the atmosphere they embody, and urged him to pay attention to which ones he could see himself truly belonging in. Having said that, I\u2019m more than happy with how things turned out. To close out with a lyric from a song the Opportunes sing together every year:<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been lonely, I\u2019ve been cheated,<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been misunderstood<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been washed up, I\u2019ve been put down<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Told I\u2019m no good<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But with you I belong<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

\u2018Cause you helped me be strong<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a change in my life<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Since you came along<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

-Change in My Life, obp Rockapella<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The In-Betweens Club (Rachel)<\/b><\/p>\n

Though it\u2019s not a registered student organization, I consider myself to be part of the \u201cin-betweens\u201d club. By that I mean, many of my identities, when tied to different social groups, lie in the \u201cin-betweens\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Humans have a fundamental need to belong (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Humans also love to belong in groups\u2013 and even understanding others thoughts and feelings can be bound to this group membership (Hackel et al 2013). So where does that leave us who fall in the middle? The race of the future\u201d, a theoretical concept posited by philosopher <\/span>Richard von Coudenhove-Kalergi<\/span><\/a> in <\/span>Practical Idealism<\/span><\/i>, is the idea that in the future, all humans will become mixed-race, rather than be divided by racial groups. While this idea may seem ludicrous, currently, 10.2% of the US population identifies as multiracial, and \u201cin 2020, <\/span>the White and Some Other Race population category increased by over 1000%\u201d (Coudenhove-Kalergi 2019). The number of multi-racial individuals is significant, and is continuing to rise over time. When looking at the numbers, some may say our racial divides may slowly resolve, as multiracial identities become the norm, and, that the \u201crace of the future\u201d will unite us together. However, the reality is quite different.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Multiracial people are at the highest risk to die by suicide in comparison to monoracial peers (Wong et al 2012). The population, albeit growing, faces unique struggles, especially related to identity and group membership. These stark contrasts between multiracial and monoracial people indicate a specific vulnerability within this population that has left researchers stumped, but is it really that complicated?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The experience of being multiracial means one may not feel they truly belong to a singular racial identity, and often is unable to find community within multiracial identity groups. In a study by Franco, Durkee, and McElroy-Hetzel, researchers found that multiracial individuals experience discrimination on a familial level, leading to disruptions in family cohesion and poorer wellbeing (2021). Furthermore, even when multiracial people do identify with a single racial identity, experiences of being invalidated further impact their mental health and well-being, and force them into the role of the \u201cother\u201d, rather than belonging. (Franco et al 2021). Multiracial people, unable to feel \u201cfull\u201d membership into one community, and often appearing to be \u201cracially ambiguous\u201d are often invalidated when claiming membership to their communities, and discriminated against by the people closest to them. Small experiences remind one of this experience of being othered, such as being forced to choose the \u201cother\u201d box on demographic surveys, or having to pick and choose different racial categories that may not fit one\u2019s sense of identity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When we consider how salient group membership is, and how important it is to feel a sense of belonging, it ultimately makes sense that multiracial have poorer mental health outcomes: it\u2019s hard to belong when there is no perfect box to fit in to. Though each community has diversity within its bounds, the unique experiences that each multiracial individual faces makes it more difficult to truly belong. Being multiracial is constantly a pull in between two (or more) different sides, in between groups, identities, and sometimes, even belonging. Following, is a poem I wrote about my experience, after filling out a survey for a study at Harvard, in 2021.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cother\u201d<\/i><\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m tired of having to check the box for other.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m tired of having to choose between my father and my mother<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you hispanic\/latino? No.<\/span><\/p>\n

Check the box marking your race: [ ] White [ ] Black [ ] American Indian\/Or Alaska Native [ ] Asian or Pacific Islander [ ] \u201cSome other race\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Some other race?<\/span><\/p>\n

What does it mean for every person whose parents don\u2019t have the same face to be \u201csome\u201d other?<\/span><\/p>\n

Am I the same as someone who grew up half-black?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never been afraid of having a bullet lodged in my back.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Always an other.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re lucky, you can check multiple boxes.<\/span><\/p>\n

But why is\u2013\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

why is my entire racial identity and understanding\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

shoved into the markings of these boxes?<\/span><\/p>\n

Always an other, never one box.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Always an other, never my own box.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How do I explain that I\u2019ve never felt at home in one box or another, that my own understanding is too complicated to summarize in a check-box<\/span><\/p>\n

What does it mean for people to look at me and think that I\u2019m hispanic, to get too confused to call me the right racial slurs, to not be able to pronounce my last name, trapped in my own paradox<\/span><\/p>\n

other, other, other.<\/span><\/p>\n

we other people we don\u2019t understand but why is there not even an attempt to understand us others<\/span><\/p>\n

what does it mean to be an other?<\/span><\/p>\n

i\u2019m tired of these casual polls and misunderstandings<\/span><\/p>\n

being forced to choose, the form demanding<\/span><\/p>\n

white privilege or model minority?<\/span><\/p>\n

i\u2019ve spent years trying to justify that i\u2019m asian enough, that my culture is mine, that i\u2019m truly one of my people, that our stories align<\/span><\/p>\n

but at the end of the day<\/span><\/p>\n

on every survey<\/span><\/p>\n

i\u2019m an other.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

~ rz (2021)<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sources:<\/span><\/p>\n

Abrahamowicz, D. (1988). College involvement, perceptions, and satisfaction: A study of membership in student organizations. Journal of College Student Development, 29, 233\u2013238.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. <\/span>Psychological Bulletin, 117<\/span><\/i>(3), 497\u2013529<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Bureau, U. C. (n.d.). <\/span>2020 Census Illuminates Racial and Ethnic Composition of the Country<\/span><\/i>. Census.Gov. Retrieved March 29, 2023, from<\/span> https:\/\/www.census.gov\/library\/stories\/2021\/08\/improved-race-ethnicity-measures-reveal-united-states-population-much-more-multiracial.html<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00c7ivitci, A. (2015). Perceived stress and life satisfaction in college students: Belonging and extracurricular participation as moderators. <\/span>Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>205<\/span><\/i>, 271-281.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Coudenhove-Kalergi, R. (2019). <\/span>Practical Idealism: The Kalergi Plan to destroy European peoples<\/span><\/i> (D. Ekmektsis, Trans.). Omnia Veritas Ltd.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Franco, M., Durkee, M., & McElroy-Heltzel, S. (2021). Discrimination comes in layers: Dimensions of discrimination and mental health for multiracial people. <\/span>Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority Psychology<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>27<\/span><\/i>, 343\u2013353.<\/span> https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1037\/cdp0000441<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Hackel, L. M., Looser, C. E., & Van Bavel, J. J. (2014). Group membership alters the threshold for mind perception: The role of social identity, collective identification, and intergroup threat. <\/span>Journal of Experimental Social Psychology<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>52<\/span><\/i>, 15-23.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hood, A. B. (1984). Student development: Does participation affect growth? Bulletin of the Association of College Unions-International, 54, 16\u201319.<\/span><\/p>\n

Martin, L. M. (2000). The relationship of college experiences to psychosocial outcomes in students. Journal of College Student Development, 41, 294\u2013303.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Wong, S. S., Sugimoto-Matsuda, J. J., Chang, J. Y., & Hishinuma, E. S. (2012). Ethnic Differences in Risk Factors For Suicide Among American High School Students, 2009: The Vulnerability of Multiracial and Pacific Islander Adolescents. <\/span>Archives of Suicide Research<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>16<\/span><\/i>(2), 159\u2013173.<\/span> https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1080\/13811118.2012.667334<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Rachel Zhou and Eliot Min   Everyone likes to feel like they are a part of something bigger than themselves\u2013 a friend group, a house, a college, or even a country. These affiliations can define how others perceive us, as well as how we perceive ourselves. How and why do we wind up in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11770,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-313","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11770"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=313"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":318,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/313\/revisions\/318"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=313"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=313"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}