{"id":19,"date":"2020-10-02T14:33:03","date_gmt":"2020-10-02T14:33:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/?p=19"},"modified":"2020-10-04T01:02:25","modified_gmt":"2020-10-04T01:02:25","slug":"the-empatea-on-empathy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/2020\/10\/02\/the-empatea-on-empathy\/","title":{"rendered":"The (empa)TEA on Empathy"},"content":{"rendered":"

When you were younger, did you ever slip your feet into shoes that weren\u2019t yours? Maybe you tramped around the house in a parent\u2019s slippers that dwarfed your own, wondering what it would be like to have such big feet. Or maybe you\u2019ve squeezed your toes into someone\u2019s miniscule flip flops, exclaiming to their owner, \u201cAwww you have such small feet!\u201d as you shuffle across the floor, heels hanging out in all their glory. Maybe you did this yesterday, we won\u2019t judge (I might– Gaby). But even if not, we\u2019re willing to bet that you\u2019ve recently put yourself in someone else\u2019s shoes, ~<\/span>metaphorically~<\/span><\/i>. This is what we call empathy. Empathy involves adopting and feeling the experiences and emotions of another person as your own. Putting yourself in their shoes, you see life from their perspective, and in doing so, you\u2019re able to more easily create new social bonds and strengthen old ones because you\u2019re vibing on the same wavelength. Sounds pretty easy, right? Well, for us, yes. In fact, it\u2019s practically second nature. But empathy is an incredibly complex capacity which most earthly creatures don\u2019t have, and even the cases of empathy that have been recorded in non-human animals are limited in both frequency and extent. So\u2026 what\u2019s so special about empathy in humans and what does it do for us? Who do we show empathy to, and is it easier or harder to do depending on the situation? Buckle up. We\u2019re going to spill the (empa)TEA on empathy.<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u2022 – \u2022 – \u2022 –<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the big idea with empathy in humans? How is it helpful to us?<\/span><\/span> -Gaby<\/span><\/p>\n

-AYOO, leave your human exceptionalism at the door check: while I do believe that the study of our social-cognitive capacities are fascinating given that we as humans are ULTRA-social beings, I think it\u2019s important to recognize that 1) just because such capacities haven\u2019t been observed in other species doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t exist and 2) if they don\u2019t exist it\u2019s just because they don\u2019t NEED it to survive and be the cool and unique animals they are-<\/span><\/p>\n

Alright. Y\u2019all KNOW we can\u2019t talk about human empathy without getting into videos of babies. So here. Meet Addison and Nathan:<\/span> Baby Empathy<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

You might be asking yourself, <\/span>what just happened?<\/span><\/i> Why did baby Addison just randomly (?) start crying right after baby Nathan did (both of whom have probably spent a year MAX in this world)? I\u2019ll give you a hint: it\u2019s not random at all! Frans de Waal, a Dutch primatologist and ethologist, would call it \u201cemotional contagion\u201d, where one party (baby Addison) is affected by another\u2019s (baby Nathan) emotional\/arousal state (de Waal, 2008). Many believe this to be the lowest level of empathic processes shared by all animals (humans, non-human primates, rats and mice, pigeons, oh my!) who are capable of exhibiting some extent of empathy. For humans in particular, though, it\u2019s insane to me that already as wee babs we have this innate tendency to recognize others and their emotions and respond in certain ways. And it only gets better! Literally!<\/span><\/p>\n

Ok Gaby, really cool, but what\u2019s the use for it? Other animals might not need it to survive, but why do we?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Well. If you think about <\/span>what we look like<\/b> vs. <\/span>what we think like<\/b>, it actually makes a lot of sense. From a long long long long time ago (~7 million years ago to be kinda ish exact) when the human lineage diverged from bonobos and chimpanzees up to now, we\u2019ve lost A LOT of survival perks along the way. We lost the impressive ability to swing from trees (also known as brachiation,,, can you tell I\u2019m an evolutionary bio major yet?), we started walking on two legs and became slower, we lost muscle definition, we lost our sharp teeth\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026…\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

BUT, we gained a whole lot in the process, too. In particular, we started working together in groups, and our brains started to grow and allow for us to use our environment to our advantage through tool-use and other forms of culture. We work better in groups and therefore face a greater chance of survival if we help each other out, and what better way to make sure we help each other out than having systems in our brain that easily allow for us to <\/span>feel<\/span><\/i>\u2122<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>care<\/span><\/i>\u2122<\/span><\/i> for others in pain or distress? Boom. Empathy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Obviously, it\u2019s not a perfect system, and we\u2019ve all had our tough times with empathy (more on this to come from Julie). Just last week, I tried to approach a problem that one of my closest friends was facing from his perspective, and ended up giving him absolutely atrocious advice (HEYO alliteration) because I was still unconsciously assuming what I would do in that situation even though we are radically different people. Eh, you win some you lose some. That dude for sure isn\u2019t asking for my help any time soon, but HEY, we\u2019re just talking about the fact that I could even TRY to look at something from his perspective and how that\u2019s still heckin\u2019 awesome. What a neat and quirky trait of ours, you feel what I\u2019m saying? (haha, get it, feel because empathy haha)<\/span><\/p>\n

via GIPHY<\/a><\/p>\n

Why empathy isn\u2019t always easy<\/span><\/span> -Julie<\/span><\/p>\n

So now that Gaby, with her badass human evolutionary biology expertise, has given us the lowdown, it\u2019s time to dive a little deeper into the nooks and crannies of when you and I display empathy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Just because babies can empathize with others doesn\u2019t mean that empathy always comes easily. As with most things in life, there are caveats, and balance is key.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

First of all, it\u2019s difficult to try on someone else\u2019s shoes when you’re struggling to tie your own. Maybe you lost your temper with your sibling who ate the last donut you were craving. Maybe you\u2019ve found yourself silently cursing the unbearably slow walker in your path before an important meeting. It\u2019s tough to live, laugh, love in trying times. If you\u2019re reading this in 2020, we\u2019re literally living through a global pandemic, if you\u2019re not feeling like a ray of sunshine, don\u2019t sweat it. <\/span>It\u2019s ok to not be ok sometimes<\/b>. Like actually though.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

~ Queue <\/span>\u201c<\/span>Human\u201d by Christina Perri<\/span><\/a>. ~<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re reading this after the pandemic… hi king\/queen\/anything in between, stop reading this right now and go rage with as many people as possible.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

My point is, sometimes when your own basic needs aren\u2019t met, it can be tough to empathize with others. We learned in our class lecture that empathy takes energy, and so does everything else we do, our energy isn\u2019t limitless, but it can be recharged with self-care.<\/span><\/p>\n

One need, however, that can <\/span>increase our ability to empathize with others <\/b>is the need to belong. Picket et al. (2004) demonstrated that people who feel a higher need to belong become more aware of and sensitive to both positive and negative social cues and are better at inferring another\u2019s state of mind. This is helpful when you\u2019re not feeling socially connected because empathizing with others, as you know by now, can be a stepping stone to forming connections and bonds.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

On the other hand, when you\u2019re feeling socially secure things get tricky. This brings us to <\/span>ingroups and outgroups<\/b>. When you feel like you\u2019re part of a group, your ability to empathize with others that are not in the group, in an outgroup, can be subpar. Cikara et al. (2011) found that structures in the brain related to punishment, the anterior cingulate cortex and insula, are engaged when your group fails and a rival group succeeds. They also found that a part of the brain associated with rewards, the ventral striatum, is activated when your group succeeds and the rival group fails, and this was also correlated with an increase in willingness to harm a rival. Feeling pleasure from another\u2019s pain sounds messed up, yet it happens often enough to have a fancy name, schadenfreude. But if your eyes began glazing at all that science, just know that <\/span>we often empathize more with people we are similar to (ingroups, <\/b>like friends, family, race, socioeconomic status). As mentioned above and in our class lecture, empathy takes energy, so we have to be discerning in who we invest it in, and those similar to us are our first choices because we trust them.<\/span><\/p>\n

I think many people express empathy when it\u2019s fitting and possible to do so. Perhaps it\u2019s a switch that can be both automatically and manually turned on. But first other switches have to be turned on. For example, if you\u2019re mentally and physically exhausted, your energy switch is off, so it\u2019s going to be a lot harder to empathize with others. It might also take an extra switch to empathize with someone different from you. I believe you can shift your thoughts and make changes to your physical body (i.e. focus on the present and take deep breaths to recalibrate yourself) to manually turn back on that empathy switch, but only if you really want to.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For others, the empathy switch is always on, shining its light. In essence, this sounds great, but it definitely takes work to keep the light on without burning out. If this is you, just make sure you\u2019re taking care of yourself! Empathy is important, but self-care and balance is key.<\/span><\/p>\n

– \u2022 – \u2022 – \u2022 –<\/p>\n

I think for me (Gaby), what\u2019s crazy about empathy is that it\u2019s everywhere and happens all the time. Doesn\u2019t matter who you are, where you are, how old you are, what you look like, think like, act like– you\u2019re gonna experience empathy in some way or another. It makes me think about how even in a world where there is currently so much division and hate, there is still capacity for so much love and caring about others and this can\u2019t be taken away no matter how hard people try (granted, there should be more love and empathy but that\u2019s a rant for another day). So yeah. It\u2019s everywhere. It\u2019s so straightforward and ingrained into our human nature but so incredibly complicated and difficult to navigate at times, and yet, we can\u2019t get (and give) enough. And when it does happen to be complicated and difficult, I (Julie) think the best thing you can do is to acknowledge it, because recognizing a problem is the first step to finding a solution. Then from there, remind yourself that whoever you\u2019re interacting with is a human, too, with thoughts, goals, dreams, and feelings. People can tell when you\u2019re truly listening to what they have to say and when you truly care. Plus, empathy is amazing in that it allows you to experience something that isn\u2019t happening to you; I think that sounds pretty magical. So, even if someone\u2019s shoes don\u2019t quite fit your feet, still take that time to try them on and look at life from a different perspective, feeling their emotions. And hey, maybe you\u2019ll have a Cinderella moment, and the shoes will be the perfect fit. We’d love that for you \ud83d\ude09<\/span><\/p>\n

And that’s the (empa<\/em>)tea on that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

xoxo,<\/p>\n

Gaby + Julie<\/p>\n

References<\/b><\/p>\n

Amaral, J. (2014, December 14). <\/span>Baby Empathy<\/span><\/i> [Video]. YouTube. https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=MgEElK8vuVU<\/span><\/p>\n

Cikara, M., Botvinick, M., Fiske, S. (2011). Us Versus Them: Social Identity Shapes Neural Responses to Intergroup Competition and Harm. <\/span>Psychological Science<\/span><\/i>, 22(3), 306\u2013313.<\/span><\/p>\n

de Waal, F. (2008). Putting the Altruism Back into Altruism: The Evolution of Empathy. <\/span>Annual Review of Psychology<\/span><\/i>, 59, 279\u2013300<\/span><\/p>\n

Picket, C., Gardner, W., Knowles, M. (2004). Getting a Cue: The Need to Belong and Enhanced Sensitivity to Social Cues. <\/span>Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin<\/span><\/i>, 30(9), 1095-1107.<\/span><\/p>\n

Vertudaches, L. (2015). <\/span>Sad Best Friends<\/span><\/i>. [GIF]. GIPHY. <\/span>https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/3oEdv4hwWTzBhWvaU0\/giphy.gif<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you were younger, did you ever slip your feet into shoes that weren\u2019t yours? Maybe you tramped around the house in a parent\u2019s slippers that dwarfed your own, wondering what it would be like to have such big feet. Or maybe you\u2019ve squeezed your toes into someone\u2019s miniscule flip flops, exclaiming to their owner, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9877,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9877"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":52,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions\/52"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/socialconnection\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}