{"id":2437,"date":"2012-01-28T22:19:52","date_gmt":"2012-01-29T02:19:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/sj\/?p=2437"},"modified":"2015-10-29T00:36:34","modified_gmt":"2015-10-29T04:36:34","slug":"celebrity-deathmatch-sendak-v-colbert-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/2012\/01\/28\/celebrity-deathmatch-sendak-v-colbert-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Celebrity Deathmatch: Sendak v. Colbert, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>See also <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/sj\/2012\/01\/26\/celebrity-deathmatch-sendak-v-colbert\/\">Part 1<\/a>\u00a0&#8230; and <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/sj\/2012\/05\/09\/facing-death-sendak-v-colbert-part-3\/\">Part 3<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><big><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.colbertnation.com\/the-colbert-report-videos\/406902\/january-25-2012\/grim-colberty-tales-with-maurice-sendak-pt--2\">Act 2<\/a><\/strong><\/big><\/p>\n<pre><strong>Colbert<\/strong>: What do you think of the current state \r\nof children's lit?\r\n <strong>Sendak<\/strong>:  Abysmal.\r\n<strong>Colbert<\/strong>: There's so much of it though!\r\n <strong>Sendak<\/strong>:  That's what makes it abysmal.\r\n\r\nLet's talk about some of your competition.  \r\n  Ok.\r\nGive me your reviews.\r\n\r\n<em>Green Eggs and Ham<\/em>?\r\n  Good.  \r\nGood. <em>Green Eggs And Ham<\/em>, \"Good\".\r\n  Everything by Seuss is good.\r\nReally?\r\n  yeah.  \r\n\r\n<em>Give A Mouse A Cookie<\/em>.\r\n   Euh!\r\nI'm with you on that one.  Cause, \r\nyou shouldn't give a mouse a cookie, \r\nMouse should *earn* the cookie.\r\n  You should open the door and say \r\n  'get the hell out of my house!'\r\nThe mouse should be exterminated. \r\n  Yeah.\r\nI'm with you on that one.\r\n\r\n<em>Curious George<\/em>?\r\n  Great.\r\n<em>Curious George<\/em>, ok.  \r\nI don't believe in monkeys in the house either.\r\n  You don't like it?\r\nNo, no.  they throw their feces.\r\n  They do, they do throw--\r\nMonkeys bite your jaw off, they will bite your face off\r\n  He wouldn't have done that.\r\nNo, no, but he could have at any moment.\r\n \r\nSo have I changed your mind on <em>Curious George<\/em>?\r\n  no.\r\nSo you're in favor of children \r\ngetting their faces bitten off.\r\n   I'm in favor of --\r\nok, you- you've made it clear.\r\n\r\n<em>Girl with the Dragon Tattoo<\/em>?  you know that one?\r\n  Isn't that an adult novel?\r\nThat's kind of prejudiced of you, to say that a book \r\nhas to be adult, or a book has to be child.\r\nSomeone who's been so ghettoized in their work, would say \r\nthat a child couldn't read a book about murder \r\nand sadomasochism...\r\n  You trapped me!  you trapped me!  \r\nCheckmate, sir.  Check...\r\n  You're wrong, but you trapped me.\r\nAm i? Am i? \r\n  Yeah!\r\nOh, so <em>other<\/em> people can be pigeon-holed, but \r\nyou can't do that to Maurice Sendak.  That's a crime.\r\n  How about that!\r\nH'm!, interesting.\r\n  Don't I deserve that?\r\nDouble-standard much, Mo?\r\n  (laughs)\r\n\r\nLet's shift gears.  Every celebrity is out there \r\ncashing in on children's books.  \r\nAnd I want in.   \r\nWhat does it take for a celebrity to make \r\na successful book?  What do I gotta do?\r\n  Well, you've started already by being... an idiot.  \r\n  That is already the very first demand.  \r\nOk, idiot.  \r\n  First is idiot.\r\nHow do you spell that?\r\n  (laughs)\r\n  After that, you know the formula.\r\nYou just need, like an animal, and... \r\nsomething they've lost.\r\n  Well yes, I mean most books for children are very bad.\r\n<em>The Squirrel Lost Its Mittens<\/em>.\r\n  There you go.\r\n<em>The Buffalo... Lost Its Gun<\/em>.\r\n  You've just written two children's books!\r\n\r\nI've got a story. can I read it to you!\r\n  (winces in pain)  \r\n  Do you *really* have to?\r\nIt's called \"<em>I am a Pole, and So Can You!<\/em>\"\r\n  Ok, yes! I can't wait to hear it.\r\n\r\n== [Colbert reads] ==\r\n<em>I AM A POLE AND SO CAN YOU<\/em>\r\n\r\nI am a pole, that much is clear to me.\r\nBut just what type of pole could I possibly be?\r\nI tried to be a pole for vaulting, \r\nbut I couldn't seem to bend.\r\nI would love to be a ski pole, \r\nbut for that I'd need a friend.\r\n\r\nI wished I was the North Pole, \r\nand marked the home of Santa,\r\nOr even just a Gallup Poll calling voters in Atlanta.\r\nI considered fireman's and fishing,\r\nWas a totem for some time.\r\n\r\nAnd even tried to be a stripper pole, \r\nbut I couldn't stand the grime.\r\nBut then one day, in my depths of despair, \r\nSome scouts brought me Old Glory as something to wear.\r\nAnd while she danced and she waved,\r\nIt became clear to me, \r\nI am the best kind of pole you can possibly be.\r\nI am an American Flag pole.\r\n\r\nNow pledge allegiance, or else.\r\n==\r\n\r\n  (laughing)\r\nWhat do you think?\r\n  The sad thing is, I like it!\r\nCan I get that as a blurb?  \r\n  Oh, absolutely!\r\n\"The sad thing is I like it...\"\r\n  The sad thing is I like it.\r\n\"...  --Maurice Sendak.\"\r\n  That's a good blurb!\r\n\r\n  And all you need to do is get a popular illustrator \r\n  who has a horrible sene of design, no taste for type\r\n  nothing about the aesthetics for \r\n  what a picture book could look like,\r\n  and you will probably make a lot of money.\r\n\r\nWill you teach me how to draw?\r\n  No.\r\nWell that is a lovely offer, I accept.\r\n  (laughs)\r\n   \r\n== Cut to Sendak's studio ==\r\n\r\nSo this is where you do all your work?\r\n  Yeah, I'm afraid so.\r\nWell I'm trying to figure out how to draw a pole.  \r\nI'm not very good at drawing.\r\nLet me draw a pole here...\r\nYou ever uh, sniff your marker?  \r\n  No... is that good?  a good thing?\r\nIt's a cheap high.  be careful...\r\n  It does, it does!\r\nGo ahead, go ahead.  \r\nI assume you were huffing these things \r\nwhen you drew <em>Where The Wild Things Are<\/em>\r\n  \"I remember Pearl Harbor... \r\n  ta da da da da da da... ya da da da, ya da da da, \r\n  Ya Da DA DA DA DA DA!\"\r\nSee how great these markers are?  no really.\r\n  That pulled the song right out of me, \r\n  right out of my nose!\r\n\r\nI got a mountain, got some\r\n  clouds\r\nand half a sun...\r\nYou drew a Polish woman with a pole!  \r\n  Holding a pole\r\nPole with a pole.  She could be a Polish stripper.\r\n  That's right\r\n\r\nAny advice, any advice here?\r\n  No... just, I would leave it alone, because it has \r\n  a kind of delicacy, and irrationality, and, and... \r\n  terrible quality of -- ordinariness.\r\n\"Terribly ordinary!\" - Maurice Sendak\r\nThat's another great blurb!  \r\n  Supremely ordinary!\r\n\r\nWell, Moishe... I think with my fantastic book idea, \r\nmy words, my drawings and your blurb, \r\nI think we've got a hit here.\r\n  I've- I know we do. \r\nThank you, sir.\r\n\r\n\r\n== Colbert recaps ==\r\nFolks, once I get a publisher, \r\n<em>I AM A POLE (AND SO CAN YOU!)<\/em> \r\nwill be available in bookstores everywhere!\r\nIn hardcover, paperback, maybe even in ebook.  \r\nwhat do you say about that, Maurice?\r\n\r\n[Flashback to earlier interview]\r\n  Fuck them is what I say!  \r\n  I hate those ebooks.  \r\n  They *cannot* be the future.  \r\n  They may well be, I will be dead, I won't give a shit!\r\n[\/Flashback]\r\n\r\n<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>See also Part 1\u00a0&#8230; and Part 3. Act 2 Colbert: What do you think of the current state of children&#8217;s lit? Sendak: Abysmal. Colbert: There&#8217;s so much of it though! Sendak: That&#8217;s what makes it abysmal. Let&#8217;s talk about some of your competition. Ok. Give me your reviews. Green Eggs and Ham? Good. Good. Green [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1202,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[206,1657,210,205],"tags":[60582,60584,60583,6252],"class_list":["post-2437","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-la-mod","category-blogroll","category-chain-gang","category-glory-glory-glory","tag-colbert","tag-part-2","tag-sendak","tag-storytelling"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iVvB-Dj","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2437","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1202"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2437"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2437\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3950,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2437\/revisions\/3950"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2437"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2437"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/sj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2437"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}