This is a synthesis\u00a0of variants of a delicious spelling poem<\/strong>, titled variously “The Chaos<\/a><\/em>” and “Dearest creature in creation<\/em>“, by Gerard Nolst Trenit\u00e9<\/strong> (1870-1946). It was revised often\u00a0by the author, with no clear final version. Trenit\u00e9 collected\u00a0interesting words and would fit them in over the years;\u00a0first\u00a0into a line or couplet, then fitting that into a verse, then changing its order as part of the whole. Filler text (connecting the tricky words into paragraphs) was often changed.<\/p>\n I started with\u00a0the English Spelling Society version<\/a>\u00a0from 1994 (it went\u00a0offline in 2013; glad to have archived it), and incorporated\u00a0bits from\u00a0other\u00a0versions, to include as many of his examples as possible.\u00a0See also the 1920 version from “Drop Your Foreign Accent<\/em>“, on Wikisource<\/a>.<\/p>\n The result is split into four sections, with highlights and line numbers. Most versions agreed up to verse 18 and closed with the stanzas\u00a0in C. Later versions added sections A and B with flexible order and composition.<\/p>\n Lines in each stanza should rhyme exactly<\/em>. Updates<\/strong><\/p>\n Key The Chaos<\/strong><\/span> 1<\/sub> I will keep you, Susy, busy<\/em>, 2<\/sub> Sword<\/em> and sward, retain<\/em> and Britain<\/em> 3<\/sub> Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,<\/em> 4<\/sub> Wholly, holly, signal, signing<\/em>, 5<\/sub> One, anemone, Balmoral,<\/em> 6<\/sub> Have you ever yet endeavoured<\/em> 7<\/sub> Banquet<\/em> is not nearly parquet<\/strong><\/em>, 8<\/sub> Is your r<\/strong><\/em> correct in higher<\/em>? 9<\/sub> Twopence<\/strong>, threepence. \u00a0Tease<\/em> is easy<\/em>, 10<\/sub> Would you like some more? You’ll have it<\/em>! 11<\/sub> Mark the difference, moreover<\/em>, 12<\/sub> Suit, suite, ruin<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 Circuit, conduit<\/strong><\/em> 13<\/sub>
\nSequential similarly-spelled italicized words should not<\/em>.
\nPrepare your tongue<\/em>, and read it out loud!<\/p>\n\n
\n<\/strong>Italics<\/em> \u00a0\u00a0 \u2013\u00a0 Words whose pronunciation and spelling are contrasted.<\/span>
\nBold<\/strong> \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u2013\u00a0 Archaic, British variant, or varies by dialect. Worth a double-check.
\nBold letters in an unbolded word are articulated.\u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span>
\n<!–\u00a0 –> \u00a0 \u2013\u00a0 Pronunciation guide for a nearby bold<\/strong> word.<\/span>
\nUnderline<\/span>\u00a0\u2013 filler text that varies by version &\u00a0doesn’t quite fit<\/span><\/p>\n
\nGerard Nolst Trenit\u00e9+<\/sup><\/small><\/p>\n
\nDearest creature<\/em> in creation<\/em>
\nLearning English pronunciation<\/em>,
\nI will teach you in my verse<\/em>
\nSounds like corpse, corps, horse<\/em> and worse<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nMake your head<\/em> with heat<\/em> grow dizzy<\/em>;
\nTear<\/em> in eye, your dress you’ll tear<\/em>;
\nQueer<\/em>, fair seer, hear<\/em> my prayer<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nPray<\/em>, console your loving poet<\/em>,
\nMake my coat look new<\/em>, dear, sew it<\/em>! \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 10
\nJust compare heart, hear<\/em> and heard<\/em>,
\nDies<\/em> and diet, lord<\/em> and word<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\n(Mind the latter how it’s written<\/em>).
\nMade<\/em> has not the sound of bade<\/em>,
\nSay\u2013said, pay\u2013paid, laid<\/em> but plaid<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nNow I surely will not plague you<\/em>
\nWith such words as vague<\/em> and ague<\/em>,
\nBut be careful how you speak<\/em>,
\nSay: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak, \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>20<\/p>\n
\nRecipe, pipe, studding-sail<\/strong>, choir;<\/em>
\nWoven, oven, how<\/em> and low<\/em>, \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <!– stunsull –>
\nScript, receipt, shoe, poem, toe<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nHear me say, devoid of\u00a0trickery<\/em>:
\nDaughter<\/em>, laughter<\/em> and Terpsichore<\/em>,
\nTyphoid, measles, topsails<\/strong>, aisles<\/em>,
\nExiles, similes, reviles<\/em>. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 <!– tossulls –><\/p>\n
\nAnd examining<\/em>, but mining<\/em>,\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 30
\nScholar, vicar<\/em>, and cigar<\/em>,
\nSolar, mica, war<\/em> and far<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nLumb<\/strong>er, plumber, bier<\/em>, but brier<\/em>,
\nAdmirable, desirable<\/em>; admire<\/em>, desire<\/em>.\u00a0 <!– brome –>
\nTopsham, brougham<\/strong>, renown<\/em>, but known<\/em>,
\nKnowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nKitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.<\/em>
\nGertrude, German, wind<\/em> and wind<\/em>
\nBeau, queue, kindred<\/em>, but mankind<\/em>.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 40<\/p>\n
\nTortoise, turquoise, chamois<\/em> leather,
\nreading, Reading, heathen, heather<\/em>.
\nThis phonetic labyrinth<\/em>
\nGives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nTo pronounce revered<\/em> and severed<\/em>,
\nDemon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,<\/em>
\nPeter, petrol <\/em>and patrol<\/em>?<\/p>\n
\nBillet<\/em> does not end like ballet<\/em>;
\nWallet, mallet; bouquet, chalet<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 50
\nBlood<\/em> and flood<\/em> are not like food<\/em>,
\nNor is mould<\/em> like should<\/em> and would<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nWhich exactly<\/em> rhymes with khaki<\/em>.
\nDiscount, viscount, load<\/em> and broad<\/em>,
\nToward<\/em>, to forward<\/em>, to reward<\/em>,<\/p>\n
\nRicocheted, crocheting, croquet<\/em>?
\nRight! Your pronunciation\u2019s OK<\/em>.
\nRounded, wounded, grieve<\/em> and sieve<\/em>,
\nFriend<\/em> and fiend, alive<\/em> and live<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 60<\/p>\n
\nKeats says it rhymes with Thalia<\/em>.
\nH<\/strong>ugh<\/em> but hug<\/em>, and hood<\/em> but hoot<\/em>,
\nBuoyant, minute<\/em>, but minute<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nSay abscission<\/em> with precis<\/strong>ion<\/em>,
\nthen position<\/em> and transition<\/em>.
\nCorral, rally, rhythm, rhyme,<\/em>
\nDiaphragm, stigma, paradigm.<\/em><\/p>\n
\nBut lease, please, cease, grease<\/em> and greasy<\/em>?\u00a0 \u00a0 70
\nCornice, nice, valise, revise,\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>
\nBier, rabies, lullabies<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nOf such puzzling words as nauseous<\/em>,
\nRhyming well with cautious, tortious<\/em>,
\nYou\u2019ll envelop<\/em> lists, I hope<\/em>,
\nIn<\/em> a linen envelope<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nAffidavit, David, davit<\/em>.
\nTo abjure<\/em>, to perjure<\/em>. \u00a0 Sheik<\/em>
\nSounds not like Czech<\/em> or chic,<\/em> but ache<\/em>. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 80<\/p>\n
\nLiberty, library, heave<\/em> and heaven<\/em>,
\nRachel, ache, moustache, eleven<\/em>.
\nWe say hallowed<\/em>, but allowed<\/em>,
\nPeople, leopard, towed<\/em> but vowed<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nBetween mover, plover, Dover<\/em>.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <!– britches –>
\nLeeches, breeches<\/strong>, wise, precise<\/em>,
\nChalice<\/em>, but police<\/em> and lice<\/em>.<\/p>\n
\nCamel, constable<\/em>, unstable<\/em>,
\nPrinciple, disciple, label<\/em>. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 90
\nPetal, penal<\/em>, and canal<\/em>,
\nWait, surmise, plait<\/strong>, promise, pal<\/em>,<\/p>\n
\nRhyme with “shirk it<\/em>” and “beyond it<\/em>“.
\nAnd it can be hard to spell \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 <!– pell mell –><\/em>
\nWhen we say pall, mall,<\/em> but Pall Mall<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n
\nMuscle, muscular, gaol, iron,<\/em>