{"id":531,"date":"2007-02-15T14:54:14","date_gmt":"2007-02-15T18:54:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/shlep\/2007\/02\/15\/post-valentine-divorce-self-help\/"},"modified":"2007-02-15T15:51:43","modified_gmt":"2007-02-15T19:51:43","slug":"post-valentine-divorce-self-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/2007\/02\/15\/post-valentine-divorce-self-help\/","title":{"rendered":"post-valentine divorce self-help"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" height=\"40\" alt=\"heartarrowV\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/shlep\/files\/2007\/02\/HeartArrowGV.jpg\" width=\"34\" \/> According to <em>LegalMatch.com<\/em> (which connects prospective clients with lawyers), there is a large increase in the number of people looking for divorce lawyers in the days surrounding Valentine&#8217;s Day. &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.prweb.com\/releases\/2007\/2\/prweb505077.htm\">LegalMatch again sees Valentine&#8217;s effect<\/a>&#8221;\u00a0 (Feb. 14, 2007)\u00a0 The pressure to express love to a partner, or the idealized version of marital bliss that is displayed around February 14th may be the cause.\u00a0(via <em><a href=\"http:\/\/legalblogwatch.typepad.com\/legal_blog_watch\/2007\/02\/valentines_busy.html\">LegalBlogWatch<\/a><\/em>) Whatever the reason,\u00a0this seems like\u00a0a good time for <em>shlep<\/em> to collect information on where to go to find divorce-related self-help resources.<\/p>\n<p>Divorce is, of course, a matter of state law.\u00a0 Click to find links to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.law.cornell.edu\/topics\/Table_Divorce.htm\">divorce statutes by state<\/a>, and summaries comparing the states, from Cornell Law School&#8217;s Legal Information Institute.\u00a0 If you are considering or plan to file for divorce on your own, you can find out whether your state has divorce forms\u00a0available by using the links on\u00a0the NCSC <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ncsconline.org\/wc\/CourTopics\/statelinks.asp?id=64&amp;topic=ProSe\">State Court Forms Page<\/a>\u00a0(and see <a href=\"http:\/\/www.themodernwomansdivorceguide.com\/state_resources.php\"><em>MWDG<\/em>&#8216;s links<\/a>).\u00a0 NCSC also makes it easy to find out whether your state\u00a0judiciary offers\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.ncsconline.org\/wc\/CourTopics\/statelinks.asp?id=108&amp;topic=ProSe\">Self-Help\/Information Resources and Centers<\/a>.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>For general information about divorce law (covering topics\u00a0such as fault, child custody and support, pensions and retirement plans, marital property distribution, and more), we suggest taking a look at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.legalzoom.com\/law_library\/divorce\/\">LegalZoom&#8217;s Divorce Library<\/a>, which includes a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.legalzoom.com\/law_library\/divorce\/glossary_introduction.html\">Divorce Glossary<\/a>, and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.legalzoom.com\/law_library\/divorce\/faq_index.html\">Divorce FAQ<\/a>.\u00a0 In addition,\u00a0<em>Nolo.com<\/em> has numerous articles at its <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nolo.com\/resource.cfm\/catID\/BC93B1DE-97D2-44DB-87F20B0350BA0643\/118\/246\/\">Divorce Resource Center<\/a> (as well as books and kits for do-it-yourselfers). <a href=\"http:\/\/family-law.freeadvice.com\/divorce_law\/\">FreedAdvice.com<\/a> also offers general information on many divorce law issues.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" height=\"27\" alt=\"handshakeMF\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/shlep\/files\/2007\/02\/handhake%20mf%20flip.gif\" width=\"75\" \/>\u00a0Of course, as LegalZoom correctly\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.legalzoom.com\/law_library\/divorce\/\">says<\/a>: &#8220;If you and your spouse can agree to settle your issues, rather than going to a trial and having a judge decide them for you, the divorce process can be smoother, simpler, and much less expensive. Studies have shown that active participation by the spouses in settling a divorce is the most important factor in avoiding post-divorce conflict and fostering cooperation in parenting and support issues.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Because divorcing is\u00a0much more a personal, family, and financial\u00a0crisis than a legal one,\u00a0you might want to look at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.legalzoom.com\/law_library\/divorce\/resources.html\">this page<\/a> with links to Other divorce-related resources, and the comprehensive\u00a0materials at <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.themodernwomansdivorceguide.com\/\">MWDG<\/a><\/em>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Self-Representation:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our &#8220;<em><a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/shlep\/should-i-go-it-alone\/\">should\u00a0I go it alone<\/a><\/em>&#8221;\u00a0page\u00a0may be helpful to anyone trying to decide whether to handle their divorce without a lawyer. \u00a0\u00a0In addition, if you <a href=\"http:\/\/www.thecivildivorce.com\/divorce-services.htm\">scroll down this page<\/a>, you will find a section titled &#8220;Is self representation right for you? Take this assessment to see,&#8221; which is focused on divorce and was adapted from <em>Unbundling Your Divorce,<\/em> by M. Sue Talia (which is discussed below).\u00a0 The <a href=\"http:\/\/moddivorce.typepad.com\/the_modern_womans_divorce\/2007\/01\/representing_yo.html\">MWDG weblog<\/a> also has information on representing yourself in a divorce.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<strong>Divorce Mediation<\/strong>:\u00a0 In our posting &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/shlep\/2006\/10\/08\/divorce-mediation-mutual-self-help\/\">divorce mediation: mutual self-help<\/a>,&#8221; you&#8217;ll find a discussion of the advantages of using mediation to resolve divorcing issues.\u00a0 Mediation can work for couples who seem far apart on many issues, so long as they both sincerely want to split in a civilized manner (to avoid &#8220;the divorce from hell&#8221;) and want &#8212; even if reluctantly &#8212;\u00a0to find a\u00a0resolution that will lead to a finalized divorce.\u00a0\u00a0 If your courts have self-help centers, they are very likely to offer information about mediating divorce and other family law disputes (often called &#8220;alternative dispute resolution&#8221;).<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0Unbundled Divorce<\/strong>:\u00a0\u00a0&#8220;Unbundling&#8221; <a href=\"http:\/\/moddivorce.typepad.com\/the_modern_womans_divorce\/2007\/02\/unbundling_your.html\">means<\/a> hiring a lawyer to perform only specific\u00a0tasks agreed to in advance by lawyer and client.\u00a0 It allows a client much more control over the process and the cost.\u00a0\u00a0<em>shlep<\/em> has often discussed the <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/shlep\/2006\/11\/01\/california-expands-unbundling-to-all-civil-cases\/\">advantages of unbundled<\/a> legal services.\u00a0 Expert divorce lawyer and private judge <a href=\"http:\/\/www.privatefamilylawjudge.com\/about-mst.html\">M. Susan Talia<\/a> has written a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.divorcefromhell.com\/unbundling.html\">very good discussion<\/a> of\u00a0why unbundling makes sense\u00a0in the divorce context, at her <em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.divorcefromhell.com\/\">divorce from hell<\/a><\/em> website.\u00a0<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" height=\"64\" alt=\"UnbundlingDivorceTaliaN\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/shlep\/files\/2007\/02\/UnbundlingDivorceTaliaN.jpg\" width=\"40\" \/>\u00a0\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.privatefamilylawjudge.com\/about-mst.html\">M. Susan Talia<\/a> has also rewritten her 1997 book <em>A Client\u2019s Guide to Limited Legal Services<\/em>, with the new title\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nexusbooks.com\/nexus-publishing-unbundling.html\"><em>Unbundling Your Divorce<\/em><\/a><em>: How to Find a Lawyer to Help you Help Yourself<\/em>\u00a0(<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nexusbooks.com\/\">Nexus<\/a> Publishing Company, 2006, 122 pp.; ISBN 0-9651075-4-X, $14.95), which &#8220;is designed for litigants who want to limit the involvement of their attorney in their divorce, and do part of the legal work themselves. It tells them how to determine if they are good candidates for self-representation, how to spot the pitfalls and guard against them, how to find a lawyer to coach them, and where to turn for help.&#8221;\u00a0 You will soon be able to find excerpts from the book <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nexusbooks.com\/nexus-publishing-unbundling.html\">here<\/a>.\u00a0 For ordering information, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nexusbooks.com\/nexus-publishing-sue-contact.html\">contact<\/a> the author.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 According to LegalMatch.com (which connects prospective clients with lawyers), there is a large increase in the number of people looking for divorce lawyers in the days surrounding Valentine&#8217;s Day. &#8220;LegalMatch again sees Valentine&#8217;s effect&#8221;\u00a0 (Feb. 14, 2007)\u00a0 The pressure to express love to a partner, or the idealized version of marital bliss that is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":437,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[896],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-resources-consumer"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/531","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/437"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=531"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/531\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/shlep\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}