Q. Being with a mannequin is better than being with another person. (I like to think of myself as half of a mannequpple.) They put out and they do whatever you want. It’s hard to get your hands on the mannequins in high-end designer stores. These companies have their marketing gurus design their mannequins, and they’re the best-looking ones out there. Unfortunately, you can’t get them at any mannequin warehouse, and most salesclerks don’t respond positively to inquiries about purchasing them. So I’ve resorted to stealing them—which is easier than it sounds. The best way is to dress up looking like you’re from “corporate,” bring a clipboard with an “Artificial Model Inventory Sheet,” remove the clothes from the mannequin, pick it up, and walk out like you’re doing nothing wrong. If they question you (which has never happened to me, and I’ve stolen dozens of them), just tell them to call Wanda at some number you give them. Then keep walking. —AB in Annapolis
A Thanks for the tip, ABIA, but I was just kidding around about the mannequin fetish thing. While there’s a clothing store near my office filled with skinny male mannequins wearing the kind of clothes that turn my head, I haven’t developed a fetish for hot, headless hipsters, despite what I wrote in this space two weeks ago. So to ABIA, and all the other mannequin fetishists out there who wrote in, and to all the folks who told me that I had a fellow fetishist in comic-book artist- walking freak show R. Crumb, and to the dozens of you who wrote in to point out the upside of fucking a hot, headless hipster boy (you won’t have to listen to him talk about his vinyl collection or read the stuff he’s planning on submitting to Vice magazine), and to the one person out there who offered to send me what he thought might be snuff porn featuring a hot, beheaded hipster boy—enough already! I prefer my hipsters with heads, thank you very much, and I have no desire to hang out with R. Crumb or be the lesser half of a mannequpple. It was a joke, one I’ve come to regret.
Supongo que es la forma perfecta de ir entrando en ambiente para la visita a mi amigo Jimmy en Florencia: una cita de Dan Savage, ese superh