{"id":39,"date":"2016-02-24T18:43:47","date_gmt":"2016-02-24T18:43:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/?p=39"},"modified":"2016-02-24T18:50:04","modified_gmt":"2016-02-24T18:50:04","slug":"day-1-after-knowing-miscarriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/2016\/02\/24\/day-1-after-knowing-miscarriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 1 after knowing miscarriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sitting by the phone all morning and waiting for the clinic to confirm a date\/time for a DC surgery.<\/p>\n<p>The feeling of carrying a dead fetus in my body sucks. I want to move on (both emotionally and physically) but knowing it is still in my body, making the whole grieving process so difficult. There&#8217;s nothing you can control.<\/p>\n<p>I just want to put on my sneakers and run off my pain. But I can&#8217;t do it. My body is still functioning as a 10 weeks + old pregnancy woman&#8230;I can&#8217;t run with this gravity.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t put my mind together for the things I need to do today: study, prep for case study, replying professor&#8217;s Qs. Nonetheless, I have a group meeting this Sun. What if my surgery is being held Fri? Will I still have the strength to make the call? Or should I ditch it? But no! I need something to keep me occupied. I can&#8217;t control the life of a fetus. At least, I have a say in my education, my grade.<\/p>\n<p>My dog seems to know something is up. She has been following me all morning but didn&#8217;t harass\u00a0me for foods or anything. I think animal&#8217;s instinct is pretty remarkable. Her companion is priceless, esp in this stage.<\/p>\n<p>I just want to run. Have my head up and run as long as I can&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sitting by the phone all morning and waiting for the clinic to confirm a date\/time for a DC surgery. The feeling of carrying a dead fetus in my body sucks. I want to move on (both emotionally and physically) but knowing it is still in my body, making the whole grieving process so difficult. There&#8217;s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5612,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","post-preview"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5612"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39\/revisions\/41"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/fullcircle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}