{"id":8909,"date":"2008-02-13T13:03:04","date_gmt":"2008-02-13T18:03:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2008\/02\/13\/not-really-in-a-valentine-mood\/"},"modified":"2011-08-05T14:53:32","modified_gmt":"2011-08-05T18:53:32","slug":"not-really-in-a-valentine-mood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2008\/02\/13\/not-really-in-a-valentine-mood\/","title":{"rendered":"not really in a valentine mood"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p><em><strong>update\/lowdown<\/strong><\/em> (Feb. 15, 2008):<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>Feb. 15<br \/>\nhe buys himself<br \/>\na half-priced heart<\/p>\n<p>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230; by dagosan<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/files\/2007\/08\/checkedboxs.gif\" alt=\"\" \/> <strong><em>Afterthought <\/em><\/strong>(9 PM; Feb. 13): An article in today&#8217;s <em>New York Times<\/em> has helped me understand that there are far worse things in life than dining alone on Valentine&#8217;s Day.  See &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2008\/02\/13\/dining\/13incompatible.html?ei=5087&amp;em=&amp;en=a41dd0de79221f23&amp;ex=1203051600&amp;pagewanted=all\">I Love You, but You Love Meat<\/a>&#8221; (by Kate Murphy, Feb. 13, 2008).  This excerpt may or may not whet your appetite and open your heart to the Diety of Dietary Differences:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;Sharing meals has always been an important courtship ritual and a metaphor for love. But in an age when many people define themselves by what they will eat and what they won\u2019t, dietary differences can put a strain on a romantic relationship. The culinary camps have become so balkanized that some factions consider interdietary dating taboo.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No-holds-barred carnivores, for example, may share the view of Anthony Bourdain, who wrote in his book \u201cKitchen Confidential\u201d that \u201cvegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans &#8230; are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Returning the compliment, many vegetarians say they cannot date anyone who eats meat. Vegans, who avoid eating not just animals but animal-derived products, take it further, shivering at the thought of kissing someone who has even sipped honey-sweetened tea.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>a single<br \/>\nmimosa<br \/>\n&#8211; hold the toast<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;. by dagosan<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/cyber.law.harvard.edu\/blogs\/static\/ethicalesq\/2heartsV.gif\" alt=\"2HeartsV\" \/> <\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\"> <strong><em>A<\/em><\/strong>nother <\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Everybodys-Got-A-Ya-Ya\/dp\/B000QQ8ERE\">ya-ya<\/a><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">-less Valentine&#8217;s Day.  <em>Sigh<\/em>.  Regular readers of this weblog will recall our love-hate relationship with the holiday made for lovers.  See <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">&#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2004\/02\/14\/old-lawyers-in-love\/\">(Old) Lawyers in Love<\/a>&#8221; (Feb. 14, 2004) &#8211; musing over <\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">Jackson\u2019s Browne\u2019s 1983 song <\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">&#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2005\/02\/13\/off-peak-romance\/\">off-peak romance<\/a>&#8221; (Feb. 13, 2005) &#8211; riffing on the quote &#8220;Love is so delicate, you can&#8217;t afford to risk it on fake holiday,&#8221; by <\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman,Times,Serif\"><span style=\"font-size: x-small\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.emmaforrest.com\/\"><span style=\"font-size: small\">E<\/span>mma Forrest<\/a>. <\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">&#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2006\/02\/14\/valentine-quickies\/\">valentine quickies<\/a>&#8220;<\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">(Feb. 14, 2006) &#8212; inspired by the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/wp-srv\/artsandliving\/source\/features\/2006\/antivalentine\/index.html\"><em>WaPo<\/em> <\/a>reporter Joe Heim  and his &#8220;Anti-Valentine Play List&#8221;<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">&#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2006\/02\/14\/valentine-quickies-cont\/\">valentine quickies (cont.)<\/a>&#8221; (Feb. 14, 2006) &#8211; home alone and looking for love<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">&#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2007\/02\/14\/valentine-matchmaking\/\">valentine matchmaking<\/a>&#8221; (Feb. 14, 2007) &#8211; finding love or romance virtually anywhere<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">and over at <em>SHLEP<\/em>, &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/shlep\/2007\/02\/15\/post-valentine-divorce-self-help\/\">post-valentine divorce self-help<\/a>&#8221; (Feb. 15, 2007; in response to LegalMatch.com&#8217;s finding that there is a large increase in the number of people looking for divorce lawyers in the days surrounding Valentine\u2019s Day).<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">update: &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2009\/02\/11\/cur-mudgeonly-valentine\/\">cur-mudgeonly Valentine<\/a>&#8221; (Feb. 11, 2009)<br \/>\n<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>Valentine\u2019s Day &#8211;<br \/>\nI forget to get<br \/>\nthe garbage out<\/p>\n<p>\u2026\u2026\u2026&#8230;..\u2026\u2026. by <span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\"><span><\/span><\/span><span><strong><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/stories\/storyReader$3869\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;color: #ff0000;font-size: xx-small\"><strong>Tom Clausen<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/span> &#8211; <em>Upstate Dim Sum<\/em><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\"> <span><span><span style=\"font-size: xx-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman\">(<\/span><\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/homepage.mac.com\/gnach\/upds%20folder\/upds\/ds10.html\"><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman;font-size: xx-small\">2005\/II<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman;font-size: xx-small\">)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Heimliched out of me<br \/>\npink candy heart<br \/>\nwordless now<\/p>\n<p>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 by <a href=\"http:\/\/faculty.millikin.edu\/%7Erbrooks.hum.faculty.mu\/\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;color: #ff0000;font-size: xx-small\"><strong>Randy Brooks<\/strong><\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small\"><em> <\/em><em>from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/tg\/detail\/-\/1878798200\/qid=1105816207\/sr=1-1\/ref=sr_1_1\/104-1569557-1267912?v=glance&amp;s=books\"><span style=\"color: #000000\">School\u2019s Out<\/span><\/a><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">At our postings linked above, we&#8217;ve presented an assortment of Valentine-related haiku and senryu, and you will surely find something to fit almost every V-Day perspective.  Of course, when it comes to mixed feelings about love and romance, nobody says it better than lawyer-poet <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2007\/10\/09\/the-unworn-necklace-roberta-bearys-gems\/\">Roberta Beary<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\">.  Sometimes referred to as &#8220;<em>Cheery Beary<\/em>&#8221; by her habitually-romantic husband Frank Stella, Roberta came through for Valentine&#8217;s Day 2008, with this little haibun [short prose with a linked poem] from the brand new edition of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.modernhaiku.org\/\"><em>Modern Haiku<\/em><\/a> (Vol. 39:1, Winter 2008):<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p><em><strong>What I Mean Is <\/strong><\/em><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/shlep\/files\/2007\/02\/HeartArrowGV.jpg\" alt=\"heartarrowV\" width=\"34\" height=\"40\" \/><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>everyone knows everything old people know only the good die young and kids know parents don&#8217;t know it all and teachers know students wait until the day before the project is due and you and i both know that love doesn&#8217;t conquer anything in fact it doesn&#8217;t even come close<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p><em> as if it mattered<br \/>\ni pocket<br \/>\na red leaf<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230; by <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/roberta-beary-archive\/\">Roberta Beary<\/a>, <em>Modern Haiku<\/em> 39:1 (2008)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/files\/2008\/02\/lips.gif\" alt=\"\" \/> This might be a good time to remind husbands of Joshua Foer\u2019s 2006 Valentine op\/ed piece, \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.iht.com\/articles\/2006\/02\/13\/opinion\/edfoer.php\">A kiss isn\u2019t just a kiss<\/a>,&#8221; in the <em>International Herald Tribune<\/em> (Feb. 13, 2006), where he points out:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;A study conducted during the 1980\u2019s found that men who kiss their wives before leaving for work live longer, get into fewer car accidents and have a higher income than married men who don\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo put down this newspaper and pucker up. It does a body good.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>valentine&#8217;s day<br \/>\nwe do nothing<br \/>\ndifferent<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>valentine&#8217;s day<br \/>\nthe sensous curves<br \/>\nof a snow drift<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;.  by <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/ed-markowski-archive-part-ii\/\">ed markowski<\/a> <span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/cyber.law.harvard.edu\/blogs\/static\/ethicalesq\/Mailneg.jpg\" alt=\"mail neg\" width=\"100\" height=\"26\" \/><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Valentine&#8217;s Day &#8212;<br \/>\nthe new sign says<br \/>\n&#8220;Thin Ice&#8221;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>February 14<br \/>\na handful of cards<br \/>\nfrom relatives<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>alone at home &#8211;<br \/>\nthe hermit counts<br \/>\nhis Valentine savings<\/p>\n<p>&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230; by <em>dagosan<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\"> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Geneva,Arial,Sans-Serif;font-size: x-small\"><span style=\"font-family: Arial;font-size: x-small\"> <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/files\/2008\/02\/nhblinddate.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>As I said in 2005, George Swede&#8217;s quiet moments of romance are more my style (even when I am home alone on Valentine&#8217;s Day):<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>at the height<br \/>\nof the argument the old couple<br \/>\npour each other tea<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>almost unseen  <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/files\/2007\/02\/embraceGS.jpg\" alt=\"embraceGS\" width=\"25\" height=\"38\" \/><br \/>\namong the tangled driftwood<br \/>\nnaked lovers<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>on the face<br \/>\nthat last night called me names<br \/>\nmorning sunbeam<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote><p>sunrise<br \/>\nI forget my side<br \/>\nof the argument<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026 by <span><a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/george-swede-archive\/\"><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman,Times,Serif;color: #ff0000;font-size: x-small\"><strong>George Swede<\/strong><\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman,Times,Serif;font-size: x-small\"> <span style=\"font-size: xx-small\">from <\/span><\/span><\/span><span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/tg\/detail\/-\/0913719994\/qid=1089812810\/sr=8-1\/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14\/102-4810311-4254502?v=glance&amp;s=books&amp;n=507846\"><span style=\"color: #000000\"><span style=\"font-family: Times New Roman,Times,Serif\"><span style=\"font-size: xx-small\"><strong><em>Almost<\/em> <em>Unseen: Selected Haiku of George Swede<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<blockquote><p><em><strong>p.s. <\/strong><\/em> On the other hand, an article in today&#8217;s <em>New York Times<\/em> makes me glad I&#8217;m no longer representing children in custody disputes in family and divorce court.  See &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2008\/02\/13\/us\/13custody.html?_r=1&amp;th=&amp;oref=slogin&amp;emc=th&amp;pagewanted=all\">Religion Joins Custody Cases, to Judges\u2019 Unease<\/a>&#8221; (NYT, Feb. 13, 2008)<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span>custody hearing<br \/>\nseeing his arms cross<br \/>\ni uncross mine<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span>\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026. by <a href=\"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/roberta-beary-archive\/\">roberta  beary<\/a> &#8211; <em>pocket change<\/em>; and <em>New Resonance 2<br \/>\n<\/em><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong><em>update<\/em><\/strong> (Feb. 14, 2008):  It&#8217;s shocking for regular folks, but &#8212; as I learned in law school and Family Court &#8212; <a href=\"http:\/\/blawgreview.blogspot.com\/2008\/02\/unhappy-valentines-day.html\">some lawyers<\/a> can&#8217;t distinguish between &#8220;unfun&#8221; and &#8220;unfair.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>update\/lowdown (Feb. 15, 2008): Feb. 15 he buys himself a half-priced heart &#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;&#8230; by dagosan Afterthought (9 PM; Feb. 13): An article in today&#8217;s New York Times has helped me understand that there are far worse things in life than dining alone on Valentine&#8217;s Day. See &#8220;I Love You, but You Love Meat&#8221; (by Kate [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":94,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3298,555,1414],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-haiga-or-haibun","category-haiku-or-senryu","category-qs-quickies"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6kP1R-2jH","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/94"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8909"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8909\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12346,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8909\/revisions\/12346"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}