{"id":8265,"date":"2007-10-13T13:20:58","date_gmt":"2007-10-13T18:20:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2007\/10\/13\/eq-quickie-email-and-emoticons\/"},"modified":"2011-08-05T14:53:40","modified_gmt":"2011-08-05T18:53:40","slug":"eq-quickie-email-and-emoticons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2007\/10\/13\/eq-quickie-email-and-emoticons\/","title":{"rendered":"EQ quickie: email and emoticons"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\" <\/span>Daniel “Emotional Intelligence<\/a><\/em>” Goleman’s op\/ed piece this week “E-Mail Is Easy to Write (and to Misread)<\/a>” (New York Times<\/em>, Oct. 7, 2007, image by Stuart Goldenberg)<\/span> came at a time when I’ve been particularly plagued by email mis-communications. Even people I thought knew me rather well — including knowledge of my continental, offshore, and international reputation<\/a> as a troublemaker and verbal prankster, my penchant to use hyperbole to show mock shock<\/a>, and my longstanding,<\/a> stubborn, well-known<\/a>, refusal to use emoticons<\/a> to warn of the use of irony or humor — have been inadvertently insulted (on their own behalf and that of their God-of-Choice) by messages sent with neither rancor nor ill intent.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

embarrassed
\nby the lavish praise
\nI imagine getting<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

empty bottle
\na few words
\nI would like to take back<\/p>\n

……………………… by John Stevenson
\n“phone message” – Geppo<\/em>, Sep\/Oct, 2006
\n“empty bottle”- Quiet Enough<\/em> (2004)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\"\"<\/span> Goleman, who taught us that EQ is often more important than IQ, last year gave us Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships<\/em><\/a>. He says:<\/p>\n

“New findings [in social neuroscience] have uncovered a design flaw at the interface where the brain encounters a computer screen: there are no online channels for the multiple signals the brain uses to calibrate emotions.<\/p>\n

“Face-to-face interaction, by contrast, is information-rich. We interpret what people say to us not only from their tone and facial expressions, but also from their body language and pacing, as well as their synchronization with what we do and say.<\/p>\n

“Most crucially, the brain\u2019s social circuitry mimics in our neurons what\u2019s happening in the other person\u2019s brain, keeping us on the same wavelength emotionally. This neural dance creates an instant rapport that arises from an enormous number of parallel information processors, all working instantaneously and out of our awareness.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/em><\/span>Goleman explains further that: “In contrast to a phone call or talking in person, e-mail can be emotionally impoverished when it comes to nonverbal messages that add nuance and valence to our words. The typed words are denuded of the rich emotional context we convey in person or over the phone.” Even worse, “there are ways in which e-mail may subtly encourage such trouble in the first place.”<\/p>\n