{"id":4233,"date":"2005-11-23T16:59:31","date_gmt":"2005-11-23T20:59:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/formerlyknownas\/2005\/11\/23\/self-pity-the-opposite-of-tha"},"modified":"2011-08-05T14:54:23","modified_gmt":"2011-08-05T18:54:23","slug":"self-pity-the-opposite-of-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2005\/11\/23\/self-pity-the-opposite-of-thanksgiving\/","title":{"rendered":"self-pity: the opposite of thanksgiving"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

<\/font>Last night, November 22, Ted Koppel did his <\/font>last Nightline<\/em> show<\/font><\/a>. Thanks <\/font>to an interview the night before with his time-slot rival <\/font>Charlie Rose<\/font><\/a> (who <\/font>I usually watch), I knew to tune into Ted’s last Nightline<\/em>, and I’m <\/font>glad I did.<\/font><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\"KoppelTed\" <\/font>Ted decided to bow out by reprising highlights from his acclaimed <\/font>interviews<\/font><\/a> <\/font>with Morrie Schwartz, the wise retired professor who wanted to talk about <\/font>dying (he had ALS), and who became the subject of <\/font>Mitch Albom<\/font><\/a>‘s mega-<\/font>hit book, <\/font>Tuesdays with Morrie<\/font><\/em><\/a>. Despite their popularity, the Albom book <\/font>and the Nightline interviews contain much wisdom about dying and living <\/font>with dignity, grace, humor and hope. <\/font>In a nation where we find rampant discontent, among people enjoying a <\/font>myriad of blessings, Morrie Schwartz’s refusal to wallow in self-pity as he <\/font>lost control of his body and neared death, is not merely a good example — <\/font>it is <\/font>a recipe for much fuller and happier lives. <\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

At pages 56 – 57 of Tuesdays<\/a><\/em>, <\/font>Albom explains: \"TuesdaysMorrieCover\"<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

I asked Morrie if he felt sorry for himself.<\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

“Sometimes, in the mornings,” he said. “That’s when I mourn.<\/em><\/font>I feel around my body, I move my fingers and my hands — <\/em><\/font>whatever I can still move — and I mourn what I’ve lost. I mourn <\/em><\/font>the slow, insidious way in which I’m dying. But then I stop <\/em><\/font>mourning.” <\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

Just like that? <\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

“I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate <\/em><\/font>on all the good things still in my life. On the people who are <\/em><\/font>coming to see me. On the stories I’m going to hear. On you — <\/em><\/font>if it’s Tuesday. Because we’re Tuesday people”<\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

I grinned. Tuesday people.<\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

\"MorrieDVD\" the movie<\/font><\/a><\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

\n

“Mitch, I don’t allow myself any more self-pity than that. A <\/em><\/font>little each morning, and few tears, and that’s all. “<\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their<\/em><\/font>waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be <\/em><\/font>to put a daily limit on self-pity. Just a few tearful minutes, then on <\/em><\/font>with the day. And if Morrie could do it, with such a horrible disease . . . <\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

“It’s only horrible if you see it that way,” Morrie said. “It’s horrible <\/em><\/font>to watch my body slowly wilt away to nothing. But it is also wonderful <\/em><\/font>because of all the time I get to say good-bye.”<\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

He smiled. “Not everyone is so lucky.” <\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

I studied him in his chair, unable to stand, to wash, to pull on his <\/em><\/font>pants. Lucky? Did he really say lucky?<\/em><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

In most aspects of life, attitude is everything. You don’t see things as <\/font>they are; you see them as you<\/em> are — and, each of us can choose to <\/font>be thankful. I hope we will all make that choice this Thanksgiving.<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

p.s.<\/em> In case you want a little Koppel vinegar to go with Morrie’s <\/font>sweetness, I would like to second Ted <\/font>Koppel’s final words<\/font><\/a> in <\/font><\/font>his final Nightline broadcast: ”You’ve always been very nice to <\/font>me,” he told viewers last night, ”so give this new anchor team <\/font>at ‘Nightline’ a fair break. If you don’t, the network will just put <\/font>another<\/font> comedy in this time slot, and then you’ll be sorry.<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

it’s my life’s autumn \"MoonWaneCres\"
\nbut the moon
\nlooks perfect<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

\n

this world
\nis a dewdrop world
\nyes… but…<\/font><\/font> <\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\n

\n

quite remarkable<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font>
\n being born human…<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font>
\n autumn dusk<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\n

\n

\n
\n

\n

\n

\n

<\/blockquote>\n

even to these old eyes–
\ncherry blossoms!
\ncherry blossoms!<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

\n

\n

Kobayashi Issa<\/a><\/strong><\/font> —<\/font> translated by <\/font>David G. Lanoue<\/a><\/strong><\/font> <\/font><\/font> <\/font> \"MoonWaxCres\"<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\n

\n

\n

\n
\n

<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last night, November 22, Ted Koppel did his last Nightline show. Thanks to an interview the night before with his time-slot rival Charlie Rose (who I usually watch), I knew to tune into Ted’s last Nightline, and I’m glad I did. Ted decided to bow out by reprising highlights from his acclaimed interviews with Morrie […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":94,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2926,900],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pre-06-2006","category-viewpoint"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6kP1R-16h","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/94"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4233"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4233\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12905,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4233\/revisions\/12905"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}