{"id":4067,"date":"2005-09-08T19:39:33","date_gmt":"2005-09-08T23:39:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/formerlyknownas\/2005\/09\/08\/sortapundit-is-acdd-after-arr"},"modified":"2011-08-05T14:57:26","modified_gmt":"2011-08-05T18:57:26","slug":"sortapundit-is-acdd-after-arrest-for-haiku-abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/ethicalesq\/2005\/09\/08\/sortapundit-is-acdd-after-arrest-for-haiku-abuse\/","title":{"rendered":"sortapundit is ACD’d after arrest for haiku abuse"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

We take our job of Haiku Sheriff<\/em> about as seriously as anything we do <\/font>
\nhere at f\/k\/a<\/em>. Indeed, we were honored when MansfieldFox<\/em> dubbed us <\/font><\/font>
\nThe Haiku Police<\/strong><\/font><\/a>. The role usually means issuing summonses and <\/font>
\nwarnings <\/font>to webloggers who perpetrate and perpetuate the myth that <\/font>
\nany<\/em>thing <\/font>written in 5-7-5-syllable form is haiku. (See, <\/font>is it or ain’t it haiku?<\/em><\/font><\/a>, <\/font>
\nalso <\/font>here<\/font><\/a> and <\/font>there<\/font><\/a>; find a quick definition<\/em> of haiku at the foot of this
\npost.)<\/font><\/p>\n

Yesterday, we found a particularly odious example of haiku abuse at \"copLightN\"<\/font>
\nThe 155th Carnival of the Vanities<\/em><\/font><\/a>, hosted at Keith Taylor’s <\/font>sortapundit<\/em><\/font><\/a>.<\/font>
\nKeith<\/font> decided to present “each entry this week as a haiku, the Japanese <\/font><\/font>
\nform of poetry consisting of three lines of 5, 7 and 5 syllables.” Oh, sure, <\/font>
\nhe did warn that “they are the most shoddy haiku you ever did <\/font>read,” but <\/font>
\nthat suggests knowledge aforethough of the crime (genrecide). <\/font><\/p>\n

The result was a Carnival list which described each submitted posting with <\/font>
\nthree-lined verse, having 5, 7 and 5 syllables respectively. Exhibits One <\/font>
\nand Two are the first two entries:<\/font><\/p>\n

\nDoctor Hartline writes<\/font><\/a>
\nOf Man’s tendency to sin
\nAnd God owns our stuff<\/font><\/font>
\n<\/p>\n

<\/font>The librarians<\/font><\/a>
\nSteal umbrellas, the bastards
\nBaby Jesus weeps<\/font><\/font><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Clearly, a guilty verdict was going to be a slam dunk for our prosecuting Prof. <\/font>
\nYabut. However, acting as his own advocate, Mr. Taylor presented the <\/font>
\nfollowing “Update\/Rebuttal,” which brought the Court to tears:<\/font><\/p>\n

\n“(Update<\/strong>) David Giacalone correctly points out that these aren’t <\/font>
\ngenuine haiku but rather verse in the 5-7-5 syllable form that we<\/font>
\n unsophisticated westerners often call haiku. You can find a helpful <\/font>
\nresource including the criteria for haiku <\/font>here<\/font><\/a>. Here, though, is my <\/font>
\nrebuttal (or refutation, or repudiation. These word things were never <\/font><\/font>
\nmy strong suit. I like to feel the soil). Have you ever tried writing a <\/font><\/font>
\nhaiku about looting of electrical goods in the present tense and including <\/font><\/font>
\na reference to the seasons whilst at the same time creating a sense of <\/font><\/font>
\nharmony and contrast? I can barely dress myself at the best of times. <\/font><\/font>
\nAnd at least I didn’t call the plural haikus :)”<\/font><\/font><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That emoticon almost earned Keith a couple days of community service, but <\/font>
\nthe overall cogency and sincerity of his plea, gained him an ACD<\/a> (Adjournment in <\/font>
\nContemplation <\/font>of Dismissal). So long as Keith refrains from repeating his offense <\/font>
\nover the next <\/font>six months, the matter will be dismissed. (Getting the Google cache <\/font>
\nscrubbed will <\/font>be his problem, however).<\/font><\/p>\n

\n\"noYabutsSN\" For future reference, please note it is virtually<\/font>
\nimpossible to write real haiku that is attempting <\/font>
\nto summarize written material (be it a book, article, <\/font>
\nor weblog post). Even the extremely talented and <\/font>
\nwitty David M. Bader can’t actually make his 17 <\/font>
\nsyllables equal genuine haiku. On the other hand,<\/font>
\nhis Haiku U<\/em><\/a>., which condenses famous books into <\/font>
\npseudo-haiku, is pretty witty. For example:<\/font><\/p>\n

\n\n\n\n
Niccolo Machiavelli, <\/font>The Prince<\/em><\/font><\/font><\/strong> <\/font><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
What I learned at court:
\n<\/font>Being more feared than loved \u2013 good.
\nGetting poisoned \u2013 bad.<\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n

As claimed by sortapundit<\/em>, it can be difficult to write haiku about the Aftermath of<\/font>
\nHurricane Katrina, much less about<\/em> articles about<\/em> Katrina (especially while still filled <\/font>
\nwith anger over governmental inadequacy). We suggest attempting <\/font>“senryu<\/strong><\/em><\/font><\/a>” <\/font>instead, <\/font>
\nas we did in our post<\/a> <\/font>a few days ago. An example: <\/font><\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n

\n

treading water: <\/font><\/p>\n

“keep your chin up” <\/font><\/p>\n

he says<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

dagosan<\/font><\/em><\/font><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n