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f/k/a archives . . . real opinions & real haiku

November 30, 2005

dr. spock we’re not

Filed under: pre-06-2006 — David Giacalone @ 3:41 pm

We don’t claim to be practicing Eclectics around here (unlike some weblawgers). 

However, we cover a lot of territory and, this morning, Yahoo!’s Search engine made

one of our posts the #2 result for the query how to make a two year old behave>.

It celebrated the 2nd anniversary of Prof. Bainbridge’s weblog.   Of course, we always

love such unexpected referrals.  Nonetheless, this is a sad commentary on the state

of child care instruction on the internet, and/or on search engine accuracy.  



You see, although our post did indeed have information on how to make a two-year-old

behave, not one of the other 9 results in the top 10 was even vaguely about that issue. 

(I didn’t look any deeper on the list.)  For example, #1 concerned Year 2000 computer

problems; #3 was about selling burgers, and #4 about two-year colleges.

tiny check In case you have a two-year-old and are in need of a refresher course,

we noted last September that: “The experts advise an escalating response

when two-year-olds behave badly — Distraction, Separation, Explanation,

Compromise, and (only if he’s likely to hurt himself) Punishment.

Our Honored Guest Tom Clausen knows far more on this topic, so

let’s see what he can teach us with an extended lesson from Homework

(2000), his insightful look look at domesticity:



cleaning the poop out
    his little Superman


home from work …
the little one brings me
an empty wine bottle










playing a childs game
    I learn all
     his rules





losing control of my son
    – and myself





all through
his temper tantrum
her calm

our son spills his milk,
   not an iota
of reaction from him






telling her its time
for a diaper change:
   “I did not”



how could I have known
our children, precious
as they are,
would drive us
to such brinks?






in the next room
our children peacefully asleep
     – we do nothing







evening star…
she sleeps with the lion’s tail
in her little hand






I watch my children
joyfully little and innocent
of everything ahead –
       too much I know
       too much to tell


“spiltwine” Tom Clausen
           from Homework (2000)





when she’s restless —

the two-year old’s plastic sheets




p.s. Talk about variety: Yesterday, our post just ing-ing around was the

#2 result in a Google Search for distinguishing participle from gerund>.

We are not, however, ready for a snap quiz on that topic.




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