![](\"http:\/\/cyber.law.harvard.edu\/blogs\/static\/dowbrigade\/sfarr.jpg\")
Fair Warning: Anyone grossed out by medical details or
\n simply uninterested in the personal life of your correspondent can safely
\n skip the rest of this entry. However, since we are still to a certain
\n extent a Mom and Pop operation (Hi Mom! Hi Pop!) and a lot of our readers
\n know us personally, we feel a certain obligation to blog about our recent
\n medical emergency.<\/p>\n
When we went into surgery two weeks ago today, we were
\n certainly not expecting
\n to
\n come
\n out gutted
\n like
\n a
\n bottom
\n feeder
\n and studded
\n with more metal than the population of The Pit in Harvard Square.<\/p>\n
We needed this urgent surgery because of wandering stomach
\n syndrome. Our stomach had somehow come unanchored and migrated through
\n the esophageal
\n opening in our diaphragm. Most of it was now in our chest, shoving aside
\n the previous occupants like our heart and lungs. This was extremely puzzling
\n to our doctor, who said he typically sees this condition in elderly,
\n obese women.<\/p>\n
The operation supposedly consisted of 1) grabbing the
\n stomach and pulling it back through the hole into the abdomen where it
\n belongs 2) wrapping
\n an anchoring it among the intestines and such so that it doesn’t start
\n wandering again, and 3) sewing up the hole in the diaphragm it went through.<\/p>\n
According to the Chief of Surgery, who does this kind
\n of thing for a living, they hoped to be able to do the entire operation
\n laproscopically,
\n through three or four small holes, using miniature cameras, robot arms
\n and other tiny tools. If so, they said we could go home in a couple of
\n days, and be back at work in a week.<\/p>\n
However, if the hole in our diaphragm was too big or
\n hard to get at, sewing it up would not be simple, and the surgeon said
\n he would probably have to sew a patch in
\n to seal it up tight. This would involve a slightly larger incision in
\n the chest, three or four days in the hospital, and two weeks of rest
\n before returning to work.<\/p>\n
Once they got me on the table, however, all of these
\n estimates went the way of the Big Dig. Turns out that during the month
\n we were waiting
\n for the operation our stomach had gone COMPLETELY through the hole, and
\n was folded over and twisted around to boot. Putting it back was considerably
\n more complicated than anticipated. Pretty much everything had to be moved
\n around somehow.<\/p>\n
Then there was some problem putting in the patch. We
\n are not sure exactly what went wrong (they never tell the patient the
\n details, apparently),
\n but several other surgeons, not part of our "team" have told us they
\n were in and out of the operating room several times because the case
\n presented "unusual complications."<\/p>\n
In all, the operation lasted 5 hours, and we will end
\n up with a scar down the middle of our belly bearing an eerie resemblance
\n to a C-section. We ended up with 30 stainless
\n steel staples holding our gut together. <\/p>\n
After the 5 hours of the actual operation, we were told
\n it took them an additional 3 hours to "get your pain under control".
\n We are not exactly
\n sure what this means, since mercifully we remember almost nothing, but
\n near as we can figure it means the first few times they tried to take
\n us out from under the anesthesia, we started kicking and screaming.
\n So
\n they
\n would
\n put
\n us back under, increase the underlying dosage of narcotics in our system,
\n and try to bring us out of it again.<\/p>\n
Obviously, they had to repeat this routine several times
\n if it took them three hours to get us to the point where we could manage
\n consciousness.
\n Of course, the amount of narcotics any individual needs to overcome a
\n given level of pain depends on multiple factors, including body mass,
\n general physical condition, past opiate usage, individual pain threshold
\n and reaction to different specific opioids. The Dowbrigade takes a load.<\/p>\n
The first 48 hours were extremely difficult. Just let us say that the
\n pain management function in the step-down ward (one step down from Intensive
\n Care) on the weekends is less than fully effective.<\/p>\n
Because of the length and invasive nature of the operation,
\n our return to the classroom is now predicted to be not one week, not
\n two weeks,
\n but SIX WEEKS. Meanwhile, we have to take it easy, no heavy lifting,
\n light exercise and bland diet. They won’t even guarantee we’ll be able
\n to go to Florida in three weeks, where we are supposed to deliver a 56
\n minute paper and then spend four days in the sun. Maybe, the doctor said,
\n but don’t buy a non-refundable ticket. The reason we were asking is that
\n we were just about to buy a non-refundable ticket. It’s the only kind
\n we can afford.<\/p>\n
Anyway, two weeks out, we are feeling a lot better,
\n although we still tire easily, and have daily (although not constant)
\n pain the in belly. We got our surgical staples out
\n Wednesday, and that helped a lot in making us feel comfortable. Yesterday,
\n for the first time since the operation, we finished the New York Times
\n crossword
\n with no help. And we can still blog….<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Fair Warning: Anyone grossed out by medical details or simply uninterested in the personal life of your correspondent can safely skip the rest of this entry. However, since we are still to a certain extent a Mom and Pop operation … Continue reading