![](\"http:\/\/cyber.law.harvard.edu\/blogs\/static\/dowbrigade\/govenrmentium.jpg\")
A major research institution has just announced the
\n discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element
\n has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron,
\n 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons,
\n giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together
\n by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like
\n particles called peons. Because Governmentium has no electrons, it is
\n inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with
\n which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes
\n one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take
\n less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years;
\n it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
\n portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
\n In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time because
\n each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
\n isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists
\n to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
\n quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
\n as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium
\n becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy
\n because it has 1\/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving … Continue reading