![](\"http:\/\/cyber.law.harvard.edu\/blogs\/static\/dowbrigade\/turkeyyy.jpg\")
We
\n must confess, the Dowbrigade is a sucker for a good coupon. A few years
\n ago, when we were trying to feed two hungry teenagers
\n on a teacher’s salary, we assiduously clipped coupons for our weekly
\n trip to the super. The thrill we got from a "triple hit" (doubled manufacturer’s
\n coupon plus store coupon discount) rivaled the thrills we had gotten
\n years earlier from other kinds of "triple hits".<\/p>\n
Although we are no longer obsessive about our coupons, we couldn’t resist
\n the offer at our local Star Market of a FREE TURKEY! All we had to do
\n was collect 20 "coins", which were stamps on the coupon representing
\n $25 spent at Star (excluding liquor, cigarettes, cash back, money orders,
\n paper products, hardware and drugs)! The check-out lady explained that
\n we didn’t have to bring in the coupon every time, just save all our receipts
\n and bring them in when we claimed the turkey. And we had a full four
\n weeks to do it in. Piece of cake.<\/p>\n
So over the past month we have carefully saved every last Star receipt,
\n even when we just popped in to the salad bar or sushi counter for a quick lunch between
\n classes. In order to make sure we reached the critical level, we stocked
\n up on staples. Norma Yvonne did wonder where we would store a gross of
\n italian crushed tomatoes and a year’s supply of Polish dill pickles.
\n We also felt empowered to purchase a number of items we have long
\n longed to try, but were unable to justify the expense of, like apricot chutney
\n and Extra Sacrificial Virgin Olive Oil.<\/p>\n
Today we gathered all our receipts together, some crumpled, some stained, but all legible, over $600 worth by Norma’s count,
\n and took them in to claim our prize. The lady at the customer service
\n counter who took our request looked like the Bride of Frankenstein on
\n a bad hair day. She was further frazzled by having just had to hassle
\n with a legally blind woman who was trying to rent a floor polisher (who
\n knew?) but didn’t have the requisite driver’s licence to show as security
\n because she was, well, legally blind.<\/p>\n
When we finally got to the counter and presented our receipts, Mrs. Frankenstein
\n snatched them from our hand, ogled them with a jaundiced eyes and intoned
\n in an infinitely bored voice, "You’ll have to wait.. This
\n may take a while."<\/p>\n
We settled in for a long wait, but she started right in on
\n them. Actually, she started ripping off and discarding a good number
\n of them, mumbling, "This one’s no good. This one doesn’t count. Can’t
\n use this one.."<\/p>\n
"Wait one gosh darn minute," we cried, "What’s wrong with all of those?"<\/p>\n
"Anything less than $25 doesn’t count. The coupon clearly
\n says that you must spend at least $25 dollars ON EACH PURCHASE."<\/p>\n
We looked at our coupon. Damned if it didn’t say that, in tiny
\n print, on the back. Furthermore, if we spent $48, say, we would
\n only get credit for one $25 "coin". We could earn this currency, it seemed,
\n only in $25 increments.<\/p>\n
We protested that the checkout lady who gave us the coupon had mentioned
\n nothing of these catches. To no avail. There it was, in green and
\n white, on the back of the coupon.<\/p>\n
Finally, she finished her work, looked up from her adding machine with
\n a triumphant smile and pronounced, "$475. You’re one coin
\n short. Sorry."<\/p>\n
"Well, well, wait here a minute, we’ll go buy some more staples or exotic
\n oils, and get that last coin! You sell Krispy Kreme Donuts now! We’ll take 4 dozen!"<\/p>\n
"Sorry, the promotion ended yesterday, receipts from today don’t count."<\/p>\n
We were stymied, flummoxed and frustrated. We demanded a recount. As
\n a last resort, we demanded to speak to a manager. By this point
\n we were a bit agitated, in fact had worked ourselves into something
\n of an indignant dither. Frankenstein or no, challenging our primacy
\n as a food forager for our family had awakened deep ancestral survival
\n instincts, and the clerk seemed to recognize that there could be an element
\n of personal danger in he situation. She went to fetch the manager.<\/p>\n
They were couched in whispered conversation for several long minutes. Then,
\n finally, a beaming assistant manager stepped quickly to the counter and
\n handed us our Free Turkey Coupon. "Thanks for shopping at Star," she
\n stammered.<\/p>\n
We can’t wait to tell the story as we carve the fat, free fowl on Thursday. But,
\n just to be on the safe side, we have decided to cash in the coupon and
\n select the Turkey from a different branch of the Star Market chain.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We must confess, the Dowbrigade is a sucker for a good coupon. A few years ago, when we were trying to feed two hungry teenagers on a teacher’s salary, we assiduously clipped coupons for our weekly trip to the super. … Continue reading