Recently at a stylish soiree we overheard an impeccably This reminded us inevitably of the "Three Second Rule" Now, we know we are going to shock some of our younger In the TV Room, by either unfortunate coincidence or a The other viewers were reduced to squatting or lying The problem to which the Three Second Rule was the solution The rule was that anyone who left the magic chair for Of course, the floor-squatters were allowed to distract, interfere We guess the hardest part of the whole story to believe, In fact, we recently returned from a visit to our own Up there in the Andean Redoubt, clinging to the side The operant theory between our sons is that somewhere So thank your lucky stars, dear readers, that you had *Note: Readers who are constitutionally opposed to meandering posts which don’t seem to make a point or lead anywhere are excused from reading the following. Recently at a stylish soiree we overheard an impeccably dressed Dean holding forth on something … Continue reading ![](\"http:\/\/cyber.law.harvard.edu\/blogs\/static\/dowbrigade\/oldtv.jpg\")
*Note:
\n Readers who are constitutionally opposed to meandering posts which don’t
\n seem to make a point or lead anywhere are
\n excused from reading the following.<\/em><\/p>\n
\n dressed Dean holding forth on something called the "Five Second Rule,"
\n which we gathered had to do with the maximum length of time an edible
\n item which had fallen from a plate or table could be picked up and cleaned
\n off, rather than thrown directly into the trash. Of such irrelevant absurdities
\n academic careers are built.<\/p>\n
\n which had been the law of the land in the halcyon days of the Dowbrigade’s
\n youth. For years, the Three Second Rule defined our leisure hours
\n in that quintessential formative American experience – watching TV.<\/p>\n
\n readers with the following admission, but when the Dowbrigade was a boy
\n there were only THREE television channels. And we lived in a major American
\n city! Furthermore, there was only one TV in the household, and it was
\n in a small den on the 1st floor called, appropriately enough, the TV
\n room.<\/p>\n
\n Machiavellian plot by our parents to hone our competitive instincts
\n as a survival technique, there was only one comfortable chair, a big
\n soft overstuffed monstrosity sitting directly across from the TV.<\/p>\n
\n on the floor, physically and symbolically beneath the gaze of the exalted
\n presence on the overstuffed throne. In addition, by family tradition
\n and natural order, the occupant of the favored chair had the right to
\n choose which of the three channels we would all watch.<\/p>\n
\n arose from the fact that that far back in television pre-history, as
\n hard as it may be to believe, there were no remote controls! A viewer
\n actually had to get up out of his or her chair, walk across the room,
\n and PHYSICALLY ROTATE A DIAL to change the channel. Actually, it
\n was not too hard, as 8, 10 and 13 were the only choices. In fact, we
\n could do it in less that 3 seconds.<\/p>\n
\n MORE than 3 seconds lost it. Anyone else could jump into the Big Seat
\n and take control of the viewing session. Eventually, one was forced to
\n vacate the favored spot due to hunger, the urgent need to pee, a phone
\n call (we had TWO phones in those days, one upstairs and one downstairs)
\n or a parental summons. But until then, as long as you could change that
\n channel and get back to the seat in under 3 seconds, you could control
\n the set all afternoon or evening.<\/p>\n
\n with and otherwise delay the channel changer on his swift mission.
\n We remember many a time, leaping from the cushions just as a program
\n ended and flying across the room to hit another channel before losing
\n the seat. Number Two son (the Dowbrigade was the eldest, by a Dr, Spock
\n prescribed 3 years) would immediately start counting – "onethousandone,
\n onethousandtwo, onethousand three…" Number Three son would try to
\n throw pillows or stick a leg in the air to slow us down, but heck, he
\n was six
\n years younger than us so we would usually cut through the obstacles
\n like a stud runner through a depleted backfield.<\/p>\n
\n other than the fact that Number Three son is now an important executive
\n with a major American corporation and Number Two son is a Federal Judge,
\n is the fact that in our youth there were only three television channels. How
\n did we survive? Well, the sad fact, boys and girls, is that even today,
\n well into the 21st century, there are pockets of humanity around
\n the world that STILL only have three channels of TV! <\/p>\n
\n two sons, currently ensconced in a ramshackle, homemade, under-construction
\n Eco-tourism hotel in Parcha, Peru. Parcha is nothing more than
\n a bend in a dirt road, where it crosses a small stream and climbs into
\n the inaccessible Andes, above the town of Carhuaz, deep in the valley
\n called
\n the Callajon de Huaylas, between the Black and White Ranges in Central
\n Peru.<\/p>\n
\n of Mt. Huascaran, under a star-bedazzled sky, at 10 degrees south latitude
\n and 12,000 feet above sea level, our sons get a grand total of ONE television
\n station. The
\n strangest thing is that the emission is in English, and it changes channel
\n from
\n time
\n to
\n time,
\n observing
\n its
\n own celestial three second rule. For long stretches it shows the
\n Discovery Channel, then in the middle of a fascinating program on the
\n mating habits of Albino slugs it will suddenly change to TNT. On rare
\n occasions, late at night, it will even change over to HBO or the Playboy
\n Channel! The effect, huddled in a hand-hewn adobe hut, surrounded by
\n a million Indians and the Andean night, is surreal.<\/p>\n
\n further up in the mountains a much more advanced and techo-saavy hotel
\n owner has established his own tiny broadcast network, receiving signals
\n from a satellite dish and rebroadcasting a single channel to his own
\n cabins and bungalows. Personally, the Dowbrigade prefers to attribute
\n it to a randy and bored spook in a US Intelligence listening post somewhere
\n high up in the mountains entertaining himself by surfing the satellite
\n signals. In all probability, we will never know.<\/p>\n
\n the good fortune to be born or move to the mecca of broadcasting overload.
\n And remember that the real goal of the War on Terrorism is to bring 200
\n channels of broadband programming to the benighted backwaters of world
\n so that they, too, can dispense with the Three Second Rule.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"