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One
\n of the unique opportunities of the four year election cycle is the rare
\n chance it offers to see the Vice President
\n in action. As we know, the current Vice President is normally hard at
\n work defending America for her enemies from a secure and top secret undisclosed
\n location. So secret, in fact, that were we to somehow discover it’s
\n location we would be required by the Homeland Security Act to commit
\n the American version of Hari Kari.<\/p>\n
So it is surprising and a bit disconcerting to see Dick
\n Cheney, the current VP, prancing around on stage like a rabid groundhog,
\n roused from his underground lair, blinking at the unaccustomed light
\n and hoping for six more years of nuclear winter, so he can go back underground
\n and get some work done. He looks stiff and unnatural in the light of day,
\n and rumor has it that he is on the vitamin, speed and cocaine
\n cocktails developed by Hitler’s personal physician to keep the master
\n strategist going during the later stages of the second world war. This
\n may work well for the short run, but prolonged use is known to cause
\n megalomania and paranoid psychosis, and the withdrawal is a bitch.<\/p>\n
Appropriately enough, according to the Roswell, We found it disconcerting when this thought occurred to We sincerely hope that this silly election business is Expect John Kerry to try to become the first man to windsurf from the Roswell Register<\/a><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One of the unique opportunities of the four year election cycle is the rare chance it offers to see the Vice President in action. As we know, the current Vice President is normally hard at work defending America for her … Continue reading
\n New Mexico Record<\/a>, VP Cheney
\n was hanging around town over the weekend, visiting schools and top secret
\n military bases. "We’re proud to be in Roswell today, because New Mexico
\n had a great delegation to the convention in New York, and Roswell looks
\n like Bush-Cheney country,"
\n he said to the audience, which included cheerleaders, the high school
\n band and many cadets from Roswell’s New Mexico Military Institute. Afterward
\n he was seen chatting up the Romulan ambassador.<\/p>\n
\n us, midway through Cheney’s rousing speech to the Republican National Convention:
\n "Who’s minding the store?" It was sort of like hurtling down a modern
\n expressway during a fascinating tour of a new and exciting
\n city, and suddenly noticing that both
\n the tour guide and the bus driver are standing next to your seat telling
\n you how wonderful the city is and how lucky you are to be along on the
\n tour. For a moment you are deeply appreciative, until you wonder, "Who’s
\n driving the bus?"<\/p>\n
\n over soon, and our fearless leaders can get back to what they do so well
\n – Dick
\n Cheney to running the country from his undisclosed location, and George
\n Bush to his Presidential prestidigitation, keeping the eyeballs occupied
\n with harmless blunders and photo ops while the real men do the real business
\n of the nation in the shady and exclusive corridors of power.<\/p>\n
\n from Cape Cod to Vietnam.<\/p>\n