![](\"http:\/\/cyber.law.harvard.edu\/blogs\/static\/dowbrigade\/tutudiver.jpg\")
A
\n man wearing a ballet suit stands on the three-meter springboard before
\n diving in. Olympics Games organizers ordered beefed-up
\n security at all venues after an embarrassing breach involving a Canadian
\n man who leapt into the pool during a synchronized diving event.(AFP\/File\/Marco
\n Longari) <\/p>\n
from AFP<\/a><\/p>\n We were actually watching the Men’s Synchronized Diving So what was the Dowbrigade doing watching Synchronized Besides, we had read about this new sport, synchronized On their last dive, one of the Russians "broke form" Which is not to say we didn’t enjoy it. Watching The nubile young bodies factor has definitely been an Now, the Dowbrigade is a big fan of competition in all The ancient Greeks, in addition to inventing competitive On Olympus we are a purist. Competitive sports must According to the "Dowbrigade Rule" the following Olympic Synchronized Swimming – The worst case scenario of a performance art Synchronized Diving – see above<\/p>\n Dressage – This involves horses. The name says it all.<\/p>\n Eventing – Another horse event. The only horse events that deserve to be in Gymnastics – Sorry, Nadia<\/p>\n Artistic Gymnastics – Even less of a case can be made for this pseudo-sport. Rhythmic Gymnastics – C’mon, how many different positions can you force Trampoline – How about pillow fighting?<\/p>\n There were some hard calls there. For example, it could be argued that So lets get back to basics. How far, how fast, how high. And let the A man wearing a ballet suit stands on the three-meter springboard before diving in. Olympics Games organizers ordered beefed-up security at all venues after an embarrassing breach involving a Canadian man who leapt into the pool during a synchronized diving … Continue reading
\n event when this professional exhibitionist did his thing. The scandal-phobic
\n camera crews assiduously avoided showing us this joker, but the announcer,
\n in a snooty British accent, mentioned that there was "something of a
\n commotion" as a spectator described as "a streaker in a tutu" had penetrated
\n the pool area and actually performed a dive before being led off by police.<\/p>\n
\n Diving at 3 in the afternoon on a weekday? Well, for one, we have a week’s
\n break between semesters, and as usual after the super-intensive lawyers’
\n program in the summer, we spend several days in a quiet, darkened room
\n letting our brain cool down.<\/p>\n
\n diving, and wanted to check it out to ascertain if it met the Dowbrigade
\n criteria to be considered a real sport. We must admit it was gripping
\n drama. Going into the last round of dives, it was a Superpower Showdown
\n between the USA,
\n Russia and China. Hometown favorite Greece was a surprising fourth,
\n hoping to sneak in for a medal.<\/p>\n
\n and "assumed an illegal position" so they got a big fat zero and dropped
\n to last place. Their dive looked perfect to the Dowbrigade, which just shows
\n how little we know. Then one of the Chinese guys whacked the board
\n again on his way down, flipping and spinning into the water, with his
\n foot
\n fortunately, not his head, and that wiped them out. And finally, one
\n of the American dudes just spazzed out, went too far away from the board,
\n perhaps thinking of the Chinese diver, while the other one rolled too
\n fast and made too big a splash, and just like that, the Greek Olympic
\n Team won its first Gold Medal in about 2000 years. A supreme moment
\n in the athletic history of one of the most storied athletic nations
\n of all time. But it still shouldn’t be an Olympic event.<\/p>\n
\n each pair of divers attempting to absolutely mirror the motion, timing
\n and posture of their partner was visually captivating and introduced
\n a whole other dimension to the already spectacular display of young near
\n naked bodies involved in the whole diving field.<\/p>\n
\n element in the popularity of the Olympics, from the original games, which
\n were in large part a celebration of naked young bodies and often ended
\n in bacchanalian drunken orgies, up to the modern day. How else to explain
\n the almost universal fascination with "women’s" gymnastics, where men
\n and women, young and old, gay and straight, stare transfixed at each
\n quivering firm gluteus maximus. But it’s not a real sport.<\/p>\n
\n walks of life. We keep a running mental tab of our "All Time Greatest
\n Savings" at the supermarket, by store, total amount and percentage. We
\n count our snail style junk mail and celebrate on days our total is tops
\n in the office. We give our Business students virtual portfolios worth
\n $1 million and give a prize to the magnate with the greatest net worth
\n on the last day of the semester.<\/p>\n
\n sports, were fanatically competitive in all aspects of their lives. They
\n wouldn’t stage a poetry reading, they would hold a poetry contest. They
\n wouldn’t stage a drama festival, but rather a grand drama competition. Rather
\n than attend a concert, they would prefer a battle of the bands. But
\n they knew enough to keep these aesthetic competitions out of the Olympics.<\/p>\n
\n be played according to rules, and must be objectively scored. In a parallel
\n to our conversion from Cultural Anthropology to Physical Anthropology
\n many long years ago, if you can’t see it, count it, measure it or weigh
\n it, it doesn’t exist for the purposes of the discussion. We want goals,
\n runs, minutes and seconds, meters (yes, we love meters – so much easier
\n to play with) and kilometers. No 8.2 for not sticking the landing.
\n No 9.4 for "artistic impression."No throwing out the highest and lowest scores to reduce subjectivity.<\/p>\n
\n Sports are Not Really Sports and should be banned from the Olympics:\n <\/p>\n
\n passing itself off as a competitive sport<\/p>\n
\n the Olympics should be running (no horse races at all any more) and horse high
\n jumping. If they want to have a race including obstacles, that’s OK, but it
\n has to be a RACE. We could see bringing back the Chariot Race as well<\/p>\n
\n You might as well make body-building or the bathing suit portion of the
\n Miss Universe pageant Olympic sports<\/p>\n
\n these thirteen year old sex symbols to assume?<\/p>\n
\n Boxing, especially the Olympic variety where the short fights and protective
\n headgear practically guarantee that each fight will be decided by the
\n judges, depends on subjective judgment and a complicated point system. But
\n the primordial place of simple hand to hand combat in the Pantheon of
\n Sports, from ancient times to the present, convinced us to include it
\n with the "real" sports. Plus, the scoring is actually done largely by
\n computer these days, making it acceptably objective.<\/p>\n
\n "fashion" sports find a home in national championships, on cable television,
\n in traveling extravaganzas like the Ice Capades. But not in the
\n Olympics.<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"