{"id":2089,"date":"2004-02-14T16:23:41","date_gmt":"2004-02-14T20:23:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/dbnews\/2004\/02\/14\/true-love-is-hard-to-find\/"},"modified":"2004-02-14T16:23:41","modified_gmt":"2004-02-14T20:23:41","slug":"true-love-is-hard-to-find","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/2004\/02\/14\/true-love-is-hard-to-find\/","title":{"rendered":"True Love is Hard to Find"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n
\n

The Cambridge\/Montreal axis of the ‘Sphere is all aflutter
\n over the budding romance between the Redhead<\/a>,
\n Berkman Babe Extraordinaire, and the
\n inimical and irrepressible Accordion
\n Guy<\/a>. In these cruel and cynical times, it is refreshing to
\n witness love blossoming once again, against all odds and rational expectations.
\n Luckily the lovebirds involved seem to have fully functioning gag reflexes
\n and enough self-awareness to realize when they are in danger of drifting
\n into the grotesquely goopy zone. Thus far their public appearances have
\n been
\n strictly
\n "R"
\n rather than "X" -rated.<\/p>\n

Which is as it should be. The Dowbrigade is frankly uncomfortable
\n with ostentatious public displays of affection. These
\n days privacy is an exceptionally precious commodity, and it seems that
\n anyone aspiring
\n to fame or thrust by fate into the public spotlight must accept an almost
\n constant and microscopic examination by the forces of the Fifth Estate.<\/p>\n

Today we are all waiting with baited breath for the results of tonight’s
\n "Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner" dinner, as the Redhead presents her Philippino-Canadian,
\n Blogging, Accordian-Playing Man-About-Toronto Beau to her doting parents.  How
\n many questionable categories can one Suitor represent? Not to worry –
\n according to the ever-optimistic Accordion Guy, "Parents love me!"<\/p>\n

We are all rooting for Amore and this star-crossed couple. Reports from
\n the dinner should be available sometime tonight. Even in the Blogosphere
\n celebrity involves a certain loss of privacy.<\/p>\n

Which brings us, this cold and threadbare Valentine’s Day, to another,
\n less sanguine love story.  As reported here yesterday, after a torrid
\n 41-year romance, America’s Sweethearts, Barbie and Ken, are calling it
\n quits.<\/p>\n

News of show business breakups is hardly news at all, despite its
\n persistent appearance in our newspapers and other media, but sometimes
\n in the aftermath enterprising reporters dig deep and discover or invent
\n fascinating and engrossing tales of the depraved escapades which led
\n to the end of the relationship.<\/p>\n

This sad, pathetic story is playing out again, as rumors of Barbie
\n Running Wild, gin-soaked vacations in Australia and on certain South
\n Sea Islands, participation in a Doll-swapping ring in an attempt to
\n breath a little life into their moribund relation, and a steamy sex
\n video involving the voluptuous 40-something articulated model and an
\n entire Welsh Rugby Team swirl around the respective camps.<\/p>\n

Although we have not yet been able to get our sweaty hands on a copy
\n of the video, numerous still shots have started circulating on the
\n Internet, documenting a sick and twisted descent into perversion and
\n depravity, testifying once again to the seductive allure of the fast
\n lane and its ability to corrupt even the most wholesome of American
\n icons.<\/p>\n

After
\n doing some research on the Net, the Dowbrigade is frankly aghast.  Who
\n knew? Photographic evidence of promiscuity, homosexuality, even bestiality
\n were everywhere! Barbie in a compromising position with with
\n Billy Bong, an Australian surfer, Barbie doing the nasty with GI Joe, Barbie
\n corrupting the adolescent Skipper, even Ken in some awful suspicious
\n positions himself.<\/p>\n

We had to think long and hard before publishing these photos, but
\n in the end their value as authentic news and as a moral admonition
\n of the sins of success.  We all hope the rumors prove untrue and
\n Barbie and Ken kiss and make up soon.<\/p>\n

Photos from I Love My Toys<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Cambridge\/Montreal axis of the ‘Sphere is all aflutter over the budding romance between the Redhead, Berkman Babe Extraordinaire, and the inimical and irrepressible Accordion Guy. In these cruel and cynical times, it is refreshing to witness love blossoming once … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":299,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1443],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2089","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-esl-links"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2089","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/299"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2089"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2089\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2089"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2089"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2089"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}