{"id":1927,"date":"2004-01-10T00:08:45","date_gmt":"2004-01-10T04:08:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/dbnews\/2004\/01\/10\/more-cold-jokes\/"},"modified":"2004-01-10T00:08:45","modified_gmt":"2004-01-10T04:08:45","slug":"more-cold-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/2004\/01\/10\/more-cold-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"More Cold Jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a name='a2235'><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Like almost everything else, cold is relative. Every fall, at the beginning of the semester, as soon as the temperature drops below 60 F, the Brazilian and Saudi students start to complain of the cold. But on the coldest January days, temps in the single digits,  the Russians are running around outside in their shirt sleeves, asking where the best spots are nearby for ice fishing (the Dowbrigade happens to know the answer.  Here is a quick primer on what is likely to happen at a given temperature:<\/p>\n<p>60 &#8211; Brazilians and Saudis put on sweaters (if they can find one)<\/p>\n<p>50 &#8211; Miami and Caracas  residents turn on the heat<\/p>\n<p>45 &#8211; New England natives go to outdoor concerts<\/p>\n<p>40 &#8211; You can see your breath<br \/>\nCalifornians shiver uncontrollably<br \/>\nMinnesotans go swimming<\/p>\n<p>35 &#8211; Italian cars don&#8217;t start<\/p>\n<p>32- Water freezes<br \/>Beer goes down easy<\/p>\n<p>30 &#8211; You start planning your vacation to Australia<\/p>\n<p>25 &#8211; Ohio water freezes<br \/>\nCalifornians weep pitiably<br \/>\nMinnesotans eat ice cream<br \/>\nCanadians go swimming<\/p>\n<p>20 &#8211; Politicians begin to talk about the homeless<br \/>\nNew York City water freezes<br \/>\nMiami residents plan vacation further South<\/p>\n<p>15 &#8211; French cars don&#8217;t start<br \/>\nPets and small children insist on sleeping in your bed with you<\/p>\n<p>10 &#8211; You need jumper cables to get the car going<br \/>\nDowbrigade is willing to pay 10 cents extra to avoid pumping his own gas<\/p>\n<p>5 &#8211; American cars don&#8217;t start<\/p>\n<p>0 -Russians put on T-shirts<\/p>\n<p>-10 German cars don&#8217;t start<br \/>\nEyes freeze shut when you blink<\/p>\n<p>-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo<br \/>\nArkansans stick tongue on metal objects<br \/>\nMiami residents cease to exist<\/p>\n<p>-20 Pets insists on sleeping in pajamas with you<br \/>\nPoliticians actually do something about the homeless<br \/>\nMinnesotans shovel snow off roof<br \/>\nJapanese cars don&#8217;t start<\/p>\n<p>-25 Too cold to think<br \/>\nYou need jumper cables to get the driver going<br \/>\nFootball players put on long sleeves<\/p>\n<p>-30 You plan a two week hot bath<br \/>\nSwedish cars don&#8217;t start<\/p>\n<p>-40 Californians disappear<br \/>\nMinnesotans button top button<br \/>\nRussians put on sweaters<br \/>\nYour car helps you plan your trip South<\/p>\n<p>-50 Congressional hot air freezes<br \/>\nRussians close the bathroom window<\/p>\n<p>-80 Hell freezes over<br \/>\nPolar bears move South<br \/>\nPatriots Fans order hot cocoa at the game<\/p>\n<p>-90 Politicians put their hands in their own pockets<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Like almost everything else, cold is relative. Every fall, at the beginning of the semester, as soon as the temperature drops below 60 F, the Brazilian and Saudi students start to complain of the cold. But on the coldest January &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/2004\/01\/10\/more-cold-jokes\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":299,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1443],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1927","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-esl-links"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1927","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/299"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1927"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1927\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1927"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1927"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1927"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}