![](\"http:\/\/cyber.law.harvard.edu\/blogs\/static\/dowbrigade\/saint.gif\")
Events in the Dowbrigade’s world are coming to a head. Creditors circling
\n like vultures, career options drying up, the mother lode of rich incoherent
\n foreigners petering out, suspicious strangers with inconspicuous earpieces
\n seemingly everywhere, just standing, watching….<\/p>\n
It is becoming increasingly clear that but one path remains out of this
\n morass of miscalculation and damaged dreams. Fortunately, it is
\n a path the Dowbrigade has been planning on following for years, a last-ditch
\n escape hatch, and one with an illustrious history in legend, folklore
\n and real-life history. The Dowbrigade is going to found a new religion.<\/p>\n
Putting aside the theological considerations for a moment, from a fiduciary
\n point of view it would be manna from heaven. Besides the obvious
\n tax benefits, the potential revenue from digital dispensations, votive
\n candles, designer sacraments, subscription-only newsletters, on-line
\n faith-based
\n fund raising campaigns, recycled publications, consecrated vestments, educational
\n retreats, cross-promotions, and tithing of the faithful but brain dead would choke a Croesus.<\/p>\n
Of course, a successful religion has to offer something substantial
\n to its adherents. I mean besides inner peace and tax deductions. Here
\n is where we get wicked ingenious. Our new religion would celebrate
\n all the major American holidays (Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Valentines
\n Day, Super bowl Sunday), but we will celebrate them A WEEK AFTER EVERYONE
\n ELSE! That way, we will be able to take advantage of Half-Price Halloween
\n Candy!, Big After Christmas Sales, and Deeply-slashed, Open-box High-Definition
\n TV’s! Wrapping paper and Hallmark Cards 50% Off! I see smart shoppers
\n converting in droves.<\/p>\n
Now, we are not joking about this project. Look how well the More-Mons
\n have done. Imagine, a religion founded by a guy named "JOE SMITH"
\n in a place like Elmira, New York. Yeah, right! I grew up near Elmira,
\n and let me tell you, I’ve never seen a LESS religious spot. And have
\n you ever seen that movie they show at the Mother Church in Salt Lake
\n City? Christ does pre-Columbian Central America? Who knew?<\/p>\n
Or Scientology, which certainly deserves some sort of P.T. Barnum Award.
\n Founded by a Science Fiction Writer! Who wrote a novel outlining
\n the fantastic plot before he turned it into reality! And now Tom Cruse
\n is a member! Even some Mensa members are Scientologist’s.<\/p>\n
Brilliant, sacred examples like these inspire the Dowbrigade! Anything
\n is possible! The sky’s the limit! This is clearly an idea
\n whose time has come, and not a moment too soon. Now all we need
\n is a little divine intervention, a healthy dose of dogma and a cannon
\n or two.<\/p>\n
Obviously,
\n dealing with Man’s relationship with the Infinite is no joking matter,
\n and we
\n have
\n given
\n much thought to the theological content of our new religion. Celibacy
\n for adherents or leaders is clearly out, for starters. We may not go as far as
\n some of the Greek Dionysian temples, but would favor leaning in that
\n direction.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately,
\n the Dowbrigade is so innately ecumenical and empathetic that the body
\n of belief so far resembles the bar scene in the original Star Wars if
\n every weird alien were the Messiah of his, her or its species. My
\n deeply ingrained but repressed Jewish mysticism forms a backdrop to a mad
\n mishmash
\n of Rastafarianism
\n and
\n Zoroastrianism, Tantric Zen and the Andean Pachamama sect. Lounging
\n around our Pantheon one can spy a blue man flute group, a blank-eyed
\n congenital idiot and a six-armed elephant-head
\n who definitely does NOT appear to be a Republican.<\/p>\n
Add a pinch of B’ahai and some serious Kabala symbolism, the San Pedro As to the Dowbrigade’s official role in this new religion, I am wavering So sign on now, fans, the Cardinalships are going fast. <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Events in the Dowbrigade’s world are coming to a head. Creditors circling like vultures, career options drying up, the mother lode of rich incoherent foreigners petering out, suspicious strangers with inconspicuous earpieces seemingly everywhere, just standing, watching…. It is becoming … Continue reading
\n cult ceremonies of the Sacred
\n Psychedelic Cactus<\/a>, the Rites of
\n Eleusis and occasional cameos from Loki, Monkey and Dido, the Wandering
\n One. We pitch a big tent. Room for anyone who buys into the lazy
\n fair, laid-back modus operandi. Welcome aboard.<\/p>\n
\n between Prophet and Oracle. Prophet provides more opportunity for
\n dramatic public appearances, but Oracle has that air of mystery and mysticism,
\n which would cover all sorts of ecstatically inebriated behavior. In a
\n moment of irrational exuberance we considered Messiah, but that role
\n demands
\n a
\n lot of works,
\n doing miracles
\n and such, and has a history of ending up badly.<\/p>\n