{"id":123,"date":"2005-03-11T23:08:01","date_gmt":"2005-03-12T03:08:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/dbnews\/2005\/03\/11\/flabbergasted\/"},"modified":"2005-03-11T23:08:01","modified_gmt":"2005-03-12T03:08:01","slug":"flabbergasted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/2005\/03\/11\/flabbergasted\/","title":{"rendered":"Flabbergasted"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

\"fatguys\"<\/p>\n\n\n
\n

Once again, The
\n Washington Post<\/a> has published the winning
\n submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply
\n alternate meanings for
\n common words.<\/p>\n

The winners are:<\/p>\n

1. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.<\/p>\n

2. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.<\/p>\n

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.<\/p>\n

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.<\/p>\n

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.<\/p>\n

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
\n answer the door in your nightgown.<\/p>\n

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.<\/p>\n

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.<\/p>\n

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
\n over by a steamroller.<\/p>\n

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.<\/p>\n

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.<\/p>\n

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignifie! d bearing adopted by proctologists.<\/p>\n

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.<\/p>\n

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.<\/p>\n

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when
\n you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.<\/p>\n

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
\n men.<\/p>\n

from the
\n Washington Post<\/a> <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are: 1. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":299,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogging"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/299"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=123"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/dowbrigade\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}