{"id":4,"date":"2005-09-09T03:18:12","date_gmt":"2005-09-09T08:18:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.law.harvard.edu\/astra\/2005\/09\/09\/balance\/"},"modified":"2005-09-09T03:18:12","modified_gmt":"2005-09-09T08:18:12","slug":"balance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/2005\/09\/09\/balance\/","title":{"rendered":"Balance"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

\nToday would have to have been marked as a somewhat low point on my
\nhappiness scale if it were not for a piece of news and an accidental
\nstumbling-upon of the xanga of an acquaintance from college. The
\nnovelty of a new lab setting has worn off considerably, while (probably
\nmostly self-induced) pressure to really get started on background
\nresearch for my project has ramped up. A car deal fell through at the
\nlast minute yesterday, which left me feeling rueful but glad for the
\nlife lesson (make the deal first, then<\/span>
\nget the car DX’d in) immediately afterwards, but the realization this
\nmorning that we’re back to square one sapped my energies a bit. This,
\ncombined with an interesting but long lab meeting and two long shuttle
\ntrips, dragged my spirits down by the end of the afternoon. At the end
\nof the last shuttle trip, I heard from an elated J that he had
\npassed his quals (as a first-year). It was refreshing to hear such good tidings.<\/p>\n

The evening consisted of buying some chairs, eating dinner and setting
\nup a rudimentary work station so I could start working on my
\npresentation for tomorrow. Halfway through organizing papers for type
\nup, I got hit by a wave of boredom, what I believe to be my first since
\nI started research on the project. Following that came a wave of
\nanxiety as I wondered what sort of a two-year stint I’d gotten myself
\ninto, whether it will all turn out to be worthwhile, and not deviate
\ntoo much from my numerous hopes and expectiations. To distract myself I
\nscuttled into thefacebook.com and checked the list of friends with
\nrecently updated profiles. A name popped out at me, that of a girl one
\nyear my senior whom I have known as a friend. I’ve often (unbeknownst
\nto her) admired her from afar, not only for her intellect but also for the joie de vivre <\/span>that
\ntranslates, for her, into a vibrant kaleidoscope of interests as well as a
\nquietly buoyant personality infused with warmth. There are many people
\nI’ve known who possess the energy, enthusiasm and talent to carry out a
\nhaphazard lifestyle I might call that of the “overachieving dilettante”
\n– encompassing various hobbies and activities, but lacking coherence, balance, or
\na serious intention to pursue them over an extended period of time.
\nAlmost three years ago, I wrote an entry in my online journal – an ode
\nto “a few good women”, one of whom was the aforementioned individual.<\/p>\n

…These Harvard women who are academically and intellectually
\nbrilliant without being socially inept weirdos or unapproachable pricks
\n(men tend to do that I think- the smarter they are the.. odder.. they
\nare).. these girls each possess an inner radiance, a kind of quiet
\nyet strong confidence that tilts their chins up high and gives them a
\nbuoyant and graceful stride, clear eyes and thoughtful demeanor. I
\nfind these people incredibly attractive.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

So the xanga of hers I stumbled upon turned out to be relatively
\nnew
\nwith only a handful of pages, which was a fortunate thing as I easily could
\nhave spent the night reading all of the entries (though of course,
\nI am now spending a precious part of my night typing this entry). They
\nwere thoughtful, funny, well-crafted accounts, refreshingly devoid of
\nbitterness, pessimism, pretentiousness, unnecessarily flippant
\nor crass humor that can depreciate even the most wittily entertaining
\nand intellectually stimulating composition. There are many things I
\ncould comment on, such as how I can empathize with her search for
\nindependence, or how I became acutely aware of my need to exercise much
\nmore than I am now. But above all, the image formed by her entries –
\nthat of an active and happy lifestyle, dedicated to work without
\nneglecting the good stuff or forgetting to enjoy the present – made me
\nhang my head with shame, but also evoked a surge of hope, and renewal.<\/p>\n

So a reminder to myself: Work hard now so as to hit the ground running,
\nbut once things settle down let’s pursue that elusive balanced state. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today would have to have been marked as a somewhat low point on my happiness scale if it were not for a piece of news and an accidental stumbling-upon of the xanga of an acquaintance from college. The novelty of a new lab setting has worn off considerably, while (probably mostly self-induced) pressure to really […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":745,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/745"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.blogs.harvard.edu\/astra\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}